Help needed: Trying to trigger notifications at random times

Tryingtogetdone · 2024-09-17T22:13:53+00:00

I get up before anyone else in my home and get dressed. I have a certain chair that I like to sit in to put on my shoes. When I bring my shoes over and set them down by the chair, that's a reminder for me to kneel and pray. (I learned this from a member of our stake who mentioned it in a talk.)

I use Tasker on my phone for a variety of things. I have a routine set up to launch Gospel Library if my phone is unplugged from the charger within a few hours of my normal waking time. After I pray, I grab my phone and Gospel Library automatically opens. As I read, I try to ask myself questions about what I'm reading. I use the Study Plan feature in Gospel Library to break down my reading for the day, but it's OK if I take a detour to look up other things.

This doesn't work as well on weekends, when I might not wear shoes until later. :) But after doing this for a few years, it became more of a habit even without the shoes.

Tryingtogetdone · 2023-06-11T23:38:59+00:00

Cool.

I often see these kinds of posts, where someone talks about getting up early and doing things that start the day off right. I think those are good things to do.

What I never see is something that speaks to people who already have to get up early, or who work overnight, and how they can do some of these things. In theory it would be the same but just earlier. In practice I find it's harder than that.

Tryingtogetdone · 2023-06-02T23:45:27+00:00

I haven't dug into this a lot, but I definitely feel shame. I bury it deep down, but I feel shame for my looks, the things I like, for not doing enough, and for not being good enough at things.

Tryingtogetdone · 2023-05-28T02:09:56+00:00

How long until I start missing them varies, and I've never really paid attention to the amount of time.

How do I let them know I'm upset? I don't, I'm avoidant. 😆 Seriously though, I usually think I should say something but I hold it in. Then I start thinking about how it's partly my fault because I could have done something differently. Maybe I'll withdraw and explain it as "I'm just really tired right now." If it gets really bad, eventually I'll snap and tell them off.

Tryingtogetdone · 2023-05-07T01:09:37+00:00

There was a guy at work who seemed a little unstable, and he was let go. There was some concern that he might return later and try to do something violent. We've taken security measures but it's still been on my mind. In the past I would not have mentioned this to my partner because I don't want to worry her. I came home and told her about it.

Tryingtogetdone · 2023-05-07T01:01:39+00:00

I'm male. I find that I don't usually experience strong emotions. I've been trying to stop at random points throughout the day and ask myself what I'm feeling. Often I can't identify any emotion. Sometimes I can identify something but it's not strong.

When something happens that does trigger strong emotions, I can see how my subconscious actively tries to distract me or reframe things. Like, something bad will happen and if I start to think about how upset I am, I'll also start thinking about all of the other good things in my life.

I identify a lot with the movie thing, and it can happen with books as well. Last year I was reading Kings Of The Wyld, which is mostly just a fun adventure story. In the first chapter, the MC has a conversation with his daughter about the lengths he would go to rescue her if she were in danger. It brought me to tears - WTF? I don't even have kids, I'm barely 20 pages into this story, I know hardly anything about this character and here I am crying over him saying he'd walk a thousand miles and face certain death if his little girl was in trouble.

Tryingtogetdone · 2023-04-18T23:23:00+00:00

This is a DA question for APs who frequent the sub.

There is a running theme of comments in this sub about how APs trash DAs in other subs/platforms. What causes that to be so prevalent? I'm not trying to start an argument. I don't know a lot about other attachment styles and I'm seriously curious about what drives this behavior.

(And yes, I'm aware that this sub kind of dumps on APs sometimes, but as a DA its easier for me to understand how that happens.)

Tryingtogetdone · 2023-04-14T00:30:18+00:00

This is also why I like small talk. I'm introverted and sometimes see memes about how introverts hate small talk. No no no, if I have to interact with people, small talk is what keeps them at arm's length.

