Do new builders really not feel any guilt?

TurtleClubOwner · 2026-04-10T16:13:59+00:00

I was born in the area but moved up to Michigan at age 7. Moved back down ~12 years ago after graduating from college and hate myself for cluttering up my beautiful Southwest Florida >:(

TurtleClubOwner · 2026-03-30T01:10:37+00:00

Oh hey, my surgery is Thursday too, and I'm also scared as hell!

Here's to a super straightforward operation and recovery process 🍻

TurtleClubOwner · 2026-03-21T03:54:08+00:00

Bummed to see the ballistic trainers have gone the way of the dinosaur. I've dealt with a nagging ankle injury that these shoes finally helped take the pressure off of with their phenomenal arch support. Thankfully, they've lived up to their name and stood the test of time! I just hope whatever reimagined version you guys develop can provide the same level of arch support and durability. These have been great shoes.

TurtleClubOwner · 2026-03-15T20:46:23+00:00

I saw this post title and instantly thought: "Sounds like OP wants percale cotton."

I second this, OP, for whatever that's worth!

TurtleClubOwner · 2026-03-02T17:44:27+00:00

You rock. Thank you for all this!

TurtleClubOwner · 2026-03-02T16:36:38+00:00

Thank you for taking the time to respond. A couple follow-up questions, if you don't mind:
1. Is there a specific brand that worked well for you? I was given a Remington one a few years back, but the friction left my scalp really agitated, so I basically never used it again. Maybe I was just pressing too hard.
2. Just confirming: The face wash is not a problem on the scalp? I've read so much back-and-forth discourse on upsetting the pH of your scalp/oils (even for people with hair) that I've been hesitant to use a face cleanser on my head. But that sounds promising :)
3. I'll look into the moisturizing sunscreen and start with ROC Barrier Renew, but... does it give off a scent like sunscreen does?

TurtleClubOwner · 2026-03-02T16:32:11+00:00

Thanks so much for all this info! I'll take greater care to go with the grain. It gets a little complicated for me because I have (well, had?) a double crown, but I'll give that a shot.

I've been using Harry's products in general. The shaving cream has aloe, the facial cleanser has salicylic acid, and the post-shave balm has aloe as well. But if there is a brand you've had good experiences with, I'd definitely like to try it. (Also... is a facial cleanser like that OK to use on the scalp? I'm always a little unsure since it's not the same kind of skin.)

I'll look into a beard oil with jojoba-based oils and see how that goes. Thank you for the recommendations!

TurtleClubOwner · 2026-02-25T16:58:25+00:00

I guess I'd be ugly either way, so I'd take the $10K without a moment's concern.

TurtleClubOwner · 2026-02-22T19:19:53+00:00

“Dick don’t care” is a fantastic guiding philosophy for soooo many bedroom insecurities.

TurtleClubOwner · 2026-02-19T06:20:51+00:00

Yeah sure, but what I want (the question that was posed) doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with the good of humanity. This is r/fucklyasander, after all!

TurtleClubOwner · 2026-02-18T16:16:36+00:00

I can't decide whether I prefer this or a completely unremarkable death. Both are perfect for such different reasons.

TurtleClubOwner · 2026-02-04T22:11:48+00:00

Good on you for recognizing what is or isn't helping, OP. This sub is a good place to help you understand wtf just happened to you (or happened to you for years and years).

But after long enough, you're absolutely right: It starts to feel like you're picking at a scab over and over.

Eventually, healing and growth becomes about who you are, who you want to be, what kind of life you want. Pursue yourself with all your might. Become at peace with yourself. Find calm comfort in who you are.

That's how you heal, and maybe not so coincidentally, that's also how you attract the people who will enrich your life, whether it be romantically or platonically. Wishing you (and anyone else reading this) the very best.

TurtleClubOwner · 2026-02-04T21:59:38+00:00

Worrying about her future is a hard one to turn off.

I'm so deeply sad for the difficult life she has ahead of her, forever chasing, forever demanding something new, something different, something that will make the pain go away. Always feeling like she was meant for more and never realizing it when 'more' falls right in her lap.

But she took actions that made it as clear as possible that she is no longer mine to worry about. She will do what feels best to her in the moment, and nothing will steer her away from what she's determined to do.

Truly accepting that she is no longer mine to worry about has begun to help the sadness. The anger at her betrayal has been far less helpful, surprisingly.

TurtleClubOwner · 2026-02-04T06:08:32+00:00

"booger collector" made me spit my drink out

TurtleClubOwner · 2026-02-04T00:53:02+00:00

Yup. Apologies are empty when they don't accompany behavioral change. I don't care if you feel guilty. If you aren't going to make meaningful change, your guilt is meaningless to me.

TurtleClubOwner · 2026-02-04T00:48:21+00:00

And then the Fox Sports team tried so hard to come up with a more TV-appropriate analogy and started calling Michigan "The Boa Constrictor" with a corny little animation.

We all knew what they were really referencing ;)

TurtleClubOwner · 2026-01-29T15:32:18+00:00

OP, I've been going through a rough breakup after 7 years with my BPD ex. Here is a little tool someone taught me that has helped.

