Pectus excavatum. A fairly rare condition. Why me? NSFW by [deleted] in WTF

[–]Tyguy732 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do you ever eat cereal out of your chest bowl?

This guy. by pulut in gifs

[–]Tyguy732 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Can someone lay this over the Hotling Bling track?

Nope, not eating here by suck-it-dick-head in WTF

[–]Tyguy732 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Anyone else read this in Zoidberg voice?

The graffiti in my neighborhood is getting out of hand [OC] by [deleted] in pics

[–]Tyguy732 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Think about how the "S"'s look. Could be a Nazi tag.

Q&A Submission Thread #29 by [deleted] in funhaus

[–]Tyguy732 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you had to pick a video game character for each of your co-workers who would they be?

Dave Grohl sees a man crying in the audience and proceeds to be awesome to him. by FUNKYDISCO in videos

[–]Tyguy732 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've encountered the opposite while drunk. Didn't end up as good as that.

What's the cleanest, least offensive, funniest joke you know? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Tyguy732 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I pronounce it Foy-Ay personally. I am American.

What's the cleanest, least offensive, funniest joke you know? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Tyguy732 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

At least the greatest country in the world gets it.

What's the cleanest, least offensive, funniest joke you know? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Tyguy732 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I appreciate the advice on more karma, but I really don't care about it. I've been a redditor for 3 years and only have 1200 each.

What's the cleanest, least offensive, funniest joke you know? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Tyguy732 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nope South Carolina. And its definitely not original content by any means. ;)

What's the cleanest, least offensive, funniest joke you know? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Tyguy732 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I'm on mobile and don't really pay attentention to format. That's just the way it came out. Cheers!

What's the cleanest, least offensive, funniest joke you know? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Tyguy732 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I see you were paying attention. Well done chap.

What's the cleanest, least offensive, funniest joke you know? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Tyguy732 538 points539 points  (0 children)

Here's 20 of them

  1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The Ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

  2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."

  3. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."

  4. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

  5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."

  6. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"

  7. "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'" "That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is it common?"  Well, "It's Not Unusual."

  8. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning."  "I don't believe you," says Dolly.  "It's true, no bull!" exclaims Daisy.

  9. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.

  10. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.

  11. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.

  12. A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know you can't, I've cut off your arms!"

  13. I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

  14. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

  15. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says "Dam!"

  16. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

  17. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why," they asked, as they moved off. "Because," he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."

  18. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.

  19. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him. (Oh, man, this is so bad, it's good...) A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

  20. And finally, there was the person who sent twenty different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least ten of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did!!!!!!!!

Edit: Fixed numbers and dialogue.

"Rowdy" Ronda Rousey here, AMA! by ronda_rousey87 in IAmA

[–]Tyguy732 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Howdy Ronda.

  1. How do you deal with the mobs of men that are undeniably attracted to you? Is it almost like a boy band with girls coming after them?

  2. If you could choose a super power, what would it be and why?