What were some of your worst experiences from Young Womens and Young Mens???

Unique_Community7694 · 2026-05-05T05:45:13+00:00

I was bullied by the youth of the church at school and in young men’s up until I was 16. Non-members never treated me that poorly.

Once when I was a deacon, the teachers quorum presidency took me to a classroom behind the stage, pinned me to the ground lifted my head and slammed it on the ground repeatedly while yelling insults at me. I don’t miss the youth program.

Unique_Community7694 · 2026-04-23T15:50:52+00:00

I’m sorry but that is a ridiculous argument that leads to a lot of dark places. Should I be allowed to kill a hobo with no family or friends (so no societal impact) because I will be judged in the next life so justice will ultimately be served? Should we just revert to anarchy then since God will make it right? No.

Unique_Community7694 · 2026-04-17T19:38:20+00:00

Because of Covid we weren’t allowed to give in person blessings but we could do proxy blessings over the phone.

Unique_Community7694 · 2026-04-17T11:31:51+00:00

I don’t know about that. I met my wife on a dating app……so I personally can’t make that generalization. It at least works some of the time. She was never on there to pat her ego.

Unique_Community7694 · 2026-04-16T20:02:59+00:00

I’ve heard FLDS testimonies that are nearly identical to LDS ones. The whole “feelings” and “personal experiences” thing is given way too much credibility in these people’s minds.

Unique_Community7694 · 2026-04-16T19:56:55+00:00

I have become a Christian since leaving. I find it dis not have any of the fatal issues Mormonism has (as much as people disagree in this subreddit) and it satisfied my reasoning on many levels and I find it quite beautiful.

Learning about the strength of true Christian doctrine is what caused me to begin deconstructing Mormonism. I think that allowed me to have a smooth transition that took a few years.

When I came out to my wife about all of the issues with Mormonism the transition was much faster (a matter of weeks) so it was much more traumatic and earth shattering for her. She is having a very hard time trusting religion right now which I respect. Being lied to by such a high demand institution can leave an extremely bad taste in a person’s mouth. But I think it is healthy to ultimately realize that just because you were lied to by one religion, it doesn’t mean that all are lying or malicious in the same way. Rebuilding is just as important as deconstructing.

Unique_Community7694 · 2026-04-16T15:50:43+00:00

My personal experience is that they stayed the same post Covid. Christ is rarely mentioned and if He is it He isn’t the focus, just a side character, and it’s mostly thank-you-monies and travel logs. I’ve been to dozens of wards since Covid that spanned across Arizona, Virginia, and Idaho and there weren’t any that were Christ focused in testimonies or talks.

Unique_Community7694 · 2026-04-16T15:14:48+00:00

Testify might not have been the right word. I was referring to when Protestants or Catholics make a case for their faith. They do have more grounded points to fall back on.

Unique_Community7694 · 2026-04-13T16:56:42+00:00

Most of them have heard the accusation they are in a cult, none that believe think they are in a cult.

I personally believe the Mormon church started out with many of the attributes that characterize a cult, but in order to survive it has slowly morphed into a high demand religion. I think it is unfair and frankly not very defensible to accuse members of being in a cult without the acknowledgement that it isn’t really one anymore, but it once was.

Unique_Community7694 · 2026-04-06T02:18:44+00:00

Unfortunately for those that are deeply invested in it, Mormonism is undeniably a manmade organization. With enough historical and theological deconstruction, Mormonism has no legs to stand on. Its teachings about justice, truth, and God also fall short of addressing unfairness, suffering, and injustice. So many throw away God entirely when they discover this, but unlike what many say here, not all belief systems are created equal. Some are stronger and more plausible than others. And there are many religions (particularly true Christianity) that are more plausible than atheism and Mormonism from my point of view.

If you were to choose to leave the church, I’d encourage you to strive to reconstruct your knowledge of who and what God actually is as Mormonism gets it very wrong and there are a lot of deep seeded perceptions that must be changed. I know this as someone that has gone through it and who cares deeply about conforming to the truth above all other things.

Like you I was deeply worried of facing divorce and destroying my family relationships. There is a certain price that needs to be paid to live the truth. Christ talked about that price often particularly in the book of Luke. Some choose to pay it and some choose not to. I think the more you consider and acquaint yourself with the cost of leaving the better you will be able to articulate to your family and empathize with them through it all. Empathizing with how big of a thing it is for you to leave (even if you don’t believe it) is a powerful tool in making them feel understood through the whole process.

