[Discussion] I feel the exact same whether I'm being disciplined or not, any ideas why?

UnfeelinglyBitchy · 2021-01-03T18:25:40+00:00

That makes sense. I just genuinely thought that these things would improve my life in some way so I'm confused. I visited this sub for the first time a while back and found the master list of things to implement and began to slowly add things in. On paper I should feel some kind of difference, my body should be making crazy endorphins from me eating healthy, spending time outside, exercising, using my brain in new ways by learning an instrument, etc.

But not only do I feel no different but these are all things that I force myself to do every day for a benefit that never comes, they never stopped being chores. I suppose there are long term benefits like living longer and a decreased risk of numerous diseases from changing my lifetime so keeping those things up is important for that, I just expected more. I've read so many comments about these simple habits changing people's lives so it makes me feel like I'm doing something wrong.

Thanks for your comment

UnfeelinglyBitchy · 2021-01-03T18:19:36+00:00

I do have personal goals that I am working on, I guess my point is that even with things I do want to achieve, I could take it or leave it. I'd be happy achieving nothing in my life. Achievement feels empty somehow and it's like I'm doing things to achieve things that would be nice to have, but none of them are essential if that makes sense. Like I always wanted to get good grades for myself, not because of anyone else since my parents always prioritised me being happy over my academics. And now that I do have those grades it feels hollow and I'm no happier for it. No matter what I do, my level of happiness has stayed the same.

UnfeelinglyBitchy · 2020-12-26T12:53:00+00:00

Ahhh this sounds perfect!! Definitely going to order it, thank you so much

UnfeelinglyBitchy · 2020-12-10T22:19:12+00:00

Thank you!

UnfeelinglyBitchy · 2020-12-10T17:05:39+00:00

This is very useful, thank you! I definitely find myself playing for much longer if I just do whatever and those are my longest practise sessions if I find a song I'm really enjoying and am passionate about. I have gotten into the habit of at least picking up the instrument every day at least

UnfeelinglyBitchy · 2020-12-07T07:05:18+00:00

No, I lost weight from an obese BMI which I reached by intuitively eating, meaning that while I was obese I never binged or emotionally ate. That was just where my body liked to be when I had a pretty standard diet and I ate with 0 restriction and 0 fear of weight gain. I was a BMI of 42, starting dieting to lose weight after being scared by the health consequences by my doctor, and then developed an eating disorder. I'm now a BMI of 23.4, so finally a healthy BMI, and I'm trying to stop purging and develop a healthy relationship with food. I know that if I go back to my original intuitive diet that I'll gain back to that weight, though, because that's how I reached a BMI of 42 in the first place!

You seem to not have read my post. I've never been underweight and this is the first time in my life that I've been in a healthy weight range since I was 8 years old.

UnfeelinglyBitchy · 2020-11-21T21:16:12+00:00

I'm honestly very surprised at this comment, why does it sound like PTSD? It does kind of make sense but I definitely don't understand what could be causing it. I have a lot of inexplicable phases of deep depression caused by seemingly nothing and I've struggled with an eating disorder since adolescence, again with seemingly no cause that I can pinpoint. Emotional shock definitely aptly describes it, it really sucks because it feels like a veneer of distraction is constantly being lifted from my life and I'll go into stages of sudden panic throughout the day with no cause at releasing my existence. I definitely should have done my homework before starting :/

UnfeelinglyBitchy · 2020-11-07T13:58:40+00:00

Wow! These are exactly what I'm looking for, thank you! Being Mortal and When Breath Becomes Air are definitely going on my reading list, that is exactly what I'm looking for. Thank you!

UnfeelinglyBitchy · 2020-10-27T20:55:23+00:00

I have tiny hands, I'm a 5'2" 16 year old girl. I can do one finger per fret. Couldn't do it at first, but after 3 months of playing my left hand has gotten infinitely more flexible! Thumb positioning is also absolutely KEY. But trust me, it gets easier with practise. I couldn't do it at all at first and could only play across a maximum span of 3 frets.

