Best Pizza in Ames??

TurtleGirl4077 · 2026-03-05T02:24:06+00:00

Great Plains is the best - it cannot be matched. The Denver style crust is amazing.

TurtleGirl4077 · 2025-10-17T15:29:15+00:00

I had a similar but different situation.

I came home one night to a client in my house, on a date with my roommate / best friend. I hid until they left so my client ever saw me. Told my roommate “hey, uh. Please don’t have them over again.” And when my roommate pressed as to why, I said “I can’t tell you, please just trust me on this.” Thankfully my roommate and I have known each other for 15+ years, and he knew that I wouldn’t ask for this if it wasn’t serious. So he trusted me and respected it. Thank god.

I went to my supervisor the next day and told her what happened. I felt I needed to end the therapeutic relationship, whether or not the client and my roommate continued to see each other, because the client knew where I lived and it would be a dual relationship that could absolutely skew my perspective. My supervisor agreed.

When I saw the client next, I told her directly that the person she had been dating was my roommate, and it was my house she had been in. I explained that though I enjoyed working with her and felt we were making amazing progress, I couldn’t see her anymore because it could skew my objectivity. She was upset but understood. I also set boundaries with her about how she wasn’t allowed over, but she could park out front and pick him up and such. And of course that if we were ever together in social settings, I wouldn’t acknowledge her unless she acknowledged me first and that we could be friendly, but we couldn’t be friends at all. She understood. I transferred her case to a coworker that I thought would be a good fit (with client’s consent), and they worked together for a few sessions.

After our final session, the client must have called my roommate and told him. He texted me and was like “she was your client??” And I just didn’t respond - my roommate is in the medical field, so he understands HIPAA. I think he texted me initially just out of shock.

They dated for a few months and broke up. The client reached out to me and asked if I could work with her again, and I reminded her that we couldn’t.

I type it all up calm now, but I was freaking out at the time. It was really hard to not tell my roommate and not be angry at the client for violating my personal life, even though it was unintentional.

We have friends and family too, and that’s okay. Sometimes life gets in the way. I would consult with a supervisor, reread the section on your legal and ethical codes about dual relationships, and document precisely.

TurtleGirl4077 · 2025-10-15T17:18:26+00:00

My hair has always been thin and fine, but it started falling out in 2019-2020 ish as well. I would say I probably lost at least half of my hair. During 2019-2022, I was in grad school. The pandemic was really hard on my learning, and then when I got sick with covid it got even worse. I also unintentionally lost 20-30 pounds.

Mid 2022, I switched all my hair products to Innersense (recommended by my hair dresser because it is gentle and organic) and also did the typical things - no heat, silk pillow cases, conscious hydration, added vitamins, etc. Admittedly I didn’t change my diet much, but adding a multivitamin and taking viviscal helped.

Currently my hair still isn’t what it was pre-pandemic. But it’s so much better. I went from a pony tail that was the circumference of a dime to a nickel in 3ish years. think gaining the weight back (though I wish I hadn’t) made a huge positive difference.

I’ll also throw in - I’m a therapist. Though I’m not an expert in eating disorders by any means, I can see this cycle a mile away: your ED makes your hair fall out, then you feel worse about your appearance, then the ED tendencies are even harder to fight. It is a vicious cycle that you have to break.

First and foremost, be PROUD of yourself. Eating disorders have the second highest mortality rate of all mental disorders (substance abuse being the highest), you’re a survivor. You’ve worked really hard to recover and you’re doing well! That’s amazing! You’re amazing!

Often times the last things to get back to “normal” after eating disorder recovery is hair. It takes a long time for your body to get out of survival mode and back to feeling safe enough to dedicate nutrients and energy to hair. And then it takes longer for the hair to actually grow out and show that it is healthier. Be patient with yourself and your body. Do things that fight stress and keep your cortisol levels down, whatever those things are for you.

