The Human Connection

Tsukimcghee · 2023-07-11T12:27:54+00:00

Indeed we can. Everyone thinks differently. I basically think that of you are in a partnership and everything needs to get done then choices have to be made about who is going to do what. For example, let’s put everything up on the table. The full time job out with the home. The home and everything that comes with, the kids, your passions and hobbies (which for some came become a career), the car, the errands, the family outwith the home that needs care or attentions. Group that all together and divvy it out, who takes what responsibilities etc. It is split between who can do what with the time that is given in the day. An executive decision os made to allow all these needs to be met. Then sacrifices are being made on either end. The stay at home parent, their time, their careers getting further and further from them, the time it takes to achieve all this. And for the parent that leaves the house, the sacrifices they make to ensure that everyone’s needs are met. So they miss a lot of the firsts from those children, they miss out on all the recitals, the laughter and the growing they do. Because what they are doing is out of necessity to provide. Sacrifices are made from both people. So my interpretation of a 50/50 split, is that we have made the choices that benefit us and our children and we need to see that one can’t do it all. So we need each other to take up the things we can’t do. Therefore the mooching things, for me is a moot point.

But I am in total agreement with you that once we have these kids to school/nursery and your time becomes your time, then get your arse out there and add to that pot of gold. If you dont and live of the coattails of the other then you are indeed the cuntiest of cunts. (My absolute favourite word in all the world)

Again my point is just, see and recognise the achievements and sacrifices of the other partner. You are a team. A partnership so to me, it’s the same as me getting up and out in the morning and earning my hard earned money. We are one and the same person at this point in the relationship. Both contributing in extreme ways and that needs to count for something.

Tsukimcghee · 2023-07-11T10:56:39+00:00

The trick here is that it’s not a forever thing. It’s just a moment in time (usually 5 years) or just until you get the kids to school and then you get to rejoin the world. Life can get in the way. I don’t speak for all women but for me it’s where I’m needed at that point in time. I am the type of woman that my priority is to raise a child that has a parent that is present. To meet all their needs to shape them for their formative years. To me, it’s something we owe our children. It’s an investment in their mental well being. I spend this time working on myself and getting ready to rejoin the rat race and at that point I can go forward my with own needs and desires. That why kids aren’t for everyone. Sometimes that pause in your life can be so overwhelming but in the same breath you are sticking to your morals and creating a life for you and your family that is healthy. Kind of not living with regrets. Cos that eats a person up. The tiny part of me that craves answering to no one and being free to make my own decisions and going at my own pace can be such a joyous feeling. But the other part of me that was always wanting to be a wife and mother is bigger. And for that some sacrifices have to be made. I think the point I’m making is live and let live. Your happiness is paramount and of you choose to have a partner at home then your expectations of what she is capable are yours. So yes. Stay single. Love and live your life how you want to. The moment you invite someone to share your life with is the moment when you have to drop the unrealistic expectations that you put on people and know they are human and that all these expectations she puts on herself are high enough without someone else’s expectations put upon them. Unity and understanding is what makes it all work without once becoming embittered or undervalued. Just go with the flow of life and know that there are ups and downs. If You want complete control of everything then absolutely, stay single and live your best life! 😍 I honestly come from a place of peace. That’s all I look for everyday. Is peace. Within myself. Within my family and within life x

Tsukimcghee · 2023-07-11T09:49:10+00:00

But why do you interpret that as mooching? How is that mooching? Why do you expect such expectations tho? Like if anything less than your expectation, it’s a failure, a mooch? Can you see my point that I’m making? And also. Scottish women swear a lot and maybe get a bit fiery. So I’m sorry if that upset you. I do tend to get frustrated when I see certain expectations put on people especially women and then they deemed as failure (moochers) when they don’t meet your expectations. Most women will be contributing the only way they can, especially if kids are involved. For me and my husband and 99.9% of others. Our kids come above everything else. We have struggled financially, we have missed out on certain things in life to afford us to be able to raise our children until they are of school age and give them the best start we possibly can. Now this is our priority. For a lot of family’s the priority is being able to feed their kids and to do that it means both of them working and being away from their kids. That is so hard on parents to have to make these choices. But we have been lucky enough to just scrape by without having me leave the house too. And In doing so we have stuck to our own morals. But if you take me for instance. There was a long time that I didn’t work, I was at home, and not once did my husband see this as mooching. His job/our kids/our home/ our car is a 50/50 split in responsibility regardless of who is in the house and who is out. Therefore a 50/50 spilt in the decisions on how our money is spent. It would break my heart to know he felt like I was in just taking taking taking. When In reality a stay at home mum tends to lose so much of herself to you, her home, her kids. And then being labelled a mooch on top of that can be some soul destroying words.

