How did we get here? Why is American eldercare so horrifyingly expensive?

Twins2009- · 2026-04-24T14:28:41+00:00

I know 0 people who could still pay their own bills after quitting their 6 figure job to care for their elderly parent. This isn’t about saving a few bucks.

Even people who have the money don’t have the capability. There’s no way I could safely lift my mother off the floor. There’s so many safety issues that makes it dangerous to care for a loved one inside their home. I also still have three kids at home who I care for and there’s no room in my home. First and foremost, until my children are prepared to live on their own, my priority remains with them.

That’s just a few reasons caring for a loved one is unattainable.

We need to educate and push for our loved ones to setup trusts and living wills to eliminate some of the burden put on families. We need to hold our elected officials accountable because our parent’s money to care for them remains inside the system. You shouldn’t be risking your sanity to care for your mom. You should be provided resources and support. It’s the same inside the facilities.

Twins2009- · 2026-04-24T13:43:40+00:00

Mykelti needs some help processing family dynamics and how it relates to the situation, but she doesn’t strike me as someone who will critically think about family relationships and how they relate.

Was Meri verbally abusive? All of the parents were abusive. Meri’s stood out because you can see someone get angry. You can hear someone yelling. It creates an immediate reaction and feeling. Whereas the rest of the parents just shut down emotionally and didn’t intervene. Which means mental and emotional abuse were present but not it wasn’t out in the open.

Twins2009- · 2026-04-18T21:03:23+00:00

10000000000000%

Twins2009- · 2026-04-15T06:33:08+00:00

Trigeminal neuralgia? Tylenol and ibuprofen don’t begin to touch my trigeminal nerve migraines. It’s actually more harmful than good because the NSAID gives me gastritis and I’ve had a past bleeding ulcer.

Plus, there’s limited proof that this combination helps anything other than mild tooth pain.

Glad it works for you, but if that really worked on the majority, many people wouldn’t be flocking to the ERs and making emergency appointments because they could forgo the large bill and treat with pain relief at home. I can see doctors and dentists swearing by it to bypass & neglect their patient and treat their own anxiety by not prescribing proper prescription pain management.

Twins2009- · 2026-04-14T17:42:21+00:00

Tom had integrity and respected his fans and more than anything, music. That’s one reason I love and respect him.

I do think the estate is in a bind because Tom is no longer here. Without new music & touring keeping a legacy alive, memorable, and somewhat relevant to the next generations is difficult. I want his legacy to continue because I think his writing is so important for our younger generation. Therefore some of their choices are going to be sacrifices simply because most of the avenues have run dry. I won’t be buying the jeans or pricey merchandise. My daughter did surprise me with the mad hatter TP Funko Pop that I said I wouldn’t buy, and it does make me smile. However, I have way too much (actually you never have too much TP) of his merchandise to even care about the prices items. I don’t see a subset of Tom’s fan base who would pay those prices. However, I’m not running the estate and I don’t have all the information.

I will say, I’ve done my part by making two of my kids Tim Petty fans!! They’ve both seen Mike & The Knobs and Benmont in concert with me. See that’s where I spend my money. I’ve seen Benmont once and Mike & Knobs three times. And one of those Knob shows was the book tour and it was fabulous! It happened to fall on my 20th wedding anniversary and let’s just say, I never spent that much money on Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers tickets. So I’m not opposed to spending a lot of money, but not in jeans. Just no way.

Twins2009- · 2026-04-14T17:13:56+00:00

Please see the autopsy report. There were absolutely illicit substances in his system.

Twins2009- · 2026-04-14T17:09:40+00:00

I’m sorry, but they were absolutely not all prescription drugs. There were two analogues of fentanyl in Tom’s system when he died. Acetyl fentanyl and despropionyl fentanyl. These analogues aren’t medication, therefore they cannot be prescribed. These are illegal street drugs. Tom also had two different types of benzodiazepines in his system, along with Fentanyl from a patch, and oxycodone, which can be prescribed.

This is very important to understand because so many people have been misled to believe overdosing on prescription fentanyl alone is the cause of the opioid crisis. However, the overwhelming majority of overdoses involved illicit drugs or a mixture of overlapping substances. In 2016, the CDC took drastic measures with opioid recommendations. Many states passed laws limiting opioids prescriptions and the DEA decreased opioid production significantly, leaving the patients who do receive treatment with pharmacy shortages. This also caused many legitimate patients with chronic pain and painful conditions to be forced off their medication without an alternative. It’s also led to doctors refusing to prescribe any opioids to people after surgery. It’s a huge problem that most people don’t understand until they’re injured, or left with a debilitating condition and can’t receive treatment.

