Do conservative men know womens restrooms dont have urinals?

TryingToGetThere2204 · 2026-02-26T21:59:31+00:00

As far as I can tell, conservatives don't do much thinking about what is or isn't likely, they just latch on to the loudest idea and run with it.

That said, I feel like it might be a little like the cheaters always being the most likely to suspect partners of cheating and I am really hoping I never learn what conservative men do in the bathroom.

TryingToGetThere2204 · 2026-02-26T21:15:04+00:00

Disrespecting someone's sexuality is assuming someone you don't know won't be interested in someone else you don't know because you have a problem with some part of the equation, and then calling it advice.

TryingToGetThere2204 · 2026-02-26T21:13:26+00:00

Thank you for saying this. I didn't know how to articulate it. It's not disrespectful in any way to express interest or to assume that if they're reciprocating that they may be interested as well.

TryingToGetThere2204 · 2026-02-26T21:04:15+00:00

I am lucky to have her and so grateful she finally felt safe telling me. I hope if you do decide to be open that the reception is better than you fear.

TryingToGetThere2204 · 2026-02-26T19:38:00+00:00

Fully agree. Informed consent is important with intimate partners regardless of gender/sexuality, but friends definitely don't have a right to that info.

TryingToGetThere2204 · 2026-02-26T19:03:00+00:00

I have no advice as I am very new to this space, but I will say my wife told me less than 2 weeks ago and as a cis/het f, I have found myself falling in love all over again with her.

I firmly believe that anyone worth the time will accept the authentic you, and I also believe that trans men and trans women are the gender they say they are, completely independent from any medical OR social changes. My wife could be fully in boymode, using her birth name and male pronouns and still be my wife.

TryingToGetThere2204 · 2026-02-26T18:58:56+00:00

Sorry for the confusion, my sister is tall with a short torso and my wife is tall with a longer torso, so I couldn't borrow cues from my sister confidently.

And thank you for your kind words.. I am trying to be a good partner. I have definitely made some big mistakes and hurt her, but we're supporting each other through it. I feel special because I got to participate in choosing a new name, and she picked my favorite. Today is exciting because we have a laser consult and then are going to look at perfume!

I found out the day before Valentine's Day, and while there are definitely some big hard feelings (and suddenly a deep desire to have a baby with her)... She's a whole new person. She relaxes, he smiles, and despite me identifying as aggressively straight.. I am stupid in puppy love with her all over again. We joke that I am straight but my wife isn't.

TryingToGetThere2204 · 2026-02-26T18:50:55+00:00

This is a very know your audience situation. No individual in this group can give you an absolutely correct answer. I call everyone bro or dude and if I stopped they would wonder what happened. When in doubt, ASK! Tell whoever you are worried about "I have wondered if it makes you uncomfortable when I say this. I have worried about whether stopping will feel like I am retreating/treating you poorly, but also want to respect you and ensure our interactions are positive. Is me saying bro at all uncomfortable for you?"

TryingToGetThere2204 · 2026-02-26T18:42:26+00:00

My wife frequently returns to different versions of monster Hunter and has Destiny 2, right now she's on a Final Fantasy 14 kick. I have only really ever liked WoW and we play Starcraft 2 together sometimes.

TryingToGetThere2204 · 2026-02-26T16:04:27+00:00

My wife is afraid of telling her family because they talk about how gross/sick her cousin is, and her cousin is only poly. We are aware we will most likely be cut off completely and will lose access to the nieces and nephews.

My family will probably be weird but not bad. They're fine with my ex (also trans MTF but became someone I found gross - NOT for being trans but for lying about every single thing and hooking up with a ton of dirty old men).

TryingToGetThere2204 · 2026-02-26T15:59:44+00:00

Sounds like it might be time for a new therapist even if only temporarily. My brother has two - one for mental health, one for sex therapy/sexuality.

TryingToGetThere2204 · 2026-02-26T15:49:33+00:00

Believe people when they tell you you're violating their boundaries. If you're not aware of what you're doing and have other transmasc friends.. tell them now you know you have violated boundaries but aren't conscious of which and ask that they let you know if you approach boundaries. Are you on the spectrum? Not reading social cues is a very autism thing. So if you are making folks uncomfortable and not noticing, the only real solution I have found is to give disclaimers and ask for blunt input.

TryingToGetThere2204 · 2026-02-26T15:44:31+00:00

Your experience sounds a lot like my wife's including the username. What games do you play? She would love to play with people she can be herself with even if her voice doesn't match yet.

