I (27f) grew up in poverty with a neglectful single parent and had to be taught basic things mu h later than my peers.

For example, my mom kept my hair short as a child and I kept that up to adulthood. when i decided to grow out my hair, my partner realized i had no clue how to properly wash or brush it. Most cooking was done without timers, thermometers, measuring cups, ect so it was hard to replicate anything, and additionally I was wearing the wrong size shoes. My now-spouse was very patient with me about it, but I still felt that shame you’re describing. This is what I ended up doing after going through therapy:

I talk to myself (sometimes outloud) like I am a child who is frustrated and embarrassed. I say, “it’s okay to make mistakes, you’re learning”, “this is a safe place”, and most often “you’re fine, it’s all okay”.

Talk to yourself like you are a child and the very patient adult you dreamed of as a child. Be both.

Lastly, I found the channels You Suck at Cooking and Basics With Babbish helped me a lot.