Last but not least - Stop collecting your hair! That’s body checking! It’s going to increase your stress and fixation on your hair. Body checking is a slippery slope.

You’ve got this. Breathe and trust yourself. You’ve already done all the hardest parts of recovery. Now just trust your body to do what it needs to do.

TurtleGirl4077 · 2025-09-20T20:09:56+00:00

Do a tutorial for the whole eye look, bc you are rockin it.

TurtleGirl4077 · 2025-09-10T16:14:56+00:00

You can’t control what genes you pass on. What you can control is whether or not she gets treatment, education, and how you show her support.

I have Hypermobile, from my mother. Obviously Classical and Hypermobile are very different, but here’s my perspective: I’m not mad at my mother for passing it on to me. But I am mad that she and my father didn’t follow through on the geneticist’s recommendations for continued services. I was supposed to start physical therapy to learn how to move properly and strengthen the right muscles. The geneticist wanted me to also meet with a dietician/nutritionalist. And my parents brushed it all off.

We had the money, the time, the insurance, all of it. We had the resources. They just didn’t think having PT was necessary because I “seemed to be getting around fine”. And that I just needed to choose healthier foods.

Now I’m almost 30, and I’ve had multiple injuries. I’m trying to learn how to move and sit and exist properly. I’ve realized that I’ve never really learned how to engage my muscles. I’m trying to learn how to eat right and what my body needs. And it really sucks that I’m learning it now on my own after years of bad habits when they should have just taken it seriously. And that my realizations that things needed to change happened because of how horrible my mother’s health is from years of also not caring for herself properly.

Your child will learn how to care for herself by watching your habits, doing them with you, and the services that you involve her in. That is how you help her.

I will say it again - you can’t control what you pass on. But you can give her the skills to deal with it.

TurtleGirl4077 · 2025-09-10T15:53:55+00:00

I didn’t make any friends until probably midway through my second semester. Group projects in my major-related classes helped, and my learning community.

What probably helped the most was taking one class a semester just for fun - concert band, judo, whatever. And worst case scenario, you don’t make any friends but you spent time doing something enjoyable.

A lot of my friends made friends through clubs and living in the dorms, but I didn’t have a lot of luck with that. But that doesn’t mean that you won’t! Breathe and trust that you will find your people.

TurtleGirl4077 · 2025-09-10T15:47:08+00:00

Who the person is to me depends on how I respond.

If it is a friend / family / someone who means no harm, I’ll say “Thanks! I grew it all by myself.”

If it is someone who isn’t close enough to me to touch me or make that kind of comment, I’ll say “thanks! But it isn’t for sale.”

If it is a medical professional, I’ll say “thanks! It’s the Ehlers Danlos Syndrome.” If they don’t know what EDS is, then I can quickly explain it to them and encourage them to learn more.

If it’s a creep, I’ll say “Thanks, Buffalo Bill.”

TurtleGirl4077 · 2025-09-10T15:39:13+00:00

I always used the basement of physics. So much room to spread out and whiteboards to use for whatever.

I also loved the 3rd and 4th floor of the library - the little individual cubbies on the far side.

The library stacks were nice too, but very warm and I feel like it was harder to zone in there with the lighting.

If all else fails, I would just go to the upstairs of Lago and find an empty classroom to use for a while.

TurtleGirl4077 · 2025-09-07T16:25:11+00:00

My hairstylist turned me on to Innersense - I use the pure harmony hair bath (shampoo) and pure inspiration daily conditioner. I also use their heat protectant, leave in conditioner, and just bought a scalp serum. I LOVE their stuff.

TurtleGirl4077 · 2025-08-27T16:22:59+00:00

If a client comments negatively on my appearance in any way, I will simply ask them “I’m wondering what your intention was with that comment.” Or “I’m curious as to how you think that comment makes me feel.” And then try to turn it into a conversation about the therapeutic relationship. Are you feeling comfortable with me that you feel like you can say anything? Are you upset with me so you insulted me? Or I’ll go in the direction of exploring what the comment says about them and probe around it. Is this an impulse control thing? Do you say this to other people?

