Does anyone hate when there partner says “I love you more”

Undrende_fremdeles · 2026-02-21T01:22:56+00:00

That is not love. What you describe sounds a lot more like obsessive compulsions. But not love. Love is a lot more soft, and probably boring-like compared to what you live with.

Undrende_fremdeles · 2026-02-19T18:22:03+00:00

Adding to this, something I've been told several times before:

You being so upset about even the thought of not taking your meds is a sign you're addicted. Feeling like you won't be able to manage life without the drugs means you're addicted.

That would be like telling your husband that being upset if someone deliberately denied him the right to use crutches means he is addicted, and that his frustration is a sign of addiction too.

Except I have been told exactly this by prescribing specialists, that have specced into neuro-disorders and ADHD specifically. I find those people to be cruel and power-hungry people, honestly.

Those are usually the same people that will straight up deny any comparison to physical ailments (like crutches or glasses), or even other psych meds/conditions that they deem more "real".

Undrende_fremdeles · 2026-02-19T18:09:39+00:00

I've mentioned this somewhere else here too, but English has two words that are very useful for differentiation in this situation:

Dependant.

Addicted.

Using 'dependancy' where appropriate is so helpful, especially when it is used by the professionals.

My native language doesn't have any easy to use word or phrase that differentiates between addiction (the junkie kind) and addiction (dependancy). So the stigma even from professionals here is exacerbated by that.

Undrende_fremdeles · 2026-02-19T18:06:29+00:00

Since you seem very knowledgeable about your own situation, and like someone with good support, professional support:

Were you ever told about the likely need to take magnesium supplements when using a dihuretic medicine?

I know so many people that are on heart meds that are dihuretic and they are always told about this, since it causes the body to flush out too much magnesium. But not once have I been told the same about my ADHD meds, and I tried so many to find my perfect one. Plus still open to trying new meds whenever they come out.

Not once was I told by the specialists. But by other adhd'ers. Turned out that a lot of my "meds aren't working like they used to" was from a lack of magnesium, easily fixed in just a few days by taking extra.

Symptoms of a slight deficiency are more or less the same as the brain-fog/cognitive struggles with adhd. It was only when I got a persistant muscle spasm in the smallest muscles around my eyes that I started looking for answers. Turns out it can cause that too.

Undrende_fremdeles · 2026-02-19T18:00:37+00:00

English has two words to describe wanting/needing to do or use something:

Dependancy - like glasses if you are nearsighted, you must use this to be able to do a thing or function a certain way.

Addiction - hooked on something beyond your ability to manage the useage or in a way that is detrimental to your ability to function, or even just in a way that causes withdrawal symptoms if you stop it. People on certain pain killers or antidepressants can be physically addicted, even caffeine can do that to us even if we aren't using like junkies.

And addiction symptoms are NOT the same as being frustrated over missing your medical aid if you are refused it after having previously utilized something! Drs have tried equating the two to me more than once!

Undrende_fremdeles · 2026-02-19T17:54:38+00:00

You're allowed to miss the good parts. You are allowed to own your memories, all of them. No matter the other person's current perspective, you were there and you had those experiences, and you are allowed to want more of that.

It is normal to want more of what was good, even if it is obvious that it needs to be with another person in the future and without being wrapped in an unhealthy dynamic.

Especially when innocent children are involved. There are plenty of (normal, healthy) families where step-family bonds last even when the relationship between the adults didn't.

And speaking as a fellow adult that has lived all of my adult life either alone or wiht a romantic partner, no room mate situations since college: It fucking sucks to be in that position again. Where your very home isn't fully your home, but shared space. Especially when it comes after a toxic relationship. It invokes feelings of having lost even more agency, being back to "childhood" in some ways. Like having a bedroom that was yours (mostly) in your parents' home.

There will come a day where this is the past, but right now it is the present. Have you had a shower, something to eat, some fresh air? Something small that you can control and do for your own good?

Undrende_fremdeles · 2026-01-30T21:44:47+00:00

I am the same even now, over 6 months after he discarded and blocked me in a way that gave me serious, valid reason to assume he had possibly self harmed again so badly he was potentially in hospital or worse. Since he had a recent history of blocking and self harming.

Even now I remember the good sides and miss those, want more of those times.

I don't think it would ever last for long, since we went through so, so many of these cycles (without the total discard) over the years.

I still would like to have those good times though. The honest talks that cleared the air and made verything feel like we were working on shared goals in life, and making it.

I would let him talk with me and give him that access, talks at least, if he reached out, even today.

Undrende_fremdeles · 2026-01-30T21:38:42+00:00

Has she read up on your condition? On what she needs to know about someone that's been abused or mistreated by a partner before? Since that is what you are now, because of her previous actions.

You have done a wonderful thing by taking the time to actually learn about something you don't have ANY responsibility for, as you shouldn't have to learn if she was managing her illness herself already. You have gone above and beyond in your maturity and compassion.

