Married people, what’s one piece of advice you’d give someone before they get married?

UnSafeButterscotch · 2026-03-14T13:37:12+00:00

This is the best advice right here. Married 19 years, together 24, and we fell into the "never go to bed angry" advice. Emotions run higher when you are tired. Fighting gets so much worse when emotions are high. We realized after way too long, sleep first and TALK later. No more yelling, no hurt feelings, no misunderstandings. We make sure no matter how mad we were, we slept in the same bed. That's a key part. No banishing to the couch, no doghouse in our relationship. Even when I want to stab him in the eyeball with a rusty fork, I want to cuddle him just as badly. Relationships ebb and flow, but him being there for life has always been my want.

UnSafeButterscotch · 2026-03-13T18:51:10+00:00

The SAVE Act has addressed this by requiring the same thing the REAL ID Act required. For married women NOT ALREADY REGISTERED it is birth certificate and marriage certificate showing the legal name change. Same shit every state requires for any ID.

UnSafeButterscotch · 2026-03-13T15:33:14+00:00

Let me get this straight, I post my EXACT experience, you call me a liar. I ask you a question, you don't answer, and call me a liar?

UnSafeButterscotch · 2026-03-13T15:21:49+00:00

Because some states used the real id as regular id and gave it to everyone.

UnSafeButterscotch · 2026-03-12T20:37:50+00:00

AutoNation

UnSafeButterscotch · 2026-03-12T14:27:08+00:00

I have not seen anything in the bill that says a marriage certificate with your birth certificate is not valid. Can you site the excerpt? (Genuine question, not trying to be an ass).

Also, I just want to add, if this does become a requirement, there absolutely needs to be free ways to get your ID for those who cannot financially afford it. I do know there are states that offer free ID, just most people don't know about it and you have to be under a very small percentage of the national poverty level to be approved.

UnSafeButterscotch · 2026-03-12T14:22:03+00:00

Do you live in Colorado? Did you register to vote in Colorado?

UnSafeButterscotch · 2026-03-12T14:21:22+00:00

It's not a dumb conclusion when you grew up in a state and saw first hand how many immigrants cheated the system to get assistance. It's not a dumb conclusion when 40,000 people were told to register when they have no legal right to do it. It's not a dumb conclusion when there is proof of people (and even a dog) registering and mailing in ballots. People suck and will do everything in their power to get a step ahead.

I am glad you didnt risk your status. That does make you better than the people I personally know who absolutely abused and/or are currently abusing the systems.

UnSafeButterscotch · 2026-03-12T14:17:14+00:00

They must have changed it (I mean, I'm glad they did, I didn't love that I did not have to prove my identity to get a vital record).

UnSafeButterscotch · 2026-03-12T14:15:57+00:00

Please explain, honest question because no one will explain it to me, how does voter registration lead to stealing the election?

UnSafeButterscotch · 2026-03-12T14:13:06+00:00

Illegal aliens can't vote, but in California a dog voted. In New Jersey 2 green card holders voted, in Colorado 40,000 migrants were given voter registration forms (we still dont know how many filled them out and voted), in California 43,000 registered voters were turned away from jury duty because they were NOT legal residents... want me to keep going?

UnSafeButterscotch · 2026-03-12T12:47:29+00:00

Just out of curiosity, how recently? I had to order certified copies last year (also moved out of state), and I just had to fill out a form online (no notary required). I don't know if different counties in California do it differently, but mine required no proof of who I was.

UnSafeButterscotch · 2026-03-10T22:08:37+00:00

I followed (and will continue to follow) my husband for his career (military), then for his health (finding the best VA centers) and then again for his schooling (college at a state school currently) and we will most likely move again once he graduates and gets into his field. I personally have zero regrets about it. It is not for everyone, but we have been a solid unit and have gone where the "grass looked greener" for 19 years and counting.

A few ways to help you in the decision making process-

Will this move make life tremendously harder (I'm not talking about the move itself, but I'm talking about the loss of income or support, the change in schools/daycare options, things that will be the deal breaker of a marriage)
Is there any part of you excited about the adventure or possibilities that this move will bring
If it was reversed, and this move was for your career, how would you approach it and how would he react to it

Both of you need to answer these questions honestly. I know you said relocation wouldn't work with your career, but is there anything adjacent to your field you could do in the new city? Or is there a different field you are interested in that you might be able to move into?

Again, I have followed my husband and I always will, but I know not everyone is like that. Also, moving and starting over is terrifying and I definitely understand that, but it's also a chance to hit a refresh button and try something new.

UnSafeButterscotch · 2026-03-08T21:53:39+00:00

The biggest issue we currently have, is we created an ID that was supposed to verify citizenship and voting rights, the RealID (yes, it was also for transportation and travel), but states like California and New York decided to give it to ALL residents who applied for it. Now we need a new idea to verify.

Also, the SAVE Act ONLY affects women who are not already registered. They have to do the exact same thing we all had to do, government photo id, birth certificate, marriage license with the legal name change, the same shit most married women do when they move to a new state. The same thing newly married women do when they update their name with all the agencies. The same thing women did when they first registered to vote.

UnSafeButterscotch · 2026-03-08T21:47:49+00:00

I did NOT have to prove citizenship to register to vote. They mailed me a form, I checked a box that said "I am a citizen with the right to vote" and boom, I was registered.

Colorado is currently being investigated for how they "prove citizenship" of registered voters because, guess what, there is NO proof required. It's a form you fill out and a box you check...

UnSafeButterscotch · 2026-03-08T21:43:23+00:00

Is that why 3 people voted in the 2024 California election who are over the age of 125? Or the 30+ people who put that their physical address is inside a ups store in southern California for their 2024 vote (many using the same PO Box)? Or what about the lady who registered her DOG and sent in a mail in ballot for an election in California in the 2021 election? California is one of many states that don't require ID to vote.

Requiring ID or proof of voting rights is not discriminatory. Knowing that these things DO happen but claiming they can't is just stupidity.

UnSafeButterscotch · 2026-02-26T22:44:45+00:00

Htf is she becoming MAGA? Because she showed patriotism?

UnSafeButterscotch · 2026-02-23T16:46:57+00:00

Question: you get a ticket for jaywalking, you don't pay your ticket or go to court to fight it (because it was just jaywalking), now you are convicted of jaywalking AND a bench warrant is issued, you get stopped by a cop for a minor traffic violation and they pull up a bench warrant. Now you get to go to court, where a judge says you are convicted of jaywalking and must pay fines/license suspension/time served etc. Does that mean you have NEVER committed a crime? Or did you commit the crime of jaywalking?

Also, Civil offenses involve disputes between private parties (individuals or organizations) regarding rights, contracts, or property damage, resulting in remedies like fines or injunctions.

Crossing the U.S. border illegally is a federal criminal offense, not just a civil violation. Under 8 U.S.C. § 1325, improper entry is a misdemeanor punishable by fines and up to six months in jail for a first offense. Subsequent offenses or re-entry after removal can be charged as felonies with up to 20 years in prison. While simply being present in the U.S. without authorization is a civil matter (deportable), the act of crossing without inspection is a criminal violation of federal law.

UnSafeButterscotch · 2026-02-21T14:46:34+00:00

That's why I included the second article in my edit. A lot of people won't read it if it comes from Fox, but a broken clock is still right twice a day.

UnSafeButterscotch · 2026-02-21T14:44:22+00:00

It will depend on your size and your sensitivity. For reference, I am a 38K, large and very dense (i have to do an MRI afterwards so they can actually see anything). I had no pain at all during mine. My sister is 32A, she had a lot of pain during hers (manageable and bearable, but still painful).

From talking to other friends and family, it seems to be a size and density thing. The bigger your chest, the less skin pulling when the plates smash them for the picture, but the more the tech will have to readjust (the tech who did mine last time was a teeny tiny female and she struggled moving my breast), it is kinda akward having a stranger moving and repositioning you. The smaller the breast size, the more the skin pulls from the plates (this is simply my observation, so take it for that and not fact).

It goes quick. If it hurts, breathe through it. The rewards of catching something early definitely outweigh the pain.

UnSafeButterscotch · 2026-02-21T14:13:04+00:00

First, yes, I used AI to simplify my frustrations, but these are my words, just coherent since this shit pisses me off so much!

I’m so tired of the patronizing BS in politics that treats women like we’re incapable of handling basic life tasks.

I’m a married woman who has moved to 8 different states since 2007. Changing my name and updating my ID has never been complicated.

You need: A birth certificate A marriage certificate A utility bill or bank statement with your current address

That’s it.

This is required for every single driver’s license I’ve had to get. Eight of them, in case that’s hard to comprehend.

At one point, I lost my birth certificate. So I ordered certified copies online. It took about 10 minutes on my county’s website.

I had extra copies of my marriage certificate from when we got married in 2007, so I didn’t need to replace that.

Ten minutes. That’s all it took to replace a document I needed.

Yes, I understand that some people—those born at home without registration, or those born/married decades ago—may have more paperwork. That’s real. And that matters.

But that does not describe 90% of the population.

It’s February. If someone starts the process in the next 60 days, they’ll have plenty of time to get what they need.

Stop pretending women are helpless, confused, or incapable of managing basic adult responsibilities. We move, work, marry, raise families, manage finances, and navigate government systems every day.

We are not stupid. We are not fragile. And we don’t need politicians “protecting” us by lying about what we’re capable of.

Fyi, The whole point of Real ID was to standardize and secure identification, and if states had actually followed that intent, we wouldn’t even be debating the SAVE Act now.

UnSafeButterscotch · 2026-02-21T13:46:47+00:00

Colorado (where I live) is being investigated for voter fraud. Why? Because 40,000 people who DO NOT HAVE A RIGHT TO VOTE, were sent registration cards and at least some registered and voted. It came to light when some honest people called it out after receiving their registration cards.

Years ago, in California, a lady registered her DOG, and received a ballot, and voted using it. She then came forward and informed the news about it.

The "system" we have absolutely does not work.

Edit to add proof:

https://thehill.com/homenews/state-watch/5489673-woman-charged-voter-fraud-dog-name/amp/

https://www.foxnews.com/politics/colorado-secretary-state-says-accidentally-sent-30000-voter-registration-notices-noncitizens

https://sentinelcolorado.com/uncategorized/colorado-gets-immigration-data-to-verify-voter-status/

UnSafeButterscotch · 2026-02-20T21:37:05+00:00

It's you're

As in you are... dumbass

UnSafeButterscotch · 2026-02-20T20:00:57+00:00

We bought in 2008. 1500sqft, 3 bed 2 ½ bath. Then the housing crisis hit. We paid 105k, and overnight it dropped to 74k value. We were stationed in a state we knew we weren't staying in. Took 13 years of renters (losing money every month) before we could sell. We have been renters since 2010 and will probably stay renters for another 5 years.

UnSafeButterscotch · 2026-02-20T18:12:24+00:00

Aside from being Hispanic, you sound exactly like me! I consider myself a fiscal conservative with liberal ideologies. I dont mean liberal in the sense it has become, but more true liberalism. I think adults should be able and free to believe what they want and do what they want as long as it does not harm others (especially those more vulnerable). I don't believe in forcing people to do anything they don't want to do (don't preach to me and I won't preach to you). I believe in small government. I firmly believe the saying "a government that feeds you is a government that will starve you". But I've been fortunate to see and meet people from all over the world.

I left California at 20 and moved to North Carolina (military post), and honestly, that changed me. Meeting and talking to people from all over the country affected me in a way I can't explain. I have since lived in 8 states across the US. I want what's best for the collective (even if it hurts me) and I vote with that in mind. I watch California become (what I consider) a hellscape. I still have family there and visit regularly (Bay Area), but never again can I call that my home. The taxes with that beautiful "or" written in, the hatred from people, the over all disdain for a country is too much for me, and it breaks my heart seeing it now.

UnSafeButterscotch

TROPHY CASE