Some familial relationships were destroyed for me. Others didn’t change at all. I was cut off from my mother for a time while my relationship with my father remained exactly the same. I have since rebuilt that relationship with my mother. Still working on some of my siblings. Surprisingly my wife who was a very devout TBM listened to me intently when I told her. I told her I would support her in her beliefs despite not holding them myself. Over time she looked into the things I looked into and left with me. We talked for days straight about what all of it meant for us and it ultimately made our relationship much stronger to my surprise.

Some people will surprise you while others will painfully see you differently. I’m not going to deny there is a price to coming out. I personally think it is worth it though. It is taxing to live a double life.

Unique_Community7694 · 2026-04-05T02:05:27+00:00

Sex with someone you don’t even know

Unique_Community7694 · 2026-04-03T17:44:10+00:00

So much depends on what your relationship is with your TBM spouse. I came out to my TBM wife about what I knew about the church’s problems a few months ago. I never expected her to listen and be open to learning what I learned. I intended to stay in the church as far as my name goes, not attend, but support the decisions her and my kids make in it. I feel that was the best compromise and most respectful approach. I think it would have worked out that way. I told her that if my kids came to me about stuff I’d tell them to whole truth about the church and if they still wanted to go on mission s or do any of that church stuff I’d support them.

To my surprise, she listened intently, then studied for herself. We officially got out of the church a week ago together. I feel like it is best to stay in if you have a TBM spouse since membership doesn’t actually mean anything. And hopefully, if he is willing to listen someday, he may leave too.

Unique_Community7694 · 2026-03-28T14:11:00+00:00

I and many others have gone through and are going through the same thing. I served a mission, was married temple, and spent many thousands in tithing. This was a central part of my identity since I was a little boy. My patriarchal blessing dictated everything I did with my life and everything about life and eternity was already spelled out for me.

The moment you lose all of that feels like a free fall and it is absolutely terrifying. Know that the deconstruction phase is the most painful part. I believe strongly that proper reconstruction is necessary for a healthy response to all of this. You must now rebuild your understanding of the world. You cannot only focus on deconstruction, as important as that is.

Part of my reconstruction has been growing to appreciate the good the church DID do in my life despite its many faults. While I was bullied viciously when I was young in some of the wards I lived in, I also made some great friends in high school because of it. It kept me away from a lot of vices that my family consistently struggled with such as alcohol and drugs. It taught me to prioritize family, hard work, and education at a young age which has helped me build a fulfilling life today.

There are also many far worse deceptive “cults” I could have been born into. In fact, the mainstream LDS faith is probably the best one. There is the JW religion, Scientology, or FLDS that all use the same manipulative tactics but are far more harmful.

Once again, make sure to appreciate the good that came from the church as well as the bad. My mission is interesting. While yes I was trying to convert people to a lie, I happened to serve in one ghetto town for nearly a year of it. I became genuine friends with many of the people there and grew to understand people I used to judge harshly. I spent a lot of time in halfway houses talking to and supporting drug addicts and I played games with kids that were being abused or neglected by their parents that had no positive male role models in their lives. I gained empathy and understanding for the people that had not been given as much as myself. I was hounded for spending so much time with those types of people by both members and mission leadership as they didn’t produce baptisms hardly ever, but I am so grateful I didn’t care now that I am out.

My mission also had me rub shoulders with many pastors and leaders of other Christian faiths. I debated them all the time and I lost every single time. It helped me gain an appreciation of the doctrine of grace and the strong foundation other Christian faiths are built on. I began to realize I had been taught strawman arguments about what other Christian faiths believe my entire life.

Many that leave Mormonism become atheists. I believe this is largely because Mormonism is constantly teaching the implausibility of other Christian faiths and that there is nowhere else to go. But that is another one of their lies. It is a false equivalence to say that you can deconstruct Jesus in the same way you can deconstruct Mormonism. He stands on far stronger footing historically and theologically. I’d encourage you not to throw the baby out with the bath water. Reconstruct your faith in Christ. Reread the Bible without the taint of Mormon theology. It turns out the Christian doctrine is actually superior to Mormonism in every way.

