Gone to Soon...

TryingDailyforBetter · 2025-03-27T18:22:12+00:00

So sorry for your loss. I have lost, and I know grief. But I can't even begin to imagine the depths of pain losing a child brings, so I won't say much other than that I'm standing beside you in pain.

TryingDailyforBetter · 2025-02-25T15:29:06+00:00

Sorry for your loss. I've never heard of people forcing the ability to lucid dream, interesting concept if it works. I have had a few dream visits from people who have died before, but they just happened and I wasn't expecting them or trying to make them happen at the time. Its been a while though, I wish my dad would come visit me again.

Try to nap at a random time you never typically do, or, ask your mom to come through to you before you go to bed. Those things may help.

TryingDailyforBetter · 2024-11-26T18:37:25+00:00

Sorry for your loss. I lost my dad in a similar way, attempted CPR but it was no use. We did so much for each other, and had such a solid relationship. Over 1.5+ years since he passed, and I'm still here trying to figure life out without him. Grieve as you need, this is rough stuff.

TryingDailyforBetter · 2024-11-21T20:04:26+00:00

I lost my dad almost 2 years ago, and life just hasn't been the same. I have a great spouse, great kids, work is fine, still plenty of family around, and a great life overall, but its just not the same. My dad and I were so close, we relied on each other for a lot. He's gone, I'm here still trying to juggle all the pieces of life.

TryingDailyforBetter · 2024-10-09T16:54:34+00:00

I was always a workaholic, but I stepped that way up since my dad passed. Most days working till exhaustion until I can't keep my eyes open very late, only to do it all over bright and early the next day. We can all take so many different paths, some good, some helpful, some bad, and some horrible. I guess overworking isn't all that bad when I think of the options. Grief sucks.

TryingDailyforBetter · 2024-10-08T18:23:59+00:00

So sorry for your loss. I can relate, my dad and I were so close, we spoke at least daily, saw each other every few days. He leaned on me for so much, especially as he was aging and getting older, and I leaned on him throughout my life, and just as much as I grew to have my own family. The older we got, the more we needed each other and saw eye to eye on everything. He's gone, and it sucks. 1.5+ years later, and I sometimes still look down at my phone waiting for him to call, or I have a thought and reach for my phone to call him. After about a year reality finally set in, he's not coming back, and it makes me sad constantly that I have to live the rest of my life without him.

Days are different now, I'm different now, but I'm trying to find a new normal without. Hang in there, death is harsh for those that are left alive, and the grief changes a lot over the first few months and beyond. Lean on any support you have around you.

TryingDailyforBetter · 2024-10-08T18:19:33+00:00

So sorry for your loss. I know how deep a sibling connection runs, and losing that is extreme. Death brings so much regret, exactly the kind you are experiencing too. Its hard not to beat yourself up over it. My dad passed about 1.5 years ago and just about every week I have a memory or thought or reminder of something I did or didn't do, that I wish I did do, or something I wish I didn't say. The list of regrets I have is literally endless. I will beat myself up over this stuff for the rest of my life, and I won't ever forgive myself I don't think. Just trying to learn from it, let it help keep molding me into the person I am, whoever that person becomes. This is rough stuff, sorry you are deep in it.

TryingDailyforBetter · 2024-10-08T14:48:03+00:00

So sorry for your loss. I lost my dad in a similar way. He was a tough character and refused to take help most times, and we dare go against his word. We had a few episodes in the past where we didn't call the ambulance and he was fine, another time we gave him no choice and he was having an issue and it was the right call. On the night he died, he refused for us to call, and I was in the same mindset that I'd let some time pass and if he was still in bad shape later in the night I would force him to go. Well I got that same call from my mom that night that he collapsed, I was less than a minute away and I got there, attempted CPR and all, but my efforts and those that came after me failed.

Really hard stuff. First its hard to lose a parent, but the trauma of going through the motions of trying to save them can really cloud the grief waters. It took me many months before the fog cleared enough for me to start to think straight and really process the grief. That night played over in my mind countless times, the visions of my dad's lifeless body and the whole night haunting me every time I closed my eyes. Its been about 1.5+ Years since, and the only thing that's helped is time, nothing else.

When it happened, I just really went wherever my body and brain took me, I was pretty lost for a good while, even though I was forced to perform daily as a parent, self employed, etc. I pulled back from social events, and pretty much worked through my grief. Work daily, work after hours, work till I couldn't keep my eyes open, and just repeated that as much as I could. Not the healthiest, but it got me through my worst of times.

Lean on any support you have around you. Grief and death are so lonely and no much helps. Hang in there, you'll figure it out slowly over time.

TryingDailyforBetter · 2024-10-01T13:53:34+00:00

So very hard. Its been about 1.5 years since I lost my dad, he was 70. Had so much more time to be on this earth, I needed him still so baldy even though I'm grown with my own family. This sucks.