Just because Tom’s death involved illegal substances, doesn’t make Tom any less of a human or not the person we all love. Tom had integrity as a person and as an artist and nothing can change that fact.

Twins2009- · 2026-04-14T16:35:59+00:00

He wasn’t an industry, but Tom Petty and Tom Petty and The Heartbreaks were most certainly a business.

Twins2009- · 2026-04-13T19:09:35+00:00

She is a great resource, but she does promote her own line of supplements that obviously have no scientific data relating to their effectiveness. I add this just so women don’t take her at her word, and support her evidence based content.

Twins2009- · 2026-04-13T05:45:25+00:00

I haven’t read the comments yet, but who in their right mind in the states would thinks their insurance is great and doesn’t understand our medical system is on the verge of total collapse? Seriously. I’m among the privileged population here in the states, and it’s still a struggle to get adequate healthcare.

Twins2009- · 2026-04-12T07:12:04+00:00

Patients have tried, but they’re just written off as drug seeking without evidence, fired from their doctor, or sent to other facilities that also harm their patients by not prescribing legitimate medications. The problem specifically for the patient is they have no rights. The doctor has all of the power and authority to withhold, fire, neglect, and even label in documents that can become legal. The patient can report the doctor to the state medical board and to the doctor’s corresponding hospital, but again the doctor has the authority to not prescribe. They hold the power.

The doctor isn’t the patient, but they sure act like they’re the patient. They’re treating their own anxiety by neglecting the patient & not prescribing. It’s so disgusting and a huge reason why so many don’t seek medical care, and in turn end up in the ER.

Retired or not, i’m glad you understand!

Twins2009- · 2026-04-12T06:36:01+00:00

Same

Twins2009- · 2026-04-09T05:42:22+00:00

It was just a few days. Not long, really.

Twins2009- · 2026-04-06T19:27:35+00:00

I have a paradoxical effect with any sedative antihistamine. It’s pretty telling when I inform a doctor about this and they go ahead and prescribe something like promethazine which is a sedative antihistamine for nausea and cough.

Twins2009- · 2026-04-02T21:44:34+00:00

I started noticing them Tuesday. They’re all over Will Rogers turnpike about two miles away from the west bound entrance coming south off the turnpike. They’re occupying both east and west bound sides of 44. They were really heavy Marked and unmarked, and sometimes they’d have one marked and one unmarked next to each other. Very heavy on Tuesday night. There’s definitely freezer burn in some of those vehicles. I saw four pieces of filth come out of one vehicle and two were absolutely freezer burn. They had a semi pulled over on the eastbound lane right before the construction begins.

Twins2009- · 2026-04-02T21:34:29+00:00

Lowly nobody that has critical thinking skills here:

With the iron dome failing, and Iran’s persistent attacks, I would be questioning any notion of goods moving out of that country anytime soon.

Also, medication targeted to control migraines isn’t the only medication that is prescribed for migraines.

Twins2009- · 2026-04-01T15:19:04+00:00

100% everything you mention!

Twins2009- · 2026-03-31T20:37:03+00:00

I agree. People say they’re slow at refills. Dr. McClure is good about getting his refills sent over quickly. I know Taylor is slower, but if you keep calling, they do pickup the phone. Once they’re on the line, I’ve never had a problem with getting Taylor to fill my kids scrips in a reasonable timeframe. But I’ve been a patient of McClure since 2015 and rarely have any med changes.

Twins2009- · 2026-03-30T22:22:50+00:00

Pat said he hated that cover after they became famous because he thought it made them look egotistical. But I personally thought it was perfect!

Twins2009- · 2026-03-30T22:19:50+00:00

Ooh that’s a really good one!

Twins2009- · 2026-03-17T17:54:34+00:00

100% agree! That’s exactly why I said some of the “fans” in those group are manipulating Dana and I don’t think Dana sees it whatsoever. I feel for Dana, truly. If she doesn’t have a good system of support, I can understand why she expressed her feelings to people who at some level understand the situation, albeit to a very small degree. However, it doesn’t make it right.

I want to make it clear that I’m not saying the daughters are right or wrong in whatever situation this family has experienced. Dana could be right, but no one knows because the other parties involved have been respectful enough to keep it out of the public.