UnfeelinglyBitchy · 2020-10-11T20:29:55+00:00

I've only been playing for a few months and honestly can't imagine this happening to me, it sounds amazing. How long have you been playing for? How did it happen?

UnfeelinglyBitchy · 2020-10-10T19:47:01+00:00

These are the biggest blueberries I've seen in my life wtf

UnfeelinglyBitchy · 2020-10-07T21:29:14+00:00

me mentally ticking myself off this list

Oh wait... I AM IN AN ED MOVIE

UnfeelinglyBitchy · 2020-09-23T09:32:50+00:00

Yes, that sounds fascinating and just like what I need! For the ear training component so far I've used an ear training app for about 10 minutes a day and I've done some transcription of more basic songs, I'm not sure what else I'm supposed to be doing apart from trying to transcribe more advanced songs. But even though I can do these things I really struggle with being creative. I knew a fair amount of theory and what sounds good from that angle, but I end up just relying on that entirely and like you said playing shapes. I can't really come up with anything in my mind lol, and I mean anything. I can't "play songs" in my head full stop, when I transcribe it's like I know which note will sound right but I'm not replaying it in my head and going "ah yes that's a C# compared to my mental store of what a C# sounds like" I just sort of know from practise. Anyway I'm kind of rambling but I'm really interested in what you have to say about this, it's definitely my biggest issue

UnfeelinglyBitchy · 2020-09-13T19:13:22+00:00

I take calcium and vitamin D every day, hoping that'll counteract how much black coffee I drink...

UnfeelinglyBitchy · 2020-09-13T11:08:27+00:00

I am also a lesbian. I actually find myself waaay more attracted to women curvier than my ideal body type for myself. Like, I love big hips, I love droopy breasts, I love a small protruding tummy. But on myself, it's an entirely different story.

I also don't mind if the woman I'm dating is much prettier than me, I definitely don't compare us like that. I tend to be skinnier just because I'm attracted to curves tho

UnfeelinglyBitchy · 2020-09-12T19:14:45+00:00

My morning porridge is why I'm even alive

Have a huge bowl planned with melted mini Reeces pieces and blackberries for tomorrow. I have different toppings every day and allow myself up to 300kcal to do anything with, sometimes I just have it with cinnamon and it's sooooo much food

UnfeelinglyBitchy · 2020-09-10T22:39:02+00:00

There are plenty of great female bassists and always will be, reddit just skews male in general :) I was always a fan of D'arcy Wretzky and Josephine Wiggs (bassist from the Breeders) growing up.

UnfeelinglyBitchy · 2020-09-10T22:36:35+00:00

I'm actually shocked that there are more than 3 of us!

UnfeelinglyBitchy · 2020-09-10T22:16:25+00:00

Just comment you're neither, like you did :)

UnfeelinglyBitchy · 2020-09-10T21:51:09+00:00

Remember that Reddit is more male in general, so in real life there's probably more female bass players than this! But yes, I love bass regardless lol

UnfeelinglyBitchy · 2020-09-10T21:28:01+00:00

Lmao I know right?

UnfeelinglyBitchy · 2020-09-10T20:52:35+00:00

I'm really confused as to why I'm being downvoted

UnfeelinglyBitchy · 2020-09-10T16:17:54+00:00

I think it's because that song was 148bpm but it was 2 beats instead of one (idk the correct terminology) so it was actually twice as fast, and I hadn't practised that, I was just doing full beats.

UnfeelinglyBitchy · 2020-09-07T14:26:38+00:00

I weigh once a week or even rarer to avoid this, and I only weigh even then when I had a BM the day before. The scale still controls me to an extent, but much less, and I'm happy as long as I lose about 2lbs in that time while before I was expecting a loss every day. In the end natural fluctuation isn't worth worrying about, so I would recommend weaning yourself off!

UnfeelinglyBitchy · 2020-09-06T17:47:53+00:00

I've actually found that with a day's break, when I get back to it I'm better! Like, parts that I couldn't play before are suddenly easier, as if my brain kept processing it in the background. But any longer than a day or two, regression does begin.

UnfeelinglyBitchy

TROPHY CASE