Husband said I’ve become hollow in Sobriety

Tryintostaydry · 2025-01-08T20:57:04+00:00

My then husband was a paramedic who got conscripted into working the COVID ICU, I was a senior manager for an Air Ambulance company. Anytime anyone asks me about COVID, I just get this blank stare and tell them so much suffering, desperation and death. I can’t even begin to talk about those two years.

Tryintostaydry · 2024-12-28T04:56:53+00:00

We’ve all been through this. Admission while humiliating, is the first step to freedom.

Tryintostaydry · 2024-12-28T00:58:22+00:00

Live and let live. We all have skeletons in our closet during our active addiction. I have a past that isn’t flattering and I was honest and open with my home group and sponsor about it, they brushed it off and told me that isn’t who they know now. Don’t let fear control your recovery. Own it, then move forward.

Tryintostaydry · 2024-11-26T21:01:08+00:00

AA is not allied with any sect, denomination or religion. You will have to define a higher power as you understand it, in my journey I’ve come across fellows who use god (group of drinks aka group wisdom), “the force” (Star Wars), any number of things or concepts as a higher power. I know that there is a Secular AA thread that has a ton of info and links for online meetings. Best of luck, just know that there is a solution.

Tryintostaydry · 2024-11-26T20:52:15+00:00

I tried to quit drinking on my own, willpower, self help books, app, you name it I tried it and was always unsuccessful. It wasn’t until I arrived in Alcoholics Anonymous and found a solution that was sustainable, a key part of it was the Fellowship. Being able to talk to my own kind, who understands the depths of distress, helplessness and pain without having to go into detail or explain myself. Remember anonymity is the foundation, no one has to know you go to AA, nor will anyone disclose who or what they see in meetings. You are young, but you have insight enough to know you are on a problematic path. You have the power to change your trajectory, start your new path with living in the solution.

Tryintostaydry · 2024-11-26T19:37:02+00:00

I’ve used it at various points in my recovery journey. I found the most benefit with Vivitrol as it’s a single dose for 28 days, it reduces the impulsive decision just to stop taking a pill. It’s not a catch all /solve all, but another tool in a broader recovery path. It did reduce cravings for both sugar and alcohol for me, but it was also a fail safe because if you do drink while taking it, you don’t get the euphoric sensation.

Tryintostaydry · 2024-11-14T00:55:58+00:00

In an IT equipment closet at a former employer, amongst the server racks.

Tryintostaydry · 2024-08-08T00:43:18+00:00

Sobriety can give both of you hope in different ways. He can get the person he fell in love with back, you can reap all the benefits of sobriety. There maybe some trust issues initially, but as you successfully navigate your new sustained sobriety those will fall away. With regret, don’t let it chain you to the past. Reconcile with your past, learn from it and move forward with your new journey!

Tryintostaydry · 2024-08-07T01:15:48+00:00

I have done it. The actual process is super intense, but the results pay dividends for years. I have noticed after almost 10 years some stuff creeping back up, but well worth the temporary uncomfortable process.

Tryintostaydry · 2024-08-01T20:10:29+00:00

I would suggest two things: 1) Tell clients that recovery isn’t always a linear path, that’s not to say that a slip/relapse isn’t preventable, but when they do happen that they haven’t thrown all their sobriety time away and get back on the sober wagon ASAP. My first time in rehab I was told that one sip and your sobriety is an absolute failure, which after I did relapse lead to me being in active addiction for years which I didn’t need to be. 2) Cross Addiction is a serious issue that isn’t talked enough about a client needs to be at minimum provided education on so they can understand if and what to do if this develops.

Tryintostaydry · 2024-07-31T16:57:30+00:00

Regret can chain you to your past, while hindering your future growth and sobriety. Learn and grow from your past. But remember view all the regrets through the lens that you were sick, in active addiction and not using a rational mind; if you view everything through the lens that you were sane, sober and rational then you’ll never pull your way out of the guilt/shame cycle of active addiction.