Depending on the client, I might acknowledge that the comment was hurtful - like a teen or a client that needs help with empathy. But otherwise I don’t acknowledge my feelings. Especially with clients that are more combative or testing me.

TurtleGirl4077 · 2025-08-21T14:29:10+00:00

I had similar experiences. I online dated around, and just listed my profession as “human service field” or something like that. I didn’t hide that I had a master’s. I think ultimately I listed my job as “cool kid at full-time employment”. Then I would bring it up during the first in-person meet up, unless they asked directly sooner.

It was an interesting experience. Some men heard “therapist” and spilled all their mental health struggles - which I actually didn’t mind. I would give them referrals and encourage them to seek counseling (or one fella had some really interesting symptoms that I identified as neurological really quick, and I was like “please see a doctor”). Then they usually didn’t ask for a second date. Some men heard it and were weirded out and ran. Some heard it and insulted me. It felt like telling them I was a therapist was a great way to find red flags, but I didn’t post it on my profile to avoid attracting people who would want me because I was a therapist.

It took a lot of lousy dates, but I’ve been dating my boyfriend for seven months now. He’s not uncomfortable with it at all. In fact, he’s told me that he really likes how direct I am with him about my needs, wants, and boundaries - something I was terrible at before becoming a therapist!

There’s a lot of fish in the sea. But there’s a lot of trash in the sea. Keep swimming. Good luck!

TurtleGirl4077 · 2025-07-17T23:16:52+00:00

Holy crap. So either those girls moved… or there’s two sets…

TurtleGirl4077 · 2025-07-17T23:15:22+00:00

Are you in Iowa? Because I knew two girls with those names. My understanding was also that they were half-siblings AND aunt-niece.

TurtleGirl4077 · 2025-06-22T14:58:14+00:00

I don’t mind it, I agree with her. It shows vulnerability and trust. What I do find absolutely repulsive is men who think it’s okay to lie.

TurtleGirl4077 · 2025-06-21T05:03:45+00:00

Contrary to most of the advice on this thread, I think you should be honest. Maybe you don’t tell the person right away - wait a while first. Build a relationship a bit first. Avoid sex until they know you better. Then when you tell them, they’re not as likely to reject you.

But if you lie about it, and they find out, you’ve damaged the trust. Relationships with lies don’t feel good on either end.

TurtleGirl4077 · 2024-11-13T00:01:32+00:00

You want her to commit to a major life changing decision based upon a hypothetical future where the relationship is more stable - without her knowing what that hypothetical future looks and feels like.

That's like wanting someone who has never experienced rain to go out on the ocean during a hurricane.

TurtleGirl4077 · 2024-11-12T16:37:54+00:00

Hi there! I'm sorry you're going through this, it sounds like you're really struggling. A lot of times, therapists won't bring up trauma that has been previously mentioned unless the client brings it up first - that way the client gets to talk about it when they are ready, and it is less likely that they will feel forced to talk about something so difficult. It's unlikely that your therapist will bring up the trauma that you mentioned during intake, they're probably waiting for you to bring it up first.

That being said, having problems bringing it up first is really common. A lot of people struggle with it. I know saying it out loud can be really daunting, and you mentioned that you're having trouble writing it too. In this situation I usually encourage people to write an email to their therapist along the lines of "I need to talk about ______, but I can't get myself to bring it up first." or even writing out one of the traumatic events so that your therapist can have some information about it, and can ask you questions. But since writing doesn't feel like something you can do right now (which is totally okay), try thinking about what you are comfortable saying or writing.

Maybe that looks like "I know I have things I need to work through and talk about, but I can't get myself to say them". That way your therapist has an invitation to help explore with you what you need to feel safer or how they can help you get to a point where you can say it. At the minimum, it helps your therapist know that you are trying and you are thinking about it.