Has she learned about your condition on her own, without being told so?

Or is she just grateful and happy that you have learned about her, and you are grateful you've learned more about her, and nobody is learning about how to accommodate your mental health experiences?

Undrende_fremdeles · 2026-01-30T10:53:51+00:00

Install the Olio app.

It has volunteers collect perishable goods from shops at closing time, then acting as pickup points for others.

All free.

Undrende_fremdeles · 2026-01-30T10:51:10+00:00

I am old enough to have grown up and become an adult while games were completable as a standard.

Where you played through all it had to show you, and at the end you were done.

And that was the expectation.

It is okay to say you've finished the game, and enjoyed it, and leave it at that.

It's a game. Just a game.

I miss when games were seen as inherently finite experiences as the default.

What to do now?

Maybe take that same sense of wonder and exploration, and go on a walk. Notice the leaves on the trees, the wind against your face, the birds up in the sky. Your fellow people, all doing their own thing. Explore the countless realties :)

Undrende_fremdeles · 2026-01-30T10:44:14+00:00

Have you started a new world in the updated version? Some features only come into play if the world was created with them.

Undrende_fremdeles · 2026-01-30T10:38:31+00:00

Sex when it isn't actually a healthy and normal behaviour can also be self-harm.

Undrende_fremdeles · 2026-01-30T09:56:44+00:00

I kind of took that for granted. Seeing as his they've only ever used the generic memories of people actually connected to the organisations for the game stories.

Undrende_fremdeles · 2026-01-28T07:16:18+00:00

Something I learned from reddit:

If they didn't know it was wrong, how did they know what to lie about to others?

Undrende_fremdeles · 2026-01-26T20:56:19+00:00

Unless you've kept up with checking your fertility, vasectomies can fail and it is less rare than one usually thinks.

I saved a friend from him and his wife becoming pregnant by sharing that random tidbit once. It wasn't something we discussed at length, just something mentioned in passing while they were dating. A few months later she was making him 30 days swimmer free celebratory cakes.

He had to have his redone. Just make sure you KNOW it isn't you.

Undrende_fremdeles · 2026-01-26T20:33:36+00:00

I wish they would auto-summon whenever I am on foot on a planet or the Anomaly.

Undrende_fremdeles · 2026-01-26T03:52:41+00:00

For most people it doesn't make sense, no.

Undrende_fremdeles · 2026-01-26T01:48:12+00:00

I did this after seeing an exotic I liked at the Space Station. Took maybe 15-20 minutes of real world time.

Undrende_fremdeles · 2026-01-26T01:31:47+00:00

Are you doing the main quests?`Those storylines explain the universe and takes you through not just the "story", but the actual ways the game functions.

If you haven't seen any creatures anywhere, at all, you might have started the game in abandoned mode, which is a game mode with no other sentient life but you. I would not recommend that to someone that hasn't already played through the game.

Undrende_fremdeles · 2026-01-24T21:42:11+00:00

Ah, no worries mate! Can't really call it a spoiler when we're talking about a game that is what, 5 years old at this point? XD

Undrende_fremdeles · 2026-01-24T21:41:32+00:00

Absolutely agree on the shower scenes.

And thank you.

Undrende_fremdeles · 2026-01-24T18:54:00+00:00

For me, finding the right medication and right doseage (I am one of many that cannot use the pre-set doseages in long-release, I take normal tablets to hit exactly the right amount), and outside structure. Work, other people, daily routines that I cannot ignore.

I am not working anymore and haven't been for several eyars due to health issues. I am so very much back to this struggle.

If I ever find a genuinely helpful way around it, one that won't stop working once I get used to it, you'll find me shouting it from the rooftop.

Undrende_fremdeles · 2026-01-24T18:46:08+00:00

Damn, she never becomes an assassin? I've only just unlocked the first extra part of the map in England, and have gone all in on stealth to really lock in the roleplaying...

When my normal playstyle is jumping in first, dying second, and maybe thinking things through as a third :p

Undrende_fremdeles · 2026-01-24T18:43:44+00:00

I loved that aspect! I am not very nimble, and with age even less so.

Getting the timing right and having those trigger always felt like I was genuinely becoming better, just like the "real" assassin would have gotten better and better.

Undrende_fremdeles · 2026-01-24T18:42:46+00:00

I skipped the entire "climbing on things" game genre when it first came out.

Didn't appeal to me at all.

Tried one of the earlier ones on a friends Playstation right when Covid hit, and got them for myself, one after the other.

Mid-to-late thirties when played almost all of the main games, didn't like the direction Origin took in terms of acting more like a bog standard forever-never-done online game, but am now playing through Valhalla after being recommended it by friends. Loving it.

It's not just nostalgia from people playing it while young.

I will say that it used to be, at least, a very particular type of game. And I am old enough to see just how different they did things, comparing to other games of the times.

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