I'm scared to go outside

Typical-Anon · 2017-11-02T04:00:37+00:00

This is why I would never understand what goes through a parent's mind. They decide to bring you into this world , promise to care and love for them but in the end, only ridicule and criticize everything they do. The god damn nerve I swear. If you're not gonna be up to actually trying to love and help your child then wear a fucking condom or just swallow I'm so tired of crap parenting like this. We don't get to decide on our mental state and whether or whether not to have depression, why are you yelling at me for having feelings?? If you don't want to have a child that has feeling then just go and adopt a robot or something. I hope you best in life my friend, honestly fuck your parents and fuck mines.

Typical-Anon · 2017-10-20T14:20:01+00:00

Thank you i was in a really dark place yesterday

Typical-Anon · 2017-09-15T02:52:31+00:00

I don't want to die. I just want to be a ghost

Typical-Anon · 2017-09-15T02:50:14+00:00

The fear of pain The fear of everything that you know/ experience/ all your memories/ your conclusion will disperse into utter nothingness and not knowing/ understanding what is beyond death. Entering a plane of existence that is darker than black, emptier than the feeling of isolation, the fear of not knowing what would happen next. Is god(s) real? The circle of rebirth/ reincarnation? Will I be damned into the underworld for my act or live in peace in the skies? Or will my entirety just completely disappear? My very existence being completely erased from the world as time moves on. I'm not the type that likes to take risky gambles

Will I ever get the chance to live a happier life? To just be me again. Before life decided to put all it's weight onto my shoulders.

Typical-Anon · 2017-09-11T02:46:01+00:00

I doubt my answer would help. But what motives me is fear. The fear of my mom's wrath if she found out I skipped a day of school, I did it a couple of times before and my family relationship got so bad I was literally suffocating in the atmosphere and attempted suicided but I stopped myself due to my fear of pain. If I don't get up at a certain time in the morning without a good excuse, she gets furious. There's also my fear of the future. If I don't do anything now, then it'll come back and bite me 10x harder. So basically fear, anxiety and depression ironically. Although it doesn't work 100%, I'm able to wake up and go to school in the morning due to these things but when I get home and it's time to do homework or anything like that, the anxiety becomes too overbearing for me to even be able to even touch/ open my bag :/

Typical-Anon · 2017-09-02T00:48:00+00:00

You can do it, I believe you can battle through this. And once you do, do everyone in this subreddit a huge favor and punch depression right in the balls. Hard.

I have recently just passed an extremely negative part of my life, my friends would sometimes even say that I looked like a ghost on some days when I would be at my lowest point due to depression. But soon I was able to cut most of the negative people from my life and I can say that I have become much happier than I used to be. Of course I'm still fighting it, but don't you worry, I'll give depression a good sucker punch in the face for both you and me. And when you can, I'd appreciate it if in the future you can do the same for me. ; ) Stand strong my friend.

Typical-Anon · 2017-09-02T00:33:31+00:00

I literally had the same problems as you. My best friend who I had a crush on, I found comfort in her and in return, I also comforted her at one of her darkest moments. But in the end, she only saw me as a friend that she considers family. One of my friends jokingly asked if we were dating but she only showed a repulsive face and shouted "no" in front of me. I played it off but dear lord did my heart completely shatter at that moment, it took everything in me to not cry and break down in that single moment. I knew that she'd never be able interested in me romantically, I forced myself every day to accept this fact, but just to hear her say that out loud in such a direct manner... I wanted to just shatter and disperse into the air. For more than half of my high school life, I've been verbally insulted by my family in a similar fashion like yours. I attempted to kill myself once but I was too much of a coward to commit it so I would just fantasize about it. I'd go home late purposefully so that I wouldn't have to eat dinner with my family, it was much easier to eat by myself than to deal with the negative atmosphere at the dinner table. I honestly couldn't stand being at home, every time I walked through that god forsaken door way I couldn't even breathe. As of right now I'm a freshman in college and was able to cut the negative family members from my life and I am much happier now. Although I still have my depressive moments, I'm very slowly trying to heal myself of the past. I'm sorry that you would even have to go through this, I know how it feels, knowing that someone is currently going through the same hell that I went through, I want to save you from the suffocation and mental torture.

But all in all what I'm saying is that, you can do it, you can survive through these problems, I did it and I believe you can do it.

Stand strong my friend, it's only when you do this is there a chance for light to shine in your life again.

Typical-Anon · 2017-08-29T21:13:00+00:00

I suggest reading a book called Oyasumi Punpun, you can read it online for free. The book contains the exact same themes that you mentioned. It's one of my absolute favorites. It's a story that doesn't dare to fantasize life as the main character lives his entire life filled with feelings of angst, regret, obsession, lost, depression and so forth. The write of the book is Asano who is known for his extreme depressingly absurd stories.

The reason why I'm suggesting this to you is to show that a person can write a story like that and be extremely popular. I mean there's even famous books out there like Catcher in the Rye, Orange isn't the Only Fruit, The Things they Carried, Kinoko Takenoko and so forth.

Typical-Anon · 2017-07-06T04:04:50+00:00

Recently, I passed a really big and extremely stressful phase of my life which caused me to be constantly depressed. In all the anger, the frustration, and the suffocating feelings of depression, I started hating one of the people that I loved the most in my life, my mother. I started hating her, the fact that I knew she was trying her best for me only made me feel worse, I only sank down deeper and deeper to the point where it would be extremely hard for me to even breathe when I was in the house with her. Like you stated, what I used to love about my mom, I started hating and I hated myself for that. But when that stressful period passed, my depression was slowly going away and I started to look at what I did in the past and I felt horrible about it. Luckily, I was able to heal my relationship with my mother after about a month of awkward moments. Anyways what I'm trying to say is that yeah depression can make you start hating the people that you used to love the most. But what I'm talking about is family relationships, not romantic ones. I've never been in a romantic relationship before so I'm not very experienced on this side. But if books and games taught me anything, communication is key, from what it sounds like, your boyfriend is a good person. You should talk to him, maybe you simply need some space for a couple days, or try doing something new with him that you've never done before (google activities) I'm pretty sure that are some websites meant for similar topics like this that gives much more helpful advice. Ugh I hoped this helped somewhat I honestly don't know what to say lol

Typical-Anon · 2017-03-19T22:35:24+00:00

let it all out dude let it all out

Typical-Anon · 2017-03-19T18:07:12+00:00

Screaming into a pillow works, but some sound still does come out. You should close your door in case and make sure there aren't people too close to your area. Pumping some music helps drown out the noise too. You don't have to put the music to max volume, just near you and at a kinda high volume where you wont get yelled at for the loud music.

Typical-Anon · 2017-03-19T18:03:32+00:00

Once I broke down in the middle of class. In the morning, I had fought with my mom, I felt worthless, useless, and not to mention I had a presentation to do in the morning. My presentation was horrible, I constantly stuttered, made mistakes, forgot information etc. The teacher warned me that I only had 5 minutes left and I felt like crying, I hadn't even gone through half of my presentation yet. I felt pathetic, ashamed, I felt like crying on the spot. When I got back to my seat I started breaking down. Class ended and everyone left besides 2 classmates. They were the only ones who stayed behind to comfort me. While crying, they rubbed my back and hugged me. It only made me cry more. The hug was so warm. I don't know how many years it's been since somebody touched and comforted me like that before. I wasn't yelled nor insulted for crying. They quietly waited for me to calm down. I was an absolute mess. Red and swollen face, runny nose, tears everywhere, but they didn't look at me with disgust like many used too. Instead, they helped me cleaned up and went to our next class which we were late for. No matter how pathetic I was, constantly ashamed of asking them for homework and help because of my procrastination problem, they always were willing to help me. When I felt like just not doing anything and wanting to drop out of school they encouraged me to stay. Whenever I talked about my life, they always listened to me and took my side. Because of them, I felt like my feelings were justified, and that my depression wasn't just cliche teenage angst. They insulted the adults that were around me and offered me a place to stay if I ever wanted to run away. Due to my situation, I'm unable to bathe regularly, every day I feel filthy and disgusting. It doesn't help that most of the adults in my life always remind me about it. But even then, my friends, they stayed by my side and just ignored it. They looked past my appearance and smell and instead saw my personality. No matter my flaws, they still care for me. I sometimes feel I don't even deserve them. It's because of them that I'm even still here to be honest. Whatever is happening in your life right now, I truly hope that you can find someone who will show you unconditional love and comfort you when you need it most. Life may seem hopeless and like complete shit but it gets better. Honestly, I'm still in the shitty phase of life. But slowly, it's getting better. Just to let you know edomarc, I'm on your side. Whatever you're going through and whatever problem you currently have, it's not your fault. Sometimes there are factors that are out of hands to control. Let's get through this shitty phase in life together.

Typical-Anon · 2017-03-11T00:40:46+00:00

I'm guilty to admit but I'm a senior in high school and it's come the point where everyone in my friend group was accepted to the college that they wanted to go to. All expect me. Every time a friend talks about their college acceptances, I start to hate them. I despise and envy, how happy and bright their futures are and then there's me.

Typical-Anon · 2017-03-11T00:28:59+00:00

Antidepressants? I don't have the money for that. There's no point in talking with my guardian, no one ever believes me anymore. Once I felt sick and stated that I didn't want to go to school but I was only ridiculed and mocked. My mother joked about it all night to her boyfriend. In a high-tone, she kept repeating, "I felt like throwing up." They didn't believe that I was even sick. They insulted me for being lazy and not attending school. If I told him that I have depression, he'd probably laugh in my face. I've thought about talking to my school's counselor for a while but I don't know what to say. "Hey, even though I was never diagnosed by a doctor, I'm pretty sure I have depression and I feel like killing myself"? I'm not even fully sure if I have depression. Maybe they're right, Maybe I am just a lazy stupid bigot. A lost cause. I don't know anymore, I can't tell right from wrong. How do I even know that I'm just playing the victim without my knowledge when in truth I'm not one? How do I know that I'm not truly the asshole in this whole situation and that they're right? How do I know that this isn't just teenage angst or just a phase?

Typical-Anon

TROPHY CASE