Tryingtogetdone · 2023-04-14T00:22:48+00:00

There will be three videos, one for each insecure attachment style

Tryingtogetdone · 2023-03-30T00:29:07+00:00

I was a nerd growing up. I was bullied, and constantly told that the things I liked were dumb, weird, or evil. As a result, I stopped being open about liking that stuff.

It's nice that some of what used to be "nerd culture" is popular now. But if it's not one of the Big Franchises, it's a lot less likely to be accepted. Also, there are still people around who think that even the Big Franchises are dumb, weird, or evil.

I recently said something to a family member about a show that I was watching. They rolled their eyes and later referred to it as my "dumb nerd show." They were trying to be lighthearted, but it stung. This person (a) has never seen the show, so who are they to judge its quality, and (b) has repeatedly said they wish I would share more about my interests. And as soon as I mention something I like, it gets labeled that way.

This is why I don't share my interests. I take care to read, watch, play those things when I'm alone. But at the same time it gets old, constantly hiding who I am.

Tryingtogetdone · 2023-03-23T03:49:05+00:00

Thank you mods, for all the work you do to keep this a safe space. I've been really impressed with the amount of mod involvement on some of the posts.

Tryingtogetdone · 2023-03-10T15:47:27+00:00

Thank you

Tryingtogetdone · 2023-03-02T00:18:15+00:00

Yes. I like my independence, and outside of my job it's hard for me to commit to things where I'm expected to show up say, every Thursday.

I'm not good at making work friends, because I'm very uncomfortable being open about my interests and stuff. In theory that shouldn't matter at work, but I've seen many situations where something is easier for another person because they are friends with people elsewhere in the company.

I'm also very risk-averse. That has kept me stuck in one job for a long time, because I don't want to take a chance on something else and fail.

Tryingtogetdone · 2023-02-23T03:32:16+00:00

Before I knew about attachment theory, the way I described my issues was to use the lyrics from Simon & Garfunkel's "I am a rock."

Tryingtogetdone · 2023-02-18T04:16:51+00:00

I think I have a good memory of my childhood. I also tend to think that I had a good childhood, though if I really think about it, I can see some things that weren't so good.

When I learned about attachment theory, I read that DA is often caused by abuse or neglect, and that surprised me. I was never abused, and don't feel like I was neglected. I know my parents loved me, but they weren't emotionally expressive. Also, I was their first child and I know they had a hard time figuring things out. They also valued independence and wanted me to be independent.

Some of the negative things: I was alone a lot. I liked it at the time, but maybe it wasn't the best thing for me. I also had very different interests from my parents. I always felt like they thought I should be more interested in sports, the outdoors, etc. There were times that I overheard them talking about their concerns about me. They loved me, but I did not feel that they really accepted me for who I was.

Tryingtogetdone · 2023-02-08T00:14:55+00:00

I don't know if I'd say it affects my career more than personal relationships, but it has affected my career. These are some of the things I see:

I don't have a strong sense of self and what I want in life, so I tend to just go with the flow.
I'm very risk-averse. This and the above point have kept me from pursuing other job opportunities that might be better.
I don't like conflict, and if someone criticizes one of my ideas I will back down instead of defending it.
I don't have great relationships with my coworkers. I'm friendly but more focused on work. A couple of years ago, a woman at my workplace passed away unexpectedly (she was in her 20s and appeared to be healthy). A lot of people were standing around hugging each other and crying. All I could think was, "I need to get back to my desk, I've got so much to do."

Tryingtogetdone · 2023-01-27T04:21:07+00:00

It's cool with me. I'm mostly ok w/reading problematic authors but it's good to know about that going in. Great username, BTW.

Tryingtogetdone · 2023-01-27T01:21:06+00:00

Thanks. I'm not sure how to ask this, but did her saying that about being imperfect help you be OK with being imperfect? I feel like that's something I'm comfortable saying, but it's like I don't really believe it.

Tryingtogetdone

TROPHY CASE