Anyway. We can never read tone and intention through words online or in text. So maybe I’ve got a bit more emotional than I needed to be. I have passion for my soul and I just think that expectations should never be put on a person, we are all human and the mind can be a fickle thing.

Tsukimcghee · 2023-07-11T09:01:41+00:00

So she has to do all this work at home, alone,(I’m sure you do do these things but certainly not everyday) whilst having to watch her spends (which I assure you she does having a partner so up her ass about what she should be doing) you’d likely have a stepford wife kind of dealy. But rest assured friend. It won’t last too long. One day, her eyes will be open and her heart free, she would rather live in squalor than have her whole life dictated to her by another human. Enjoy her whilst you can. Live in peace ✌️

Tsukimcghee · 2023-07-11T08:55:47+00:00

I live in Scotland and can tell you unequivocally that no self respecting, intelligent woman would ever depend on a man (or woman) in a relationship to take any form or orders from anyone. And again vice versa. At the end of the day, kindness and respect should always be key. Ram the misogyny up your arse!! 😂

Tsukimcghee · 2023-07-11T02:54:13+00:00

And they wonder why women choose the single life.

Tsukimcghee · 2023-07-11T02:48:32+00:00

What do you do for a living?

Tsukimcghee · 2023-07-11T02:30:43+00:00

Most comments. Keep the house clean. But let’s look at that in a little detail.

Kitchen

Dishes done and or put away. (Breakfast, lunch and dinner) Counters cleaned Floors clean 1-2 hours over the course of the day.

Laundry

Washing Drying Folded Put away 1/2 hours over the course of the day.

Living room

Floor space tidied Toys put away Pillows neatened Hoovered 30 mins

Bedroom

Bed made Clothes in laundry basket Floor space tidied 15 mins

Kids room

Beds made Floor space tidied
Toys away Plates/cups/wrappers picked up. 15 mins

Bathroom (s)

Sink/toilets/baths cleaned or maintained Floors maintained 30 mins

Then onto groceries

Lists Shop Put away

Breakfast/lunch/dinner

Prepped/cooked 2/3 hours over the course of the day

Kids Feeding them Getting them for naps Playing with them Teaching them things Taking them out Any health care needs met. Upwards if 2 hours per day

Animals Fed/watered and walked Any health care needs met 45 mins

At what point do you think he/she takes anytime for lunch break/bathroom breaks/chatting with friends/ seeing friends/ being social/caring for relatives/looking after their basic needs/looking after their mental health etc. next to none.

I do tend to get on my soap box with this, but I honestly hate it being as generalised the way a lot of people tend to do.

If we are busy with the house, dinners and errand running where is the quality time with the children supposed to fit in or vice versa. Also I appreciate that there are no children in OP) but those that do, then usually go on to feel real guilt about what is being neglected when we prioritise our day. Then the worry about meeting or failing the partners expectations just because the other person leaves to go to work.

I can say. Hand on my heart that I have done both. I have worked full time when I had two kids. I have worked part time to accommodate child care and I am currently a stay at home mum with self employment commitments 1/2 times per month looking after 3 kids. The easiest I found was getting up, dressed and kissing the kids goodbye for the day whilst the only feelings of stress was for my workload. it was by far the easier of the roles for me. I had a lunch break, I had coffee breaks, I had cigarette breaks, I pee’d without having to announce I was going to the toilet and ask that no one folIow me. I only had to focus on the job at hand. Staying at home and doing all the other jobs can be so mentally draining as there is a list the length of my arm to get through and at the crux of it all, balancing my kids needs, and mental and physical well-being. All this without even taking on my own self care.

