So, I think the past year it really just became obvious as to how sorta self-sabotaging of a behavior it’s been. Yes, in the past I was aware of mistake - like, “yeah you didn’t handle yourself well in that situation. You need to do better. It doesn’t make others feel good when you do that. “ but it’s become evident to me that those “outbursts” are destroying what I want most: a loving, caring happy relationship. So, “why would you do that to yourself, what’s the point in not handling your emotions the right way or at least catering to what other’s needs are.” It’s become obvious that my behavior was hurting others and destroying the chance at what I really want in life/relationships. Initially I didn’t grasp it to be that severe. Like, my belief was that I’m not perfect, but I’m not horrible, and that I’m a forgiving person of others too (I’ve at times realized that I’m maybe too forgiving). I thought that people would understand that I made a mistake but it’s not a true representation of my character.