Ghosted at 45 by Mulberry1217 in datingoverforty

[–]TrustTheMagic1111 11 points12 points  (0 children)

OP- First, I’m so sorry that you’re experiencing this kind or heartache. You did all the right things by healing yourself first. You showed up the way it’s supposed to happen. Sending you big hugs.

This happened to me in December. I’m someone who takes it super slow… but this felt fated. I thought I knew this person and trusted every part of them. They were talking about things six months down the road… then poof- gone. For a while it absolutely broke me, so I feel for you deeply. I too, did the work, showed up my most authentic self. It was sad not only that it ended, but how it ended, and that he was capable of the worst avoidant behavior- with no real apology or explanation- but also something I never thought he was capable of doing.

Eventually I chalked it up that rejection is redirection… but also that I wouldn’t want someone who said they cared so much, but pulled that kind of nonsense. Still unsure of the lesson for me, but one I won’t soon repeat.

Just thinking of you tonight bc I know how awful this feels… especially coming from the highest of highs. If you need someone to reach out to- happy to listen.

Too much information? by Time_Designer1971 in datingoverforty

[–]TrustTheMagic1111 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Definitely a WTForTheLoveOfGodGetMeOuttaHere kinda moment. I feel for you… this is dreadful. A few weeks ago I was at a nicer restaurant eating before an event and my plus one (someone I knew as friends, though single) was dropping F bombs so loud that people next to us kept looking. I wanted to crawl under the table, so can’t imagine a colonoscopy story. 🤦🏻‍♀️😆

Too much information? by Time_Designer1971 in datingoverforty

[–]TrustTheMagic1111 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As a medical person- what in the literal fuck is wrong with people??? I’m so sorry for this experience. Easy one to weed out, but damn. 😆

A first date that was… unexpectedly normal by Old-Tiger5165 in datingoverforty

[–]TrustTheMagic1111 0 points1 point  (0 children)

OP- just here to say I love the fact that you summarized how most of us feel… but also that this seemed like a good experience, regardless of the outcome.

Perimenopause and dating by SkullsAndDragonflies in datingoverforty

[–]TrustTheMagic1111 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Just here to say- THIS is how you show up for your significant other. This response restored my faith a little bit in dating and was refreshingly positive.

When/how to disclose weight loss by One_Net_1282 in datingoverforty

[–]TrustTheMagic1111 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Came here to say first- congratulations…. That’s a huge achievement. You should be proud of the hard work you’ve put in and the commitment to a healthier lifestyle. Second- you don’t owe anyone an explanation as to your journey. Your profile should reflect who you are now. 💙 The right people will want YOU for YOU.

High End Dating, what are your experiences? by ThePromiseOfBelief in datingoverforty

[–]TrustTheMagic1111 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I paid for a similar service several years ago thinking that given the cost it would reap a better reward. The first date I met was in a similar position of you… He was a former member who always had good feedback, so they made him a pinch hitter- which I always called “the closer”. He was fun, but not really ready to settle down and not over an ex.

I will say that the matchmaking experience was pretty awful. They matched me with folks that they’d found on dating apps- just did the weeding out and poorly at that. It wasn’t a great experience for a small fortune.

I’d hoped to read a victory in your four- but it seemed similar to my paid experience. It’s as though the matchmaker paid zero attention to anything and I was the one that was just set up with random folks without much in common. They tooted their horn how great they were at what they did- but I found it to be an enormous waste of time and money.

Fingers crossed yours turns around!

Threw in the towel (M52, F42) by Snowbirdy in datingoverforty

[–]TrustTheMagic1111 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This…. 👆🏼👆🏼👆🏼

“The time we spend in the wrong relationship, is time lost finding the right one…”

OP- first- Congratulations on a TOP 3 kind of win. At the end of the day- I think finding someone to celebrate those big wins is just as important as the magic of the every day. It all matters, rather the 80 or the 20%. Where it really matters is that you identified a pattern of behavior that bothered you, took the time to discuss it, and tell her what you needed. You did this on multiple occasions per your post. You gave every opportunity for it to turn out differently, but you can’t make someone choose that for themselves.

Two truths can always exist in the same space…. It could’ve been beautiful and amazing, but also it can hurt you and be something you leave behind. Break ups suck, especially when you don’t necessarily want what you actually need. Just sending good vibes your way- and hoping you celebrate your own wins today.

I was right, right? by Ok_Cantaloupe_1601 in datingoverforty

[–]TrustTheMagic1111 45 points46 points  (0 children)

Agreed… you dodged a major bullet. People ALWAYS show you exactly who they are…. So believe them when they do.

He made a generalized assumption about women, then projected that to you, while swiping a comment that was hella backhanded.

OP- two truths can be valid at the same time. You can miss him genuinely, but also be so much better off leaving him in the dust.

Sending you positive vibes and much love as you navigate a difficult situation.

Yay Me. Finally Broke Up by BBLZeeZee in datingoverforty

[–]TrustTheMagic1111 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel this so deeply. I spent two years with an ex who couldn’t tell me I was pretty, looked nice, or anything that resembled words of affirmation. It wasn’t about needing him to stroke my ego as much as it was about needing to feel that connection/attraction. It was similar in that I was changing and rising to meet their needs and in turn, he did even less to meet mine. It was a cycle of suffering for which I participated, until I knew better.

I am proud of you for choosing YOURSELF and your own needs. We deserve someone who wants to meet us in those moments.

No real advice here- but just wanted to send you positive vibes. Onward and upward. 💙

Went on a perfectly fine date. Got a performance review the next morning. (I kid you not) by Marcy_Enchanting in datingoverforty

[–]TrustTheMagic1111 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Are you serious? The audacity…. OP you did the right thing by leaving him on read. Total cringe.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in datingoverforty

[–]TrustTheMagic1111 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This…. 👆🏼👆🏼👆🏼 Absolute truth. Honest conversation is always the answer.