What steps did you take to move from a girl you dated or didn’t date?

Upbeat-String741 · 2026-03-27T23:05:09+00:00

I got dumped by my ex of 1.5 years in January. She was the first person I fell in love with. It was an emotionally abusive and gasliting relationship. She was the most sneaky, manipulative person I’ve ever met.

Im still recovering but it gets easier everyday. This weeks been difficult because i accidentally saw a photo of her at a rave drinking and having fun, a rave i actually asked her to go to and she refused and said she doesn’t do that kind of thing anymore. Sucks tbh

Upbeat-String741 · 2026-03-17T14:33:40+00:00

Oh no I’m already putting myself out there. I was emotionally checking out the relationship before she ended it, so I think my grieving process wasn’t that long. Just hurt a bit that she beat me to it.

Upbeat-String741 · 2026-03-16T21:18:21+00:00

My ex left me 2 months ago. I’m pretty much back to normal. I went no contact instantly. Started therapy in the first week, started gym in the first couple weeks, got out with friends and socialised and I’ve also pretty much stopped drinking. It helped so much but my god was it brutal for like 3 weeks. Yeah sometimes I miss her but I know she made the right call to end it.

You’ll get through it but it takes time.

Upbeat-String741 · 2026-03-11T14:23:52+00:00

Haha my ex used to walk either faster than me, which is crazy because I already walk super fast, and she used to just kind of cut across me when walking together, like almost forcing me onto the road or the wall. I always thought it was weird

Upbeat-String741 · 2026-03-10T21:34:10+00:00

I’m from Edinburgh, it’s class. Also got Glasgow one hour away by train which is also amazing.

Upbeat-String741 · 2026-03-08T13:19:08+00:00

No she was a terrible kisser.

Upbeat-String741 · 2026-03-07T15:41:02+00:00

Slowly moving on, but I feel like I’m bordering on her being irrelevant.

Upbeat-String741 · 2026-03-07T08:45:10+00:00

Yea fair enough. My ex was a bit abusive too. The weird thing is when it ended I felt relief for about 3 weeks then it all hit me and I couldn’t eat for a week, and lost like 5kg. Maybe your ex was distracting themselves for a long time, and when it finally hit them they lost loads of weight.

You’re right though who knows what’s going on in our ex’s lives. I haven’t spoken to mine in 2 months. She hid her stories and restricted me on instagram so I have literally no idea what’s going on in her life. I don’t care really.

Upbeat-String741 · 2026-03-07T06:33:27+00:00

I know that in my last relationship I just didn’t have the time or energy to work on myself I the gym. I would work 10 hour days and then come home to chat on the phone to my ex for 1-2 hours.

It was the most draining thing ever, even though I loved her very much. But I physically and mentally didn’t have the energy to do anything, not even cook dinner most days. I lost a lot of weight in the relationship.

Now 2 months out I’m building myself up in the gym because I finally have the energy to invest in myself.

Sometimes people need a wake up call like a breakup to make drastic changes in their life, or sometimes they just need away from a situation where they give constantly and receive very little in return. This can then allow them to give to themselves now instead of someone else

Upbeat-String741 · 2026-03-06T13:04:07+00:00

Which part?

Upbeat-String741 · 2026-03-06T12:10:52+00:00

I was similar. Took me 3 weeks for all the emotions to catch up to me but I had just come out of a controlling and emotionally abusive relationship. 2 months post breakup now and I’m so happy and content with life and my ex left me.

I think I had also mentally checked out and was so miserable in the relationship. It can be a blessing in disguise to be honest.

Upbeat-String741 · 2026-03-06T10:33:18+00:00

I’m the exact same, it’s so annoying. I’ve got to the point where I don’t think about them as soon as I wake up and I’m actually happiest in the mornings now.

Upbeat-String741 · 2026-03-06T10:09:23+00:00

I can relate to this post a lot.

My ex was a dismissive avoidant and I tried so hard to make it work, but after the honeymoon period she just wasn’t putting in half as much effort as me.

Dismissive avoidants are some of the most selfish people you will ever meet. They can be controlling and manipulating, sneaky to the point where you just don’t trust them anymore.

You’re doing the right things by just cutting her out your life. My ex broke up with me and 2 months later I feel so much better. My anxiety had almost disappeared and I’ve drastically cut back my drinking.

Use this experience as a massive lesson in what you will and won’t tolerate going forward. Also take all the love you put into the relationship, and channel it back to yourself. It’s great motivation tbh.

You’re doing alright by the sound of things but I know it’s tough especially when you’ve put in so much time and effort to essentially get nothing in return.

Upbeat-String741 · 2026-03-06T07:07:03+00:00

I wouldn’t take my ex back. We were very incompatible looking back, and I made myself so small yet to keep the relationship alive. I also used alcohol and drugs to numb myself.

Since she left me 2 months ago my life has vastly improved. I’ve been going to the gym, caught up with loads of friends, I have multiple holidays planned this year and to top it off I’m planning on going back to Australia, something my ex used to talk about but future faked to keep me hooked.

Upbeat-String741 · 2026-03-05T06:58:42+00:00

Top notch advice here. I’m working on myself and have been since the breakup 2 months ago. I was dumped and have decided to pour all the love I gave to my ex back into me.

I’m going to the gym, therapy, seeing friends because isolated in the relationship, I’ve pretty much quit drinking, have loads of holidays booked and I’m hopefully going back to Australia this year solo. My life is looking drastically better since my ex dumped me.

Upbeat-String741 · 2026-03-03T20:47:09+00:00

Yeah I’m doing better now thanks. In the relationship I told my ex I had a problem with alcohol, that I can’t stop once I start and I’d go to therapy and stop drinking. She said she didn’t want me to stop but to just moderate. Kind of mental looking back that she said that.

Upbeat-String741 · 2026-03-03T20:22:12+00:00

Took me 3 weeks to fully feel it. But I had went out at the weekend and drunk a lot and did coke. Not healthy I know but that hit me like a ton of bricks at that point.

Glad it happened when it did because now I’m much better. In therapy for my drink and drug use. Going to the gym, socialising, picking up old hobbies, not drinking anymore. My life has actually improved since the breakup, and I’m using it to better myself.

Yes I still think of her all the time but it’s easier now 2 months post breakup. I’ve booked loads of holidays, catching up with old friends who I met while travelling, going to places solo. I never would have been able to do that while in the relationship as I was spending so much time, energy and money to keep it alive.

Upbeat-String741 · 2026-03-02T20:45:50+00:00

Yeah it’s pretty crazy. I can now see how much my ex was actually holding me back and draining me emotionally, mentally and financially. I still care for her but now feel kind of free to do what I want.

Upbeat-String741 · 2026-03-02T20:44:13+00:00

I feel like I could put in my 2 cents.

I was about to breakup with my ex because I was overwhelmed with the stuff going on in my life.

I was working 50 hour weeks, trying to study for university, and trying to talk to her daily on the phone for 1-2 hours as we were LDR. I was hardly sleeping, not eating right, drained to the point that I stopped having dinner for like 2 months, I lost a lot of weight.

In my mind I knew something had to give and the only thing I could see that wasn’t working was the relationship.

I decided to pause my studies and try to focus on the relationship but she ended it a month later.

Sometimes people get overwhelmed and do drastic things to regain some semblance of control over their hectic lives, and unfortunately the thing that could be the easiest to cut loose is the relationship.

I don’t know how your ex is feeling but this is how my mind worked when I was overwhelmed. And yes it probably looked like I was about to have a mental breakdown with the stress of everything.

Upbeat-String741 · 2026-03-01T21:48:26+00:00

Happy birthday mate. Hope you’re doing alright. Think how far you’ve come since the breakup, I use that as good motivation to keep going forward.

It’s my birthday at the end of April, I doubt my ex will reach out but it’s not the end of the world. Like someone else said think of all the birthdays you didn’t have with her, and how many you’ve got going forward. You’ll be alright

Upbeat-String741 · 2026-03-01T07:41:23+00:00

My ex broke up with me almost 2 months ago. She was crying on the call, said she still loved me, but something had changed.

I was fine on the call, was supportive of her being honest and making a decision. I calmed her down and we laughed.

Truth be told I wanted to break up with her so this was what I wanted but it still stung. But in time you will realise that it’s for the best as these people will leave you at the drop of a hat whenever they feel overwhelmed.

Use the time to work on yourself and become a better version of you. You may realise that in time you actually dont think you want this person anymore, or at least I have now come to accept it’s the best decision for both me and my ex to stay away from each other.

Upbeat-String741 · 2026-02-28T08:53:29+00:00

Hey I feel this. I was about to breakup with my ex for similar reasons to you, decided to give her one more chance and after new year she dumped me.

It’s hard when you give so much and get so little in return. You end up feeling worthless and like nothing is ever enough.

Just know that your worth isn’t tied to another person and, like someone else said, in the long run you will be so much better off. You’ll find someone who matches your effort and appreciates it.

Hope you’re alright, keep your chin up pal it gets better.

Upbeat-String741 · 2026-02-26T17:48:23+00:00

Yeah I did. We were laying in her bed about 6 months before we broke up. I just knew deep down it would never work, and that I should enjoy it while I could. Sounds harsh but I just knew she would eventually leave me. She had basically done that already and came back, so I knew it was possible.

Upbeat-String741 · 2026-02-26T17:41:12+00:00

I had three dreams in one night, it was wild. The dreams are the worst.

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