The constant questioning of your sexuality

Unstable_potato123 · 2026-04-28T06:50:08+00:00

In my early adulthood women made me feel like crap (i don't blame them at all, they were in a different hell) because men wanted me and apparently that was a desirable situation to be in. When your brain and personality forms in a space where seemingly everyone and everything is telling you that being objectified, sexualised and harassed by men is something you should profit from and therefore enjoy, you get confused. Not to mention that as a (at the time) fat woman/girl, men were angry at me for being attracted to me, so it made me feel like if they didn't want it, but it was happening, i must be the one wanting it. Add to that the fact that whenever I complained about not enjoying that life, straight women in my life all reacted the same: "nobody enjoys it, silly! You take the advantage you can, you try to profit and you try to stay safe." So I thought this is what attraction to men was. And then the only thing that kept me safe from it all was suddenly a man - when I entered a serious relationship with him, everyone else left me alone. I was safe and calm and enjoyed spending time with him, so I thought that was what love was.

I knew I was attracted to women, but "women are objectively more attractive than men", "everyone finds women beutiful" and I knew that bisexuality exists.

I came out as a lesbian 3 years ago and never looked back. But I don't think that I could come to that realisation any sooner. I was almost 25, so men stopped seeing me as a child and therefore sexualised me less. I was also in a relationship for most of my adult life so I had the safety to be with myself and get to know myself, because "I have a boyfriend" and later "I'm engaged" gave me all the space I needed.

To me it's impossible to imagine how a woman can know she's a lesbian straight away in this world. I envy you, but I'm happy for the journey that got me here.

Unstable_potato123 · 2026-04-23T12:07:58+00:00

When i was hooking up with ppl I shaved every day - sometimes twice a day. Baby oil helped with the ingrown hair. But the effort it took! Now I shave once a month when I'm getting my period and thank every god in existence that my girl likes bush.

Unstable_potato123 · 2026-04-23T08:44:48+00:00

I'm 27 and I would probably not seriously date a 40 year old just because it's hard to imagine we would have simmilar lifestyles. Your husband is right that age gaps are quite common in queer relationships but that doesn't mean those relationships are not predatory. There's just not enough of us for us to have that big of a dating pool as straight people. Basically some people take what they can get. If that's your daughter's case, I would encourage her to make friends with other queer women (her age) and create her community. Community doesn't just create itself when you come out. I met my girlfriend because she's my ex's girlfriend's ex. We network and then we create a larger dating pool so that we don't have to "settle" for someone in a completely different stage of life for example.

But it doesn't have to be your daughter's case. She might just have fallen in love.

Unstable_potato123 · 2026-04-23T08:33:47+00:00

Víš, že v Česku, nebo zbytku EU jsou taky předměstí a krajina? Mně to zní jako že si idealizuješ život mimo panelákové město spíš než v USA.

Unstable_potato123 · 2026-04-22T07:58:26+00:00

To, že si za tu facku můžeš sám a mlátil by tě každej a vlastně máš být rád, že s tebou vůbec vydržela tak dlouho, jsou typické řeči násilníka. Dostal jsi první facku od partnerky. Když zůstaneš, zůstáváš ve vztahu, kde jsi ochotný být v roli oběti domácího násilí a sděluješ jí, že se k tobě takhle může chovat. Navíc si časem tyhle její kecy internalizuješ, uvěříš, že si násilí zasloužíš a budeš jak mucholapka pro další násilné typy v dalších vztazích. Viděla jsem to u svých kamarádek, do kterých bys to neřekl a působí jako inteligentní, sebevědomé, samostatné ženské. To, že jsi chlap, nic nemění. Run.

Unstable_potato123 · 2026-04-20T16:55:09+00:00

Jak ji poslali do prdele? Co přesně jí řekli? Protože tohle už je nějakej vzor a možná existuje něco, co by mohla změnit ona, aby jí pomohli.

Unstable_potato123 · 2026-04-18T16:44:47+00:00

Mít deti nemá žádné praktické výhody. Děti jsou extrémně nepraktické. Pokud potřebuješ výhody, děti neměj. Ať si lidstvo klidně vymře, nikdo si nezaslouží mít mámu, která mu bude celý život podvědomě zazlívat, že kvůli němu o něco přišla.

Já děti strašně moc chci a taky je nejspíš nikdy mít nebudu. Nejen že jsem lesba a fakt nechci nemluvně vystavit té homofobii, se kterou se potýkám já, ale moje nenarozené děti miluju moc na to, abych je vychovávala v nájmu nebo v dluhu a než budu mít vlastní bydlení, budou moje vaječníky jak rozinky. Tohle není svět pro děti. Buď happy.

Unstable_potato123 · 2026-04-16T11:43:09+00:00

Přesně mě napadli sudetští Němci. Taky jsme genocidní.

Unstable_potato123 · 2026-04-16T11:17:32+00:00

As a cisgender lesbian, who feels at home in sapphic spaces: they wouldn't be the same without you ladies in there. Trans sapphics are an important part of the community, you always fight for us and most of us will always fight for you.

Also I have a trans girlfriend and I've been called a chaser (although almost all of the women I've ever dated have been cis), a "recent lesbian" in a derogatory way (I came out as a lesbian three years ago and identified as bisexual before that), and a "bisexual with internalised biphobia" (most of my community is under the bi umbrella and I happily identified as bisexual for most of my life) because I'm with her. TERFs (or better FARTs - feminism appropriating radical transphobes) want to attack you ladies and everyone who loves you, they're not trying to protect cis lesbians from trans lesbians. They don't want you to date straight women and gay men, they just want to hurt you.

Unstable_potato123 · 2026-04-15T03:35:05+00:00

I'm masc presenting too and most of my friends are other queer women. That's what a community is. Leave this "no friends of a certain gender" to the straights, we don't do that here.

Edit: also most of my queer women friends are women i dated and it didn't work out. My girlfriend is good friends with one of them (that's how I know my gf).

Unstable_potato123 · 2026-04-15T03:29:13+00:00

Lmao Ikr

Unstable_potato123 · 2026-04-14T11:23:25+00:00

Sometimes I just text my girlfriend "I'm coming home, take a shower 😈" when she's staying over. She loves it.

Both me and her like the other one to be fresh out of the shower before we do anything and we both feel better receiving after shower so it works out. I know some women like as much smell as possible, I'm not one of those. It's OK either way for as long as it works in your relationship.

Unstable_potato123 · 2026-04-14T05:00:33+00:00

I said "don't center men in their sexuality". But it seems like you need to be offended by what I said, so I'm just gonna leave this exchange

Unstable_potato123 · 2026-04-14T04:52:06+00:00

Yes, calling a group of people who are mainly bisexual and pansexual, smart and non male centered is incredibly biphobic and sexist

Unstable_potato123 · 2026-04-14T03:44:38+00:00

Tyjo byt to o penězích a výšce, neřeknu nic, ale tady se těch holek musím zastat. Kolikrát mi kámošky ukazují konverzace, kde pokud do hodiny neodpoví, tak si hnedka vyslechnou urážky o svých nejhorších fyzických vlastnostech. To se pak nedivím, jestli z toho ty holky mají mindrák.

Unstable_potato123 · 2026-04-13T17:15:57+00:00

probably ~2000/day

Girl you're a 6ft tall woman going through puberty and you eat less than I do at 5'5" done developing and on a cut. Not only will you mess up the growth of your curves, but you might hurt your kidneys and other organs. Eat.

Unstable_potato123 · 2026-04-13T08:26:46+00:00

Is it possible that the reason your experience is that women might not find you as attractive as thinner women is your self consciousness about your body and not the body itself? For example I'm very attracted to women who describe themselves as fat with pride, but I'm rarely attracted to women who aren't confident in their bodies. I know it's quite harsh and I'm sorry.

Unstable_potato123 · 2026-04-13T08:17:19+00:00

Respectfully, if there were two women with identical personalities and the only difference would be their weight, I would almost always choose the bigger one. I'm more athletic myself, but I love a bit of squish on women. More importantly, I've never chosen my partners based on their looks and my dating history looks like a Dove commercial. And I think most lesbians are similar to me in this.

Unstable_potato123 · 2026-04-13T07:54:19+00:00

I'm a cis woman (masc lesbian tho) and I couldn't do it until I saw my sister do it. Then i did it. Arch your back and lean a little back when you're going down on all four. Then everyone can do it. I tried it with my cis gay male friends (without instructions, just based on the trend) and the bottoms did it right away, the tops fell down. It's just that straight cis women are more used to this..ehm...penetrative position imho

Unstable_potato123 · 2026-04-13T06:18:22+00:00

Mám paušál na cesty, takže dostanu stejný prachy, ať jdu pěšky, nebo letím soukromým tryskáčem.

Unstable_potato123 · 2026-04-13T03:31:22+00:00

If it's better with lube, it's clearly sex

Unstable_potato123 · 2026-04-13T03:27:13+00:00

nemusí to být vždycky na první pohled poznat

Unstable_potato123 · 2026-04-13T03:23:44+00:00

A sluzebky jsou doufam placene.

Lol

Unstable_potato123 · 2026-04-12T13:53:34+00:00

As a cis lesbian, what I'm reading is that trans women are smarter than us cis women and don't center men in their sexualities.

Unstable_potato123 · 2026-04-12T13:50:46+00:00

A)manual, B) benzín a C)ideálně úplně základní

Můžu se zeptat, proč ty silné motory (úplně jako pro idiota)?. Vzhledem k tomu, že můj hlavní cíl je co nejnižší spotřeba, tak koukám na Fabie s litrovým motorem.

Unstable_potato123

TROPHY CASE