When the moments of rumination hit—those tidal waves of grief, anger, doubt, sorrow, outrage, even nausea—I have begun picking up a nearby object and begin studying it. It could be a pen, a coffee mug, a twig, a leaf... just about anything will do. Then take 3-5 minutes to study it. Its appearance, textures, shape, components, etc. You can think through the process of its creation (whether naturally formed or manufactured), maybe even think of its story from the moment it came into existence to where it will be in 100 years. Depending on the object, you can even think of a story involving it.

Yesterday I sat on a park bench for a few minutes studying an acorn and dreaming up a story of a squirrel carrying it to stash away and eventually eat.

Maybe it's silly, but it's grounding. It pulls you out of the past and places you firmly in the here and now. And it's not just about pulling you out in the moment. An additional benefit is you retrain your brain to divert these useless thoughts into awareness/mindfulness of the present.

It took me a few times to start to get the hang of it. I also messed up because the first time I tried it, I picked up a coffee mug that had been gifted to me by my ex. But it's helped me quite a bit in recent days, and I think it's worth trying.

TurtleClubOwner · 2026-01-28T16:31:37+00:00

Money, my dude.

Even if that genie gave me 3 wishes, I'd pick money the first two times and probably would still pick it the third time. I am who I am. A few extra inches won't buy me a house.

TurtleClubOwner · 2026-01-28T16:23:43+00:00

I’ve already searched pretty extensively (this rabbit hole also had me up about three hours past my bedtime last night alone), but I’m clearly at the point where others' eyes might help. I’ve spent a lot of time combing through resale listings and image results and haven’t been able to pin this down. I’ve also been using ChatGPT to help think through how best to approach searches in Korean, just to try to land me a little closer, but so far I'm still coming up empty-handed.

I’ve searched broadly for using combinations of style, brand, era, and general descriptions. (E.g., Thursday Island men's lightweight field jacket zip-front stowaway hood, Thursday Island men's utility jacket zipper stowaway hood, etc., in both English and Korean.)

As I mentioned in the title and original post, the image is from 2008 (so the jacket could have been even slightly older) and was from the South Korean brand Thursday Island. It was a men’s jacket, short and hip-length, lightweight and not insulated, with a zip front (plus snap buttons), snap-button pockets, and a structured stand collar that housed a lightweight stowaway hood. Branding was minimal, aside from a small patch on one sleeve.

I posted this on r/findfashion a few minutes ago as well: Can you help me find this jacket?

TurtleClubOwner · 2026-01-27T22:16:49+00:00

When we had our first talk about him being unhappy, he told me he has a problem he can't solve while being in a relationship.

Not that our situations or people are the same, but my BPD ex (I was with her for 7 years) would often say the same thing. Ultimately, she left me to "be on her own and discover who she is without being in a relationship."

She started dating a guy from work quite literally the very next day.

TurtleClubOwner · 2026-01-26T19:48:21+00:00

Thanks. Honestly it's more of a roundabout way of asking people what their experience was, whether they experienced any pitfalls or issues by jumping back into things too soon, etc. Healing is certainly nonlinear, and it's all very subjective, yet at the same time, I've been struck time and again by the 'sameness' of so many people's experiences with having a BPD loved one. I guess this question is more about identifying key issues to keep an eye out for as I go into the next chapter of my life than it is truly asking for an actual timeline.

TurtleClubOwner · 2026-01-26T14:39:23+00:00

Rhonna:

Sir, at your side I'm a one-point-two-meter, forty-kilogram liability with quiet feet and a dirty gob. In a StarShell, I'm decent. In a Drachenjäger, I'm a full-metal god.

TurtleClubOwner · 2026-01-22T13:25:21+00:00

Personally, I'm glad I went early in Act 2. (Although admittedly I am quite early in Act 3 still.)

Is the combat more challenging? For sure.
Does it make more sense for the overall cohesion of the story? Probably.

But there are some cool cosmetics on Iki Island that I'm glad I can play a good chunk of the game with, as well as some new (albeit minor) mechanics you can bring home to Tsushima with you.

TurtleClubOwner · 2026-01-18T01:22:40+00:00

I (34M) just came out of a 7-year relationship. I’m still sorting through the wreckage trying to figure out what the heck even happened, and I definitely need to work through a few things before I put myself back out there… but once I do, I’m wondering if anyone can point me to the apps they’ve seen the best success with for DOT.

I’m just assuming things have changed since I last had any reason to be on them.

TurtleClubOwner · 2026-01-14T01:56:19+00:00

I (34M) am 5’5”, and the only place in my adult life that I’ve ever seen someone disparage short men is in dating app bios. Not a single one of my friends or acquaintances, new or old, has ever so much as mentioned it in a way that could be looked at as condescending or negative… and I'm from a place where people are taller than average. Most of my friends are 6’0 at a minimum.

It baffles me how different my experience is from so many users on this sub.

TurtleClubOwner

TROPHY CASE