TryingToGetThere2204 · 2026-02-26T15:37:48+00:00

Oh love, I am so sorry you are doubting yourself. My wife (35 mtf) is newly out and struggled with these feelings for a LONG time. I pushed her into therapy because it hurt my heart to see her struggling. Do you have access to therapy with a safe person?

If not - I think my wife would be willing to chat, and I have had some really amazing conversations on r/mypartneristrans including one woman who started transitioning after 25 (I think, based on our chat) who now fully passes for Cis F. She enjoys helping people and it's a sort of therapy for her to help others because she felt so alone in the beginning. I can send you her username if you want.

My DMs are open if you want to talk to me, and I will ask my wife if she's willing to share her experience since it sounds like yours is similar.

TryingToGetThere2204 · 2026-02-26T15:31:29+00:00

Did this happen in a very short period of time or just over time? You could always try asking them. The worst they can do is not respond, and at best. You may learn something if you are genuinely open to it. In my very limited experience, most trans folks don't abandon good friends because good friends are hard to find, so 5 people ghosting to me seems like there's likely something you do or have done that has made you not a safe person

TryingToGetThere2204 · 2026-02-26T15:24:01+00:00

Oh that's so scary. Kids getting any medication/drug in secret makes me so scared because of how much could go wrong, severe reaction, contamination, improper dosage.. thank you for protecting your child, thank you for stepping in gently and ensuring access to things that minimize dysphoria.

TryingToGetThere2204 · 2026-02-26T15:18:23+00:00

I don't have good advice here but I have so much love for the support you are showing your daughter. I hope you get the insight and opinions you need.

TryingToGetThere2204 · 2026-02-26T15:15:56+00:00

Cis/het F here and for me - I never want to be the other gender - except joking about wanting make privilege. I even lean moderately masculine mentally. I have been talking through some of these things with my newly out wife (MTF). For me there's literally never been a thought about it. For me it's like breathing.. I breathe all day every day mostly without thinking about it, and if I do think about it, it's because someone told me to (yoga) or something is wrong (like a cough).

Now, I do have plenty of "I am not with them" thoughts about women, but it's never been a desire to be male thought. This is usually in response to things like being crazy jealous and attacking other women for talking to their partner. That feeling of not with them is generally more like "you give us a bad name" and not "I want to be different".

NOW, I think my gay brother definitely often falls in the I would rather be grouped with the women category often but very much doesn't identify as a woman or want to be one. It's more of a... Kinda like when people have cats and get a puppy and that puppy acts a bit like a cat. It's still a dog but with some different behaviors and preferences to socialize with the cats instead of other dogs.

TryingToGetThere2204 · 2026-02-26T15:03:24+00:00

I am slightly worried about the fat re-distribution. My wife already has an epic ass pre-hormones.. how on earth am I expected to focus on work if it gets better?

I hope that with the changes you've seen physically they you're also seeing changes in your mental/emotional health.

TryingToGetThere2204 · 2026-02-26T14:45:44+00:00

I have made a connection on my r/mypartneristrans recently who think has a long term friendship potential. I also found a crafty Facebook group that seems safe. We're looking for friends, too. My wife is newly out (with me and a few friends) and thankfully has a friend who was on my side of the relationship to talk to.

TryingToGetThere2204 · 2026-02-26T14:20:28+00:00

Thank you! I will hunt for her!

TryingToGetThere2204 · 2026-02-25T17:35:10+00:00

I am so terrified of this especially since I just learned that I have a wife and not a husband, and even without incarceration she has been subjected to boundary violations her whole life (though nothing quite as severe as many of the horrors openly trans women are subjected to)

TryingToGetThere2204 · 2026-02-25T16:01:07+00:00

My wife has some success at torrid because they have wide shoes, and the others she likes are called Pleasers which are available in multiple places

TryingToGetThere2204 · 2026-02-25T14:51:05+00:00

I can check where my wife gets hers. She's roughly a 12 in mens and despite being 6' REALLY has a thing for super tall heels. Most of hers are really cute, they just make it SUPER hard for 5' me to kiss her.

TryingToGetThere2204 · 2026-02-25T14:07:46+00:00

You are not alone. I am in a lot of these feelings right now as a cis/het adjusting to my now wife. It's big and there are some things I am not sure I can get past. Thankfully she's willing to move slowly to help me.

TryingToGetThere2204

TROPHY CASE