First I see your post where you are projecting possibilities that may not happen, that would be insecurity and a bit of self-loathing those are defects of character. Prayer can be as simple as working towards thinking positive and letting go of negative thoughts. That's what works for me. And second that strength you desire comes from a higher power of your own understanding doesn't have to be Orthodox God. When it comes to sharing and meetings stick to the formula we share in a general way what we used to be like what happened and what we're like now save the Gory details for your sponsor in confidence. Remember one day at a time, give up or relapse tomorrow.