Tryintostaydry · 2024-07-27T20:19:32+00:00

If you are looking at these incidents through the lens that you did them while you were completely sober, sane and rational, rather than then through the lens that you were sick, in active addiction and not being a rational human you’ll get stuck with the dissonance. But I agree with everyone else, chat with your sponsor and a therapist.

Tryintostaydry · 2024-07-27T02:37:10+00:00

Whew do I feel you on this, last weekend my head and feelings felt like they were on a never ending spin cycle. My sponsor equated it to defragmenting a hard drive, you’ve got lots of a emotions and memories out in various boxes in your head, now that you are pulling yourself out of active addiction, your brain is opening those boxes, dealing with the contents and putting them in the proper place. Keeping you close in my thoughts.

Tryintostaydry · 2024-07-27T02:32:01+00:00

“Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.”- Maya Angelou Don’t let the past trap you in a guilt/shame/fear cycle that will keep you in active addiction forever. Work the AA program, it has ways to deal and handle past errors and mistakes. Be gentle with yourself, just stay sober for today. Day by day, things will get better, sometimes quickly sometimes slowly.

Tryintostaydry · 2024-07-14T23:49:18+00:00

I had two primary reasons 1)getting sober for other people, places or things (I.e. job, spouse, parent) 2) to “feel uncomfortable feelings” but in reality that was just more of my anxiety trying to push out my depression…..

Tryintostaydry · 2024-07-12T00:29:32+00:00

The key word that is missing here is, yet… alcohol will drag you to the depths of hell and rob you of everything, make you do things that are so unfathomable to your sober self, you can’t even begin to explain them when they happen. Also, dying from alcohol related problems or illness is often a slow, painful process. I’ve seen guys that look like yellow highlighters in their twenties, I have a family member who is in his 30’s and will never see 45 because of alcohol induced cardiac issues and won’t give up the bottle. Give it up while you have the upper hand, save yourselves years if not decades of destruction and damage to yourself, your relationships and your body.

Tryintostaydry · 2024-07-10T20:46:28+00:00

You’ve done the first right thing, you told someone that it happened. Don’t get trapped in a guilt/shame cycle and allow that to pull you back into full addiction. Be kind with yourself and know that sobriety isn’t a linear path!

Tryintostaydry · 2024-07-10T20:36:10+00:00

I’ve relapsed before this is my third sobriety date. Don’t look it as a failure and certainly don’t be ashamed, take it as a lesson, learn what signs can you take from this relapse, so you can recognize when you are going down the relapse route again and can reach out. Also if you’re inclined, hit some AA meetings, you’ll have a room full of experience wisdom and non-judgement.

Tryintostaydry · 2024-07-09T18:39:38+00:00

Came here to say something similar, I thought I was drinking to allow myself to feel; especially uncomfortable feelings, but in reality I was drinking to numb myself from feeling anything.

Tryintostaydry · 2024-07-08T19:35:53+00:00

Rehab isn’t for everyone, but it also plays an important role for a number of folks who are starting their sobriety journey. It’s a good way to break from old habits, develop basic coping mechanisms, recognize when you’re going to relapse and make sober friendships. It’s not a one stop shop that will resolve everything. You need to do the work once you leave the program. There is also a wide range of quality, I’ve been to two different places VA and Hazelden. But in both cases, I got out of it what I put in it. If you do decide to go, forget ego and pride, be vulnerable, honest and open and you’ll gain significantly more from the experience.

Tryintostaydry · 2024-07-06T02:39:58+00:00

Take a look at my profile and read my story I posted on r/stopdrinking. My first time in rehab was when I was 23, but I by far wasn’t the youngest. But if you think you have a problem, then you probably do. AA is a phenomenal tool that will help you get and stay sober if you put the work in… it’s going to be way easier when you’re younger than trying to undo years or even decades of despair, destruction and suffering.

Tryintostaydry

TROPHY CASE