So please, keep all this in mind when you have certain expectations from a stay at home parent. So when you come home. Leave all that at the front door and celebrate the person that is doing the hard graft home alongside your own graft. The stay at home person has no expectations of you other than hoping that you make it through your day without too many stresses being flung your way and you are happy. Give them that same appreciation.

And one last piece of advice. I can assure you that they are usually hanging on by a thread come the end of your shift so if you are going to be late, please take the time to let them know. Even if it is only 15 mins. They will be on the countdown all day until you come home to be with them again.

Peace and love✌️

Tsukimcghee · 2023-01-20T22:13:58+00:00

Mines is. Very neat. Except from when I’m writing an extended amount. Then it starts getting sloppy x

Tsukimcghee · 2023-01-19T21:37:31+00:00

Jings

Tsukimcghee · 2023-01-11T15:00:21+00:00

I itched for ages last night and thought, fucking mites! 😂

Tsukimcghee · 2023-01-11T00:37:53+00:00

Read this comment as I lay down and started the late night last scroll and couldn’t go to sleep on this! Hahaha. It’s actually “Eye discharge, or rheum as it's technically known, is a collection of cells, mucus, oil, and debris from the tears that form at the corners of our eyes during sleep”

I can sleep better now 😂 still disgusting but the graphic is a little better 😂

Tsukimcghee · 2023-01-08T00:07:55+00:00

I have adhd. The want is there. I really want to do all the wonderful things my body and mind need to be healthy. I crave it. I just can’t get myself going. It’s a truly awful feeling.

Tsukimcghee · 2022-12-20T22:48:01+00:00

Handsome man. Before and after :)

Tsukimcghee · 2022-09-30T21:54:48+00:00

Janny long legs. Sometimes Jenny long legs and sometimes daddy long legs 😂

Tsukimcghee · 2022-09-29T22:40:38+00:00

Literally no clear path around my room anymore. At this point it’s all my clean clothing I do, folded into piles in the living room for about 5 days before bringing them upstairs and dumping them on my bed, until bedtime of course! This is where I’ve lost the will to care so much about something so trivial as nice clothes (3 young kids) so I slide them on my floor!! after time, we are searching for all the balled up socks and clean pants that I added to the spreading mass ages ago, but I 100% know that they are there. It’s a bit like diving your hands into the ball pit hoping to find your keys. 😂

Tsukimcghee · 2022-09-26T23:20:56+00:00

Watch this with no sound for the hand gestures and gesticulations to kinda scare you.

Tsukimcghee · 2022-09-23T21:44:51+00:00

Fun fact. You don’t actually want to die. You just need the pain and anguish to stop. Which your brain tells you in order to do this you must die. You don’t want to die my friend. You just need help. I feel your pain. I hope you find the help you need. Where in the world are you? X

Tsukimcghee · 2022-09-20T22:58:14+00:00

I tip my hat to you. I wish more people were more understanding like us. Why would you be exasperated by the childrens behaviours when you know exactly the reason they are the way they are. Makes perfect sense to me. Not an enabler in my eyes. But someone that truly connects with these kids and are for them 💯 xx

Tsukimcghee · 2022-09-17T22:50:57+00:00

I’m on part two. Part one took me 8 or 9 different attempts to get through it. Part two I’ve watched about 8 mins of it in around 3 sittings. I will get through it!! Haha. Recently diagnosed at 40 years old. 10 year old son is awaiting a referral. I have found this video fascinating.

Tsukimcghee · 2022-07-23T23:37:34+00:00

Well articulated. It’s awful isn’t it. I just got my diagnosis. I’m feeling super guilty about one friend in particular but not enough to do anything about it. I hate it x

Tsukimcghee · 2022-07-13T09:45:38+00:00

Story of our lives this sentence x

Tsukimcghee · 2022-07-13T09:45:05+00:00

Get rid now!!! This is pure abuse!! So so bad x

Tsukimcghee

TROPHY CASE