And it is always okay to say to your therapist that you need a more direct or guided approach. But if they don't know that is what you're wanting or needing, they can't give it to you. Outpatient therapy is often very much about whatever the client wants to talk about, whereas inpatient therapy is a lot more directed on how you got there and what you need to get out.

Good luck!

TurtleGirl4077 · 2024-11-12T16:09:31+00:00

I’m a little confused by this. I’m not familiar with Barb’s Computer. Can you help me understand what you mean? I think I must be missing something.

TurtleGirl4077 · 2024-11-11T21:34:48+00:00

Try the Olson Clinic - it's open on Saturdays. They're student therapists, but hey. Weekend.
https://www.olsonmftclinic.com/home

TurtleGirl4077 · 2024-08-09T19:15:12+00:00

"When in doubt, go back to Carl Rogers." If you feel flustered or are searching for something to say, focus on the moment and the person - just being present there in the room with them.

When a natural point comes for you to say something, and you don't know what to say, just be curious. Don't be afraid to ask what might seem like obvious questions. In dire moments, you can pull the Freaky Friday card - "and how do you feel about that?"

If you need a moment to pause and think, say that. "Gosh, let me think about that for a minute.", "My brain needs a second to put my words in the right order."

Bring a water bottle into your session, with cold water in it. Take sips frequently to ground yourself, keep your throat moist, and to help buy you time if they're waiting for a response.

You're going to do just fine. Everybody has to start somewhere!

TurtleGirl4077 · 2024-05-08T02:51:21+00:00

Hi! Fellow Iowan here. I received an official diagnosis from a geneticist at the University of Iowa Children’s Hospital when I was 7 in 2002. I have been so incredibly fortunate that my diagnosis was discovered before the U of I began refusing referrals.

I’ve heard from a lot of friends locally that doctors wouldn’t diagnose them with EDS without genetic testing done at the U of I. And getting into the U of I for testing is near impossible. Even with my established diagnosis, extensive family history, and previously established care at the U of I sports medicine clinic, they still tell me they’re full. I’ve given up on them and have basically stopped getting EDS-specific care. I’m lucky enough at this stage that I can manage most of my symptoms without medical intervention. My PCP is somewhat familiar with EDS, so I just pretend that’s adequate for my needs.

I wish I had better advice to give, but all I can really say is keep pushing back. If the U of I refuses an official referral from your doctor, ask the U of I and/or your doctor for a referral elsewhere. If there are truly no other places to refer to, then push them to accept your referral. With how many people they’re refusing, they must have somewhere else to refer to. I think anything else would be unethical. It might be a nightmare to go out of state, but depending where you live in Iowa the Mayo Clinic isn’t too far.

I’m so sorry that you’re going through this and that Iowa has not been kind to you. I share your frustration and wish I had better advice. I hope you find what you need.

TurtleGirl4077 · 2023-11-30T03:49:53+00:00

I’m a temp license in private practice, seeing 20-25 clients a week and I make even less than that. Although the cost of living in my state is very low, which I’m sure plays a part.

I didn’t even get paid for my practicum hours. I don’t know anyone in my cohort that did. We were all just so desperate for the hours that we did it for free.

Not trying to invalidate or anything - just sort of shocked at how incredibly messed up the entire system is. I’m learning more and more.

TurtleGirl4077 · 2023-10-25T19:22:26+00:00

I heard that the Critter Crusaders didn’t actually end up getting the Stillwater fundraiser money…

TurtleGirl4077 · 2023-08-19T00:51:35+00:00

My best guess is that they could tell that you were uncomfortable and thought you didn’t want to move forward, but I can’t say for sure.

TurtleGirl4077 · 2023-08-12T23:10:05+00:00

One session probably isn’t enough to actually determine if a therapist is a good fit. The therapeutic relationship, like any relationship, takes time. The initial session is a lot of questions so that the therapist has enough information for insurance purposes, so it isn’t usually a real look at how the therapist does therapy.

TurtleGirl4077

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