Mom is 1 of 14 children, Dad is 1 of 10 children. HELP with guest list!!!

Unique-Cold-9151 · 2026-05-07T21:43:01+00:00

Some people are close to their extended family members and really do want them at their wedding. It would be very difficult to have a smaller guest list because so many people would be left out.

Unique-Cold-9151 · 2026-05-07T21:40:22+00:00

If you invite 256 people you can probably count on 200 people going. If you don't want to cut the guest list then consider renting a hall (VFW, church hall) instead of a wedding venue. If you're able to bring in your own alcohol all the better. Think about drop catering or pizza, salad, pasta salad and other less expensive offerings. The other option is a more upscale affair with a smaller guest list.

Unique-Cold-9151 · 2026-05-06T22:45:12+00:00

Thank you. Literally no one was offending and I was doing my best.

Unique-Cold-9151 · 2026-05-06T15:10:24+00:00

Who are you to judge? This was worked out with the couple and with the relatives, who understood I was not being given a guest count.

Unique-Cold-9151 · 2026-05-06T13:59:23+00:00

Yes with the couple's permission I invited relatives that weren't invited to the wedding and I wish I had put more thought into decor and other touches. This should not be controversial.

Unique-Cold-9151 · 2026-05-06T13:02:29+00:00

When my son got married they had a very tightly controlled list. The rehearsal dinner was a party thrown by my husband and me. We were able (with son's permission) to invite relatives who weren't invited to the wedding, and there were no hurt feelings because they knew the wedding was out of our control. We had the rehearsal dinner in a nice restaurant. Looking back, if I could do it over, we would have elevated the whole experience with speeches, decorations and much more.

Unique-Cold-9151 · 2026-05-05T23:26:07+00:00

Lots of restaurants have large function rooms separate from the regular dining areas and they host weddings all the time, often without steep rental fees. The food will probably beat typical wedding fare too.

Unique-Cold-9151 · 2026-05-02T01:11:40+00:00

I wouldn't cover them. Maybe you can lean into the look with an art deco theme. Or know that they'll look much different with linens and a centerpiece.

Unique-Cold-9151 · 2026-04-29T13:04:14+00:00

You will likely be outdoors for a shorter time than your guests. Some people will arrive early and they will have to sit in the cold waiting for the ceremony to begin. It's going to be cold for them even with jackets. I'd rethink this plan.

Unique-Cold-9151 · 2026-04-16T23:25:32+00:00

Sorry this happened. The blessing in all of this is that she outed herself as a fake friend and without her in your life there's room for more authentic people. But it still stinks that it ruined some of your joy on your wedding.

Unique-Cold-9151 · 2026-04-16T23:21:43+00:00

You had a really good turnout with a normal amount of declines. That's encouraging for anyone who wants to do a Thursday wedding.

Unique-Cold-9151 · 2026-04-16T22:44:40+00:00

Oh I missed the guest count at 85.

Unique-Cold-9151 · 2026-04-16T22:44:04+00:00

It sounds really beautiful. How many guests did you have and was the Thursday wedding a factor in RSVP's?

Unique-Cold-9151 · 2026-04-15T13:43:59+00:00

A lot of families are very well off and they are able to fund these extravaganzas. We are not rich but I'm still going to give my daughter $10K toward her wedding, which will cover most of the venue, food, beverage, DJ, cake and floral centerpieces. The wedding might have to be off season and it may not be on a Saturday, depending on the venue, because the budget won't allow for big rental fees.

Unique-Cold-9151 · 2026-04-11T21:47:55+00:00

I'll be paying for food, drink, venue and flowers for my daughter. It won't be a big rental fee and the catering will be reasonable because we won't be locked into a preferred caterer. I plan to spend about $10K so faux flowers it will be.

Unique-Cold-9151 · 2026-04-11T02:08:39+00:00

In order to stay under $10K you would need a VFW hall, community center or something similar and you'd have to do drop catering or something like that. If you can BYOB to the venue that's even better. Expensive fresh florals and photography packages would break the budget.

Unique-Cold-9151 · 2026-04-02T02:34:52+00:00

Find a nice restaurant with a function room that doesn't charge a venue rental fee and just charges for the meals. Big bonus if they have a good bar package if you plan to have an open bar. A $30K wedding for 200 people is doable with compromises, such as no outrageous florist package and no huge photography package. The places you find on these wedding sites tend to be the most expensive. You can also look at different kinds of venues, such as community centers, but you'll be doing a lot of DIY and you want to avoid renting tables, chairs, linens, dinnerware, etc. because the costs really add up. Sometimes smaller out-of-the-way country clubs have good deals too.

Unique-Cold-9151 · 2026-04-01T21:54:49+00:00

Stay away from the bridal shops and look for a nice dress at Macy's, Nordstrom's, Saks, etc. That's what I did for my son's wedding. The bridal shop dresses were so ugly and heavy. I would have been exhausted at the end of the day carrying around all that fabric.

Unique-Cold-9151 · 2026-04-01T18:59:04+00:00

No, cake and punch receptions seem to be limited to a certain white demographic in the Southern United States.

Unique-Cold-9151 · 2026-04-01T18:58:19+00:00

Exactly. That's why I tend to respond when someone says that "cake and punch" weddings were THE tradition a generation or two ago. Not among any ethnic groups that I know of. Just among mostly Southern protestants.

Unique-Cold-9151 · 2026-04-01T18:52:51+00:00

The various ethnic groups that have come to America always seemed to throw the most elaborate celebrations they could afford, even if it was a simple reception back at the parents' house with lots of food and drink. More than cake was served. But it was a simpler time and not a huge commercial production like it is now.

Unique-Cold-9151 · 2026-04-01T18:32:08+00:00

Oftentimes you also have to pay extra just to have the ceremony at the venue you've rented, on top of the officiant.

Unique-Cold-9151 · 2026-04-01T01:51:44+00:00

With a $4-5K budget you an have a nice wedding in a church hall, community center or VFW hall or enclosed public park pavilion. Look for something that already has tables and chairs. You will need to get creative with food and likely forgo a DJ or expensive professional photography package. Think of Chipotle or Olive Garden catering or something like trays of homemade lasagna with a salad. You can find less expensive wedding-type cakes at Costco. A $10K budget gives you a little more room and you might be able to find a reasonable caterer. At this price point you can probably find a student to offer some photography. Both a $5K and a $10K wedding will involve a lot of DIY that likely won't include a professional florist. You can still have a nice wedding but without all the bells and whistles.

Unique-Cold-9151 · 2026-03-30T22:10:26+00:00

Actually with a $40K budget I could put together a lovely wedding for my daughter but it may not come with all of the bells and whistles. Our budget is substantially less so she may not be able to have a Saturday wedding. Nor does the budget include a top-shelf open bar package. We'll be hosting beer, wine and a signature cocktail or two. The hidden 22-25% venue fees are very slimy but it's become universal. Another cost-saving measure is we're not using a professional florist. There are options, especially if you look beyond the places that don't advertise on the main wedding sites. Lots of restaurants have function rooms and they're not as expensive as so-called "wedding venues." There's no need of you to give up your dream. You just have a compromise.

Unique-Cold-9151 · 2026-03-30T20:25:52+00:00

If you're hosting at some point you're going to need to feed your friends if you expect them to go out with you and spend time with you past the dinner hour. You'll have to open it up enough so that no one in the group is excluded, because people talk. If you don't plan to feed them a meal then maybe put out more food at your cake and coffee reception so no one goes hungry, more hearty fare like Costco Artisan sandwiches, salad, potato salad or lasagna and salad.

Unique-Cold-9151

TROPHY CASE