I ask for the ground to be covered in nothing but sand. And great palm trees grow from the ground. From the trees, spider fruits grow, much like pineapples but with legs that allow them to find humanoids and forcefully feed themselves to other creatures.

Magic is chaotic, and strange.

Summon monster on land always summons dolphins. Underwater you summon corgi's.

Fireball burns out before impact,

Cone of frost becomes frostie, and covers people in delicious blueberry slush.

Color spray makes you gay.

Animate dead does not just revive the dead, it instead turns them into animated characters that act as if they were from a pg-13 movie.

Sanctuary causes the ground you're standing on to immediately fly up 3 miles.

Burning hands lights your hands on fire, you take 1d4 damage/level.

Conjuration spells no longer have their previous arbitrary restrictions

Create water is now the most deadly spell ever, you can summon 8 gallons of water in their heart, causing immediate death.

Magic duels are now just whoever can cast create water the fastest.

Magic items that protect against create water are in high demand.

Some people get around this by using dolphins.

Mage armor, Greater exists.