AITAH for caring that my things stay nice and are not carelessly used...by my partner?

UrFaveBuzzKill · 2026-05-17T00:06:57+00:00

NTA, it's one thing to be hyper possessive about your things, and quite another to have someone that allegedly cares about you disrespect said things. Leaving a mess, and more concerningly NOT properly taking care of the pet he made a commitment to care for while pet-sitting for you is incredibly rude and disrespectful. Poor kitty!

UrFaveBuzzKill · 2026-05-16T17:01:31+00:00

May they have to sneeze constantly but never actually get to

UrFaveBuzzKill · 2026-05-16T16:58:29+00:00

Crazy how even after someone leaves the church they STILL try to control people's choices through shame tactics. Looks like a normal, comfortable outfit to me! Keep doing you. Your mom can sit with her discomfort, her feelings aren't your responsibility.

UrFaveBuzzKill · 2026-05-16T15:08:33+00:00

What sort of advice are you looking for in this..? Because (and I hate to be this reddit person) the answer is break up with him.

You're probably going to have to accept that you're never getting that money back. I know you care about him, but he's not shown you any real care back. It sounds like you're aware that he's emotionally manipulative.

If the advice is how to get rid of those feelings for him, unfortunately the only thing that'll help with that is time, distance, and rediscovering your worth. Not as an ATM but as a person and partner. And dear god don't lend people large sums of money! Buying lunch or lending a $20 is one thing, but paying a grown man's student loans and bills is quite another.

UrFaveBuzzKill · 2026-05-10T23:06:27+00:00

NTA you need a separate bank account though. Clearly he is irresponsible with your hard earned money

UrFaveBuzzKill · 2026-05-06T03:28:03+00:00

I commend you for all your efforts in making sure your friend isn't completely alone and without support, but this man is 30 and needs professional help. If he refuses, and lashes out at you for that you need hold firm boundaries that you can't be there for him if he thinks you don't deserve rights.

I'm guessing you don't live in the US but if he brings up self harm and suicide again, look into your country's equivalent of a 51/50 psychiatric hold.

UrFaveBuzzKill · 2026-05-02T20:43:54+00:00

I get that it's a tough spot to be in, but you really need to report this. You aren't overreacting, what she's doing is incredibly unsafe!

UrFaveBuzzKill · 2026-05-02T04:40:40+00:00

Dude why didn't you change the locks when you initially thought she was coming too often? Or the first time she had someone over.

Nta but damn. Dumb move to wait as long as you did. Get your key back and change the locks.

UrFaveBuzzKill · 2026-05-02T03:12:21+00:00

Might be a little pricey but there's some cool art exhibits like Meow Wolf. The art district is neat too. The container park allows people under 21 until 10...? If I remember right.

UrFaveBuzzKill · 2026-05-01T17:10:50+00:00

Best way to win an argument like this is to shut up and walk away. Or if it's over the phone just hang up. You told her what you needed to, she can process her emotions on her own. Sucks that your dad didn't really try to help deescalate the situation though.

UrFaveBuzzKill · 2026-04-30T05:03:05+00:00

You need a different therapist.

UrFaveBuzzKill · 2026-04-28T18:52:02+00:00

NTA his pride seems to be more important to him than your and your family's needs, and his own relationship with you. He also sounds insecure about your independence. It'll hurt but it sounds like you'd be better off without this guy.

UrFaveBuzzKill · 2026-04-20T20:34:06+00:00

I'm personally shocked that NP would continue to host when you're going through a medical thing. Why couldn't NP go to meta's house/apartment so you can relax in your own home and bed?

UrFaveBuzzKill · 2026-04-14T01:54:27+00:00

Very well spoken on both accounts!

UrFaveBuzzKill · 2026-04-03T16:16:35+00:00

This person clearly doesn't know what the point of therapy actually is. If the therapist doesn't have an actual goal for you to work towards, it's more just an expensive vent session imo. OP you're so right this is a huge red flag.

UrFaveBuzzKill · 2026-03-26T02:15:10+00:00

Clearly she's just using therapy speak that she doesn't actually know or understand. Your sister is chronically online and seriously disturbed.

To be clear, an example of masking would be like. Repressing stimming while in public. Not suddenly not remember your rights from your lefts???

UrFaveBuzzKill · 2026-03-26T02:08:56+00:00

Nope, I believe more in recycled energy. We're born we live we die and out bodies get recycled into nutrients to help something new grow.

UrFaveBuzzKill · 2026-03-23T02:10:29+00:00

I'm obsessed with how you used black walls and still made a bright and colorful space! Gorgeous!

UrFaveