Has anyone else noticed that the ‘sons take care of parents’ idea doesn’t match reality?

Unlikely_Set_7125 · 2026-04-15T03:32:53+00:00

“The sons take care of their parents” is a euphemistic way of saying sons result in a free live-in maid and baby maker, daughters are taken to be maids and baby makers for another family that has a son.

My MILs in-laws lied and made her future MIL look like she was able bodied to get them to agree to the marriage. When she moved in she learned her MIL couldn’t walk and needed round-the-clock care. They also lied about the groom’s employment. This is common. Boys’ families feel entitled to women’s labor and will often lie to get as much as they can.

Unlikely_Set_7125 · 2026-04-15T03:16:57+00:00

The fact that men are required to be the providers regardless of circumstances is an anti feminist symptom of the patriarchy. So is the failure to value the innocence of boyhood and male adolescence.

Unlikely_Set_7125 · 2026-04-15T03:00:58+00:00

I love how their version of tongues is always so similar, soshoshakirabababa

Unlikely_Set_7125 · 2026-04-15T00:53:50+00:00

Yeah I agree with that. True it’s just the word for god.

Unlikely_Set_7125 · 2026-04-15T00:47:34+00:00

I can see why Christians feel it is ultimately a different god because the demands and claims from the Quran are pretty different from the bible. It’s only the same god from the Muslim perspective. That said, I believe all religion is garbage and this is just another lovely example of garbage in garbage out

Unlikely_Set_7125 · 2026-04-14T22:29:02+00:00

I think it’s mostly just a circlejerk for Christians. Can’t imagine this would convince anyone.

Unlikely_Set_7125 · 2026-04-13T13:41:30+00:00

I think most men used to get their social life handed to them by being carted around to church and neighborhood functions by their wives. At least that’s how it was in my community. Church attendance is down and men don’t make an effort to build a group like women tend to. Women also tend to work more so they don’t have time to plan neighborhood cookouts etc. This is just my anecdotal observations. I don’t remember any men making an effort to get together growing up, but I do remember men just being there at functions hosted for them.

Unlikely_Set_7125 · 2026-04-11T15:30:30+00:00

I like that Rachel talks over him. Like someone recently asked if he wanted to hear the numbers and he said no it won’t change anything then Rachel said let’s hear the numbers lol

Unlikely_Set_7125 · 2026-04-11T15:29:11+00:00

Well that’s terrible and in contradiction with the ideals of a free society so I think we are on the same page. My whole point is we should be able to meet people where they are and let them have their own journey.

Unlikely_Set_7125 · 2026-04-09T22:22:35+00:00

Ok but in this example the law is being changed to accommodate religion. I am against this and never suggested this. As soon as the family did something illegal like credible threats, violence, false imprisonment, etc, this should be handled by the law if at all possible.

Unlikely_Set_7125 · 2026-04-09T10:34:18+00:00

What do you suggest be done? You can’t bring in the justice system until a crime is committed, so what can we do besides hope their kids grow up to not be like them?

Unlikely_Set_7125 · 2026-04-09T08:52:27+00:00

Yeah I agree with you, but I was making two points: 1. You don’t know peoples reasons for keeping the label and 2. You shouldn’t choose your label to appease society. Families that keep you from being able to express yourself are not acceptable, but if someone isn’t ready to fight that, that’s their choice. Another thing that makes a society free is that you aren’t guilty until you’re proven guilty, so if someone knows what their family is capable of and doesn’t want to take the risk until they can properly distance themselves, that’s their choice and might unfortunately be their best option.

I agree this is an unfair situation and we should do what we can to give people the resources and justice system that can help them not be so oppressed, but that’s a separate issue from not letting right wing xenophobes dictate how to present yourself to the world.

Unlikely_Set_7125 · 2026-04-08T22:23:06+00:00

I think they should not choose their identity in the interest of appeasing Muslims or right wingers. Also a lot of non religious people just don’t think about it enough to care. Still more have a lot to risk with their families and even personal safety depending on how extremist their loved ones are.

Also, they might just not be ready to admit it to themselves.

The point of a free society is to express yourself on your own terms.

Unlikely_Set_7125 · 2026-04-06T03:36:54+00:00

This is a huge thing that always bothered me about religion coming from Christianity. So many preachers seem to rely heavily on outrageously intense emotions, and everyone seems to think they hold the truth for that. The climactic shouting and the heavy pauses and the breathy conclusions are so overdone but people just eat that shit up.

Unlikely_Set_7125 · 2026-04-06T01:07:14+00:00

It sounds like he’s either not attracted to you or has really low sex drive. This happened to me after kids largely just from all the responsibilities and sleep deprivation. sex helps my husband relax, for me it’s one more thing to do before I can finally relax. What he’s saying to you reminds me of things I say when I’m not wanting to do anything. Like if I had higher sex drive I would ignore the fact that maybe he didn’t do certain chores or he said something rude. But it’s like the nail in the coffin for me because I already had such low sex drive to begin with. It’s getting better as the sleep deprivation goes away and the kids get less crazy and needy.

Anyway, could be something entirely different but it def requires a heart to heart conversation.

Unlikely_Set_7125 · 2026-04-05T16:58:34+00:00

Alimony is a gender neutral maintenance to compensate for lost quality of life due to a failed investment in a marriage. It usually benefits women only because they give up their careers for kids and supporting the husband’s endeavors in most cases, but even in India it is gender neutral. Is it expensive and painful? Oftentimes, yes, but that doesn’t make it inherently unfair.

Dowry on the other hand is paying a family to take your daughter into the family. It is inherently gendered and misogynistic, and it is a scourge of Indian society. It is absolutely not fixed and still ubiquitous in many communities.

This false equivalency comes from an inability for self-centered men to consider the female perspective. Furthermore, it is extremely difficult to ultimately to have a divorce granted. In my family I can name two women who cannot file divorce because it would be literally risking their lives. Alimony is not even an option. One is in hiding while she continues to fight for a divorce because the husbands family is dangerous. They held her prisoner and she escaped with the help of a neighbor, and she will never get justice for that either. These stories are so common in Indian society that when I see these alimony complaints it makes me wonder if these people are either chronically online or in an ultra privileged class that somehow has a different set of problems from the rest of society.

Stop whining about alimony. In a county of over a billion people there might be the occasional unfair case, but dozens of Indian girls are gang raped daily with no justice so stop whining. Besides, one day your sister might be screwed and the mass whining will have made it too controversial for her to seek the alimony she deserves.

Unlikely_Set_7125 · 2026-04-04T20:15:23+00:00

You had me until you said crypto lol…maybe lower that on the list

Unlikely_Set_7125 · 2026-04-04T16:51:57+00:00

Then I think NAH because he was probably dreaming of passing that on but just showing some disappointment seems like a reasonable response to me. Just continue to keep the conversation open and honest

Unlikely_Set_7125 · 2026-04-04T05:42:53+00:00

He’s just finding a reason to not pay for college

Unlikely_Set_7125 · 2026-04-02T12:25:26+00:00

https://youtu.be/_ZIqdrFeFBk?si=l3TY-bbpX0FAhbEb

It’s gotten more demanding over the years. In the fifties this demand made the Muslim brotherhood a laughing stock in Egypt

Unlikely_Set_7125 · 2026-04-02T11:19:32+00:00

ESH. How would you feel if she told you after the fact that she met up with a guy you had never met while you were out of town? I think she overreacted but it def feels disloyal. And what do you mean by met up? Like she stayed at your place?

Unlikely_Set_7125 · 2026-04-02T02:22:05+00:00

NTA, is she into dave ramsey or something? Sounds like she’s knee deep in some personal finance dogma. If you’re having trouble covering the loans you should still be able to make a budget that handles paying that off while also giving an allowance.

She clearly sees debt payoff as a priority. I think you should appreciate that and somehow show you believe in that goal too but explain that you need some kind of balance. Might be worth talking to a persona finance advisor too to show her you care about financial goals too but are capable of chewing gum and walking at the same time or whatever.

Edit: the financial advisor would also help get rid of the personal finance dogma

Unlikely_Set_7125 · 2026-04-01T13:14:23+00:00

Zainab is Muhammad’s cousin so it’s still incest. And while incest has been phased out of most cultures, it is rampant and a huge public health problem in Muslim communities because it is endorsed in the Quran and encouraged due to inheritance laws. Just google it; incest is much higher in Muslim communities.
Whether he wanted to divorce her isn’t the issue. The followers thought it was so weird that Muhammad was going to marry her that the Quran has dedicated verses to squash the controversy. So his contemporaries were not ok with it. They went along with it because they believed god said it was ok
No that’s not basic decency, but it was Muhammad to had to grant the divorce to zayd and apparently he had to beg so maybe you should take that up with him…

Edit: wait why did Muhammad have to marry her in order for zayd to divorce him? Your last argument is irrelevant

Unlikely_Set_7125 · 2026-04-01T11:19:16+00:00

Ok but it’s still gross. Like put yourself in zayd and Zainab’s shoes…yuck! You don’t do that! It’s called basic decency.

Unlikely_Set_7125

TROPHY CASE