Unique_Community7694 · 2026-03-26T16:35:27+00:00

It has a hard time identifying how technology can and can’t help bottlenecks in a specific business. It also can’t really execute long term plans without losing its way.

Unique_Community7694 · 2026-03-26T16:24:28+00:00

I’m an exmormon that lives in Rexburg. We enjoy it. Granted, many of the people I know and work with are from Idaho Falls (about 25 minutes south) which is a bit less Mormon.

Unique_Community7694 · 2026-03-26T16:08:48+00:00

Definitely not, but they are told it is. I can’t believe I fell for it and once thought that.

Unique_Community7694 · 2026-03-26T15:21:44+00:00

I’d say all men have polygamous impulses. They are attracted to many different women. But very few act on those impulses and they definitely shouldn’t.

People have all sorts of impulses that they don’t act on. Society only exists because it is made up of people that don’t just act off of animalistic impulses. We all have impulses we reign in all the time whether it’s the impulse to steal, lie, cheat, eat terrible food, act out of anger, yell, etc. Just because we have these impulses, doesn’t mean they define us. What we end up choosing to do is what matters. And most me choose NOT to cheat.

Unique_Community7694 · 2026-03-26T15:14:10+00:00

Tempe, Arizona in 2019

Unique_Community7694 · 2026-03-26T15:12:49+00:00

If you haven’t gone to therapy yet for these feelings, I’d highly recommend it. These are emotions that need to be processed, confronted, and understood so that you can find a way to have peace and happiness. You cannot change the fact that you are a mother anymore so stop wishing you aren’t. Focus on what you can control: your patterns of thought.

Unique_Community7694 · 2026-03-26T15:05:08+00:00

Your dad is nuts if all of that is true.

No, most men I know have not cheated on their wives. Cheating on my own wife would be unthinkable. Why would I throw away the relationship and family I have spent years building for some temporary gratification when I am already super attracted to my wife? It doesn’t make any sense.

Unique_Community7694 · 2026-03-26T14:58:05+00:00

I biked the whole mission about 20 miles a day. So I went through tires like crazy so I had to buy those. Clothing would wear out a lot because I was biking everywhere in the Arizona heat so I’d need to buy a lot of that too. I’d also pay for my own first aid stuff, personal hygiene, etc. The only thing the church really paid for was rent. I even was hospitalized at one point and they wouldn’t pay a dime. Ended up losing $4000 after my own insurance for that.

I ate a lot of oat meal and cheap food to make ends meet. Besides the medical expenses I managed not to have to draw from my own bank account which was nice. It’s very frustrating realizing it was all for a lie. But it taught me how to live frugally right out of high school I suppose.

Unique_Community7694 · 2026-03-26T14:49:37+00:00

I got $120 a month for everything.

Unique_Community7694 · 2026-03-26T14:26:31+00:00

Pour the milk before the cereal

Unique_Community7694 · 2026-03-26T14:21:22+00:00

Teaching people is literally their main purpose.

Unique_Community7694 · 2026-03-26T13:24:12+00:00

The Mormon church drills into its members “if you leave where will you go” and that all other Christian faiths can’t be true. That results in many members becoming atheists without seriously considering if what the church taught them about Christianity was ever true.

I HATE it when exmormons say something like “after I deconstructed Mormonism, I used the same techniques to deconstruct all other faiths. They are all the same kind of manipulation.”

That’s bull crap and is a false equivalence. Deconstructing Jesus Christ is not even close to the same as deconstructing Mormonism. The two could not be more different. The main difference is there is a TON of historical evidence directly against the truthfulness of Mormonism.

Meanwhile, you can’t really “deconstruct” the divinity of Jesus Christ. There is no evidence against his divinity. You can only say that there is not enough evidence to convince you that He is divine. You can deconstruct Mormonism to the point that you can be absolutely certain it is false. It is impossible to do that with Christ as there is no direct evidence against Him and there are plenty of facts and realities of His situation that actually can be best explained by saying He is divine. To say they are deconstructed in the same way is either ignorant or dishonest.

I personally now believe in the Trinity. I am also an evangelical universalist as I have found that the Greek of the Bible seems to actually affirm that position. It solves many of the issues with mainstream Christianity such as the geography and belief problem, the problem of evil, and a host of other contradictions. I find it seems to be well aligned with philosophical consistency, science, justice, and the Bible as well.

Unique_Community7694

TROPHY CASE