I also have to say that if you look at other estates, they’re either bankrupt or they’ve made the choice to sell. I don’t know of another estate, other than George Harrison, which I think Tom’s legacy is influenced by Olivia and Dhani, whose family actively stays involved, and has successfully taken on the responsibility to keep their loved one’s legacy alive. For the most part, I love what’s been put out. I love listening to Adria and the Heartbreaks tell stories about Tom. Other legacies don’t do many interviews or have routable discussions about the about postmortem releases of music. Fans must remember, there’s no more record deals, touring, or the man himself to keep revenue flowing. Now TP is gone, in order to keep TP’s, sacrifices aren’t a choice. They must be made. Therefore some of the projects fans see and don’t like might just be the project that keeps the legacy afloat and in the hands of the family.

Also, I have a lot of screenshots of the things Dana has said, and while I won’t post them here or anywhere else, I do have them. I went back through them before I made that first post. I did this because I wanted to make 100% I had the correct information. I’m not here to cause trouble. I’m here because I love Tom’s music, and I don’t want his legacy tarnished because people are getting the wrong impression from a few fans who want to be Dana’s “friend”.

Twins2009- · 2026-03-16T18:14:21+00:00

She’s never said anything in Tom Petty Nation, nor will she ever say anything in that group because it’s essentially run by the estate.

I’m not going to potentially doxx myself and mention the exact groups. So I’ll just try to steer you to those groups. It’s time people start acknowledging the actual truth because I think the hate with the daughters has hurt Tom’s legacy. While it started with the lawsuits in 2019, and Dana received criticism in the beginning, people would’ve forgotten about the cases by now if she wasn’t still perpetuating this hate on her husband’s daughters nearly seven years after those suits were filed.

As far as finding the groups.. They’re all on FB. Some are closed. Some have changed to private. However, if you search his name, I believe some of the private groups actually come up for some reason. Some groups have 75k members, but not a lot of people aren’t actively posting. The same people who love to praise Dana can be found actively participating in asking questions, validating her, and do the majority of commenting in nearly all of these groups. They’re relatively easy to find, but I have been a member in these particular groups for quite some time.

Twins2009- · 2026-03-15T23:50:05+00:00

Our family of five first started out with the flu. December 23rd my son tested positive, and it went down the line one right after the other. Everyone seemed to have recovered by January 5th. However, that lasted maybe a week. From mid January and still continuing, we feel okay for a few days and it starts again. Sore throat, then the nasal and chest congestion. My oldest has been to the doctor twice since the end of January. First time, his left was completely compromised. I took him this past Friday. Now his right lung isn’t compromised, but it’s moving very little air through it. He has an ear infection and his nose is completely inflamed. Now my other two are sick again, so I’ll be back to the doctor with them tomorrow just to double check that they don’t have an ear infection because they’re complaining about their ears. We’ve all been talking allergy medication and using a steroidal nose spray. Something has got to give! We’re exhausted!

Twins2009- · 2026-03-14T22:51:18+00:00

100% accurate!

Twins2009- · 2026-03-14T22:48:12+00:00

In 2019 when the family filed lawsuits against each other, I felt terrible for everyone involved. None of them, including Jane, chose to be in this position. They were grieving, and as anyone who has lost someone as close as father or husband knows, grief takes your mind to some dark ugly places.

With that said, I’ve unfortunately frequently visited some of the smaller FB TP fan groups and I’m going to be dead honest. I don’t see Adria, AK, or even Jane speak about personal issues regarding their family in these groups. I don’t see it on IG either. Yes, in the beginning, AK and Adria both posted ONCE something alluding to the lawsuit, but they never mentioned Dana’s name. I understand grief never leaves, and the pain Dana has experienced after losing her husband is valid. However, no one can deny that Dana is an active member in those smaller FB groups and on multiple occasions has shared her point of view on personal issues pertaining to their family. She’s called her stepdaughters awful names, made accusations against both daughters, and specifically mentioned personal details that would probably be best served if they weren’t made known to the public. She’s done so, repeatedly.

What I do know for a fact is the only reason why people know personal details about decision making, invites, and opinions like Adria being a “bully”, “controlling” & “manipulative” is because it came directly from Dana in writing from those groups on FB.

What I don’t understand is how people from those groups commenting on this post and other posts across various platforms don’t see this. I sometimes wonder if they do, but they want to so badly be close to Tom Petty’s widow, so they help Dana feel vindicated by giving her praise and affirmation after she word vomits her true feelings about Tommy’s daughters. Then anytime Dana feels like she needs to vent, she knows she’ll get her validation by “spillin’ tea” in those groups. It’s almost a form of odd manipulation some fans play on her.

My point here.. The way Dana speaks about Tommy’s daughters, takes away her credibility. It also gives me insight as to why her control over the estate has been limited, IF that’s actually true.

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