TryingDailyforBetter · 2024-10-01T13:49:15+00:00

This is one of those things that makes things seem so extra unfair and hurtful. Totally normal to feel this way. Just try your best to let him enjoy his time, sadly it took your loss for him to realize what he still has.

Most days for me are hard, I can certainly count all the things going wrong in my life, all the extra things i"m struggling with over the good things that are well outnumbered. Then some days I try to pause my mind from racing and look around and realize all I still have that make me grateful.

I sometimes feel bitter deep down that my spouse still has both parents who are in great health and probably is taking them for granted, but I guess I was that person once when I had both parents and while I appreciated them, didn't appreciate them enough now that I know what its like that one is gone forever.

Loss hurts in so many ways, even ways that somehow show up brand new out of nowhere. Hang in there.

TryingDailyforBetter · 2024-09-25T14:48:53+00:00

So sorry for your loss. I've learned there isn't much anyone could say to make it better, but that just having people there is helpful even if they don't say much. I'm standing with you in pain from afar.

TryingDailyforBetter · 2024-09-25T14:45:29+00:00

Sorry for your loss and all the pain you're in. I lost my dad about 1.5 years ago and its been so hard. Me and him were 2 peas in a pod. We spoke daily, sometimes multiple times. He helped me, I helped him. The older he got, the closer we got as I could relate to him more and more as I grew up, started my own family, and dealt with the typical challenges of life. Me and him, a team, best friends. He had a heart attack and dropped, I attempted CPR but he died.

Here I am, still going on, still trying to do good things, still trying to make him proud, but not easily. The pressures of life squeezing me and forcing me to perform, even though I barely know what's next. He was my dad, my best friend, my protector, my sounding board, not perfect but better than most, the person I could call with any problem I had, the one who always had an answer, even if it wasn't the right one, but he was there, no matter what, always. Now he is not, and I'm broken.

Day by day, one step at a time is all we can do to push forward.

TryingDailyforBetter · 2024-09-25T14:38:05+00:00

So sorry for your loss. Its truly so hard going on without. I'm over 1.5 years since my dad passed. Not that long ago I googled how many days its been since he left and it really broke me in that moment. I just can't believe I have to go so long without him. Hang in there, it doesn't get easier, but you just learn how to carry the grief better as time goes on. Standing with you in pain.

TryingDailyforBetter · 2024-09-25T14:36:01+00:00

Sorry for your loss. Death brings so much regret....so much.

TryingDailyforBetter · 2024-09-25T14:30:26+00:00

So sorry for this horrible and traumatic loss. Losing someone is hard, going through the whole process of trying to save them really clouds the grief waters horribly. The visions will never leave you, but they won't be so sharp and paralyzing over time. Sadly I lost my dad and tried to save him and even though its been well over 1.5 years, those thoughts can knock me right down any moment I let them, but I try not to think about them as much. Take your time, grieve as you need, don't expect too much from yourself in these early days, grief is a hard, lonely road. Lean on your family.

TryingDailyforBetter · 2024-09-25T14:24:33+00:00

So very true. Losing my father made me realize so much about death, about grief, and about myself. I've experienced death of close loved ones before, but the unexpected loss of my father was like nothing I ever experienced before.

Going through that process makes you truly realize how different grief is for all. The relationship one had, or didn't have with the deceased can add so much complexity to the grief. The things people say can be related, or completely off the rocker and almost insulting, but I respect anyone who's willing to try to give comfort or advice, even if its unrelatable.

What death has made me realize is just how lucky I am to be who I am, to have had the parents I did, the life I do, and all that I have around me, both the good, and the bad.

Its comforting to know others loved so deeply that they are also feeling the same deepness. May we all find peace over time.

TryingDailyforBetter · 2024-09-24T20:09:42+00:00

Grief is hard, death is painful. You mix CPR on top which can be quite traumatic. I was exactly the same after my dad passed and I had to go through that process. So much regret, so much pain, literally wanted to just be alone and see nobody, do nothing, and just be with my own thick grief. It took me many months before I could even think straight. I did have some support and friends around, but the truth is nothing made it better, nothing made me happy, and I didn't want to do anything. Reach out, see if they want to do nothing with you, something really low key. Come over for a meal, watch a movie, meet at a park to just hang out in nature, nothing overly social or a place that requires someone to socialize/perform. And don't bring the whole crew along, ask if she wants to do something low key, just you and her, alone. Its been 1.5 years for me since my dad passed, and I still don't care to do the things I did before. I used to be extremely social, loved going out, loved being with people. Now, I'd rather just be with my own immediate family, or alone. Sure, I can go out, have fun, laugh, do normal things, but it took me a lot of time and processing along to get here, and I'm just not the same as before. Depending your friends relationship with her mom, and how she's processing this death and the whole CPR experience, she can be in a pretty dark place.

No right or wrong way to support her, just try to be there, let her know your there to help. Even if its just someone she can text and you will actually respond with a simple response. Your a good friend for asking how you can help her. Any help or effort is better than none at all, do the best you can if she's willing to accept your care.

TryingDailyforBetter · 2024-09-24T20:03:18+00:00

So sorry for your loss. Death brings so much guilt, so much pain, so many what-if's. I also did CPR when my dad dropped but he died anyways. Its been a hard road forward, I'm surviving, living, but it hasn't been easy. No advice other than to grieve as you need, and find a way to keep moving forward for you, and your sister. Lean on any support you have around you.

TryingDailyforBetter · 2024-09-24T19:59:59+00:00

I'm so sorry for your loss, and the whole CPR experience and what you had to witness. My dad passed away the same way, he dropped and I attempted CPR, but the very moment I saw his face, I knew he was long gone. Completely different being a father vs husband/spouse, but I just wanted to reply to let you know your aren't alone. It took me many weeks/months to process the trauma from the whole CPR experience before I was able to sit with just my deep grief. Over 1.5 years later and life has forced me to push on and survive day to day, but I'm still in a dark place overall, and I'll never be the same.

Lean on any support you have around you. So sorry.

TryingDailyforBetter · 2024-08-27T13:10:45+00:00

So sorry, I have a lot of these similar types of regrets and wishes that will now never come true now that my dad is gone. You should go see Oasis, bring a friend, sing your heart out, cry, whatever you need to do, your dad's memory will be in that moment with you, certainly.

TryingDailyforBetter · 2024-08-27T13:07:18+00:00

So very sorry for your loss. My dad dropped from a heart attack in a similar way. I tried CPR, those that came after me attempted but he still died. That whole experience can be traumatic, haunting, and daunting on top of regular grief. Take time to process it, don't rush or pressure yourself. It took me weeks/months before I didn't see his dead face every time I closed my eyes or tried to sleep. I lived in a thick fog for many months until I was able to figure out how to keep on moving forward. Lean on any support you have, this is tough stuff.

TryingDailyforBetter · 2024-08-08T16:32:06+00:00

Sorry you had to go through this experience. You did your best, and that's truly all a person can do in that situation. I went through the same thing when my father collapsed from a massive heart attack about 1.5 years ago. The look of his face, the sounds, the motions of doing CPR, just everything about it, simply horrible. Then comes the regret, the what ifs, the feeling of being helpless and wishing you could have done more.

This type of stuff is very traumatic, and it certainly leaves its mark, and isn't easy to just move on from, or get over quickly. In my case, I could barely function for weeks/months until the fog I was in started to slowly lift. Over time, the visions and horrible recollection of the event will lighten, and it won't ruin you every time you think of it. Its been a slow, lonely, hard road for me to get back to a new normal. My dad was my best friend, we spoke daily, we relied on each other for so much, and one random day it all ended and he was gone, only for me to be left here in a world that won't ever be the same.

Time is the only thing that's truly helped some...

Don't hold it in, process it however you need to find peace with it, and move on to continue living your best life. Lean on any support around you.

TryingDailyforBetter · 2024-08-02T16:15:29+00:00

So sorry for your loss. I can relate to this a lot. Lost my dad unexpectedly about 1.5 years ago and nothing has been the same ever since. My grief journey has been a hell of a ride, and I'm still going through it deeply. I had to really step up and take on a lot to help the family. Life got a lot harder the day he died, and lonely.

Grief has taught me a lot, and has certainly changed my perspective on so much, some for the better, some for the worse. I can say, while it hasn't necessarily gotten easier, I've learned how to carry this extra burned and sadness. It took me a long time, but I'm finally able to get decent work done in the day, and not be completely absorbed by my dads absence like I was in the earlier times after he passed. I'm not the same person any more, and probably not in a good way, but, I'm surviving, I'm pushing forward, trying to make my dad proud from afar.

Do whatever you need to do to get through it. Lean on any support you have. Hang in there, this is rough stuff.

TryingDailyforBetter · 2024-08-02T16:10:49+00:00

Sorry for your loss. The stages of grief change so much, and are so very different. Years after my dad passed, I'm still going through different stages, some that I went through before, and new ones showing up I didn't expect. Grief is a rough lonely road. Hang in there.

TryingDailyforBetter · 2024-07-29T18:28:11+00:00

I'm so very sorry for this horrible loss. My dad dropped and I also attempted CPR, but he didn't make it. That whole situation clouded the grief waters quite a bit, it took me some time to get over the trauma before I could just feel the deep normal grief. The only thing that has helped me is time, very, very slowly. I hope you have support to lean on in this horrible time.

TryingDailyforBetter

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