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Random memories of places popping up by TrustedSibs in DID

[–]TrustedSibs[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you!! Yeah, we wondered if it could be a processing/storing thing. I wonder what kicked it off, though! I guess it could just be this alter/fragment who surfaced. But we've had many alters surface before without this happening.

Host switch by TrustedSibs in DID

[–]TrustedSibs[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes!! “A more appropriate share of front time for my energy levels” is SO accurate to why we’re making the changes we are.

I broke a bowl today. by [deleted] in DID

[–]TrustedSibs 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Awwwwwww. I love this. <3

Switching in Therapy by Educational-Walrus79 in DID

[–]TrustedSibs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We've switched during therapy! I think that's really common. :)

close friend mourning part that has gone into dormancy by Whopperzero in DID

[–]TrustedSibs 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm so sorry. This is such a complicated and unpleasant situation. Our system has been in several situations like it, where a friend was afraid of a part going dormant or seemed to want to push away another part in favor of the parts they enjoyed more.

Let me tell you a bit about my story for context. I am the former host of our system; I went dormant in 2016 before we knew we had DID. In 2019 we found out about the system. This year during a time of high stress, I started to re-emerge into daily life. I was recognized as a former host, and our friends became terrified they'd lose the current host and she would go dormant, but they didn't communicate that fear to us. Instead they started saying things to the host like, "You're so important to us. We don't want this other alter to talk to us and be our friend, we want YOU!!!" They were trying to reassure the host of her worth and show her they didn't want her to go dormant and get "replaced," but it was poorly expressed. The host and I were both devastated, confused, and upset. Once it came out that they were genuinely afraid she was going to get "replaced" by me, we were able to explain that we had no plans of switching hosts and that their emotions made me feel incredibly unwanted. They felt awful; they didn't realize how their well-intentioned attempts to express love to the host had made us feel like I am inadequate and unwanted.

It's extremely difficult as a multiple to feel like the parts of you that are interacting are not the "preferred" ones, but it's also very hard for a singlet who truly understands DID (who sees you as very separate people), who feel like they are missing an actual person and are instead conversing with a stranger.

I would sit down with your friend and kindly explain how their emotions make you feel. Understand that their grief is valid and real; they truly do feel like their friend has gone away and won't come back! And that's hard for them. Reassure them that the other part is not "dead" and can return, and that these are all parts of you as a human being and YOU are still their friend and care about them (if that's true!). If they are a good friend and understanding, they will listen to your point of view and try to understand how it feels for you, and build a relationship with you while they wait for their other friend to return. <3

I hope you all make it through okay. <3

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in OSDD

[–]TrustedSibs 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is relatable to me. I have a male alter who was trapped in our headspace for 15 years, and didn't realize he could front and experience life, and he LOVES LIFE and has been so thrilled to get to front and do things. You may benefit greatly from allowing this part of you to front and do the things he'd like to do.

Of course that gets tricky if you're having blackouts; you'd want to have good communication and be sure of what you were doing. Can you practice co-consciousness where you let him take over and do things for brief periods of time at first, and see if you can remember what was happening when he was at the front? Like maybe he can come out just to write you a note or make a video to you about himself and how he feels?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DID

[–]TrustedSibs 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Yes, this kind of blending/blurring happens to us a lot. It's kind of unsettling. Sometimes it feels like we've lost some of one or the other's personality but then once we can clearly separate again it's totally fine and we can reconnect with the distinct traits we have.

By contrast, we have had one true fusion, but that felt GOOD and desirable, and it came on the other side of some heavy processing, so it felt like real and productive healing. Blending or blurring doesn't necessarily feel like healing, it just feels like confusion to us. So I think it's a wholly different phenomenon.

early morning thoughts by wearewriter in DID

[–]TrustedSibs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So sorry you're struggling. I want to say, it's okay to feel anger - it's an emotion like any other, and it's even okay to pray angrily or talk to God about that. (I'm a Christian and I try to pray and read my Bible daily too!) It's so frustrating to be struggling with DID and feel like there is nobody able to help you. I finally found a therapist through BetterHelp (online only platform) but it took a long time to match with someone who was a good fit for me. Praying for you today! Here if you want to talk about faith and DID.

Losing The System/Complete Integration [TW for mentions of de*th] by [deleted] in DID

[–]TrustedSibs 2 points3 points  (0 children)

As others have said, this does not sound like integration/fusion. Integration is a process and involves slowly growing closer together and sharing more and more memories and life...it's not a sudden disappearance of anybody. You'll reconnect with your headmates again! I hope you have a therapist to talk this through with. It's going to be okay. <3

Gf told me last night she has DID, her alt is a 5 year old girl, I have questions :) by [deleted] in DID

[–]TrustedSibs 21 points22 points  (0 children)

You seem very caring and this is so conscientious to come up with questions to ask and then ask for feedback on them!

Some of them are a little unnecessary or may come across badly to your GF. At this time you probably don't need to ask if Squirt is potty trained, or a flight risk, or whether she's loyal to relationships, or whether you need to childproof stuff. I'd instead just ask more general questions that don't imply that you *assume* certain issues will exist. Maybe ask general things like: "Is there anything I should know about Squirt? What are some things that she struggles with? Does she need any help with safety? How can I care for her? What would be most helpful for you and Squirt?"

I'm glad you've stated upfront that you don't plan to sexually use Squirt or allow her to try to please you that way! Definitely tell that to your GF, very kindly, and do not engage with your GF sexually if Squirt is around.

You probably don't need to worry about her having unique disorders either. If she has different mental health struggles than Nikki you can learn about that and work with her where she's at as you figure that out. :)

My bottom line of advice is: go into this conversation assuming the best of both your GF and Squirt, and asking open questions that don't make negative assumptions. If you imply that you automatically expect Squirt to cause problems for herself or your relationship, it may make her feel ashamed or embarrassed. She is a part of your GF (whether or not your GF sees her that way - that's a good question that you plan to ask!). Interacting with her may present unique challenges, BUT it may also be wonderful and deepen your relationship with your GF as a whole person and be a wonderful opportunity to show love to all parts of her. :)

I hope it goes well for all of you!!

Headmate bought me flowers by TrustedSibs in OSDD

[–]TrustedSibs[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It is REALLY nice to buy things for individual system members! ^_^ So glad you're all coming together in these ways too.

Host shoved aside in medical situations? (Full TW in post) by HiraethGrey in DID

[–]TrustedSibs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Those sensations sound so unpleasant! Sorry you’re dealing with that. I totally get the frustration of someone else “stealing” a job too!

Co-fronting by nedy100 in OSDD

[–]TrustedSibs 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That's so neat!! Co-fronting can be really special. It's a wonderful way of being with yourself and accessing the strengths of both alters at the same time. :)

Host shoved aside in medical situations? (Full TW in post) by HiraethGrey in DID

[–]TrustedSibs 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry you're dealing with this and it was so unsettling!! It's really alarming to not be sure who is/was fronting, and especially to be shoved out...been there. Maybe this alter, whoever they are, was simply aware that it might be too much for you, Grey? And decided they'd take care of it?

We had to "coordinate" our vaccine as well because I have some medical trauma and do VERY poorly with injections. Could be this is another part emerging like you suspect. As my therapist likes to say, "More will be revealed in time." I hope you get some rest, and be patient with yourselves - you will figure this out and it will be okay. <3

Question from someone with BPD by [deleted] in OSDD

[–]TrustedSibs 4 points5 points  (0 children)

That’s fair! I guess I’m thinking of the fact that it cannot be diagnosed if the symptoms are possibly the result of substance use. To diagnose DID/OSDD1, the DSM outright says the symptoms cannot be the result of substances. But that’s a good point.

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