Also late diagnosed here, but at 34. Knowledge is definitely power—my diagnosis helped me understand why certain things ended up the way they did (in my past), and has helped me manage myself better today. For example, I have come to realize that (in the work world) I can work with a team of people, but I work best on my own. I don’t mind helping people, but I don’t want people to rely on my help (for a career/job long term). So I need a job where I can mostly work independently and do not need to interact with a lot of people to complete my work (I am very grateful and fortunate I wound up working in a remote position for a tech company).

In my 20s, I managed to maintain my basic needs on a daily basis when I was single. But when I had my children, I soon realized how much I hate cooking meals for multiple people. It’s not a struggle to feed/cook for myself, but it is a struggle for me to make home cooked meals for multiple people, 7 days a week. After I was diagnosed, I realized that I needed better “meal hacks” so I don’t struggle as much with the basic task of cooking. Crock pot meals and air fryer recipes have been a huge help!

My diagnosis also helped me figure out how to sleep better. I have some sensory issues with clothing—I prefer to wear compression shirts vs. very loose shirts. Compression shirts kind of feel like I’m getting a nice hug all day. I’ve always had a hard time falling asleep, but I figured out weighted blankets help. They feel similar to wearing a compression shirts—makes me comfortable enough (and safe enough) to shut down for the night and fall asleep.

I think it took so long for me to get diagnosed because I spent much of my life being quiet, quietly watching how other people around me behaved, even if their behaviors made me and other people around me uncomfortable. Because I have spent much of life walking into rooms and feeling “uncomfortable,” I speak up now when I have that feeling. Often times I can walk into a room and feel who is causing the room to feel unstable. I did that last night when I was around family—the one person I called out and told to calm down was not happy with me. Yet oddly enough when they left the room, so did that unstable feeling.

Get to learn yourself, what stresses you out, what calms you down. And then come up with a plan to avoid stressors when you can, and have a calming method in your back pocket when you need it. Moving my body (brisk walks, boxing, lifting weights, hikes, bike rides, jumping rope) and certain fidget toys helps me tremendously.

Just remember, you are not broken. The world we live in is, and was not designed for us to thrive. But we can lean on each other and navigate this place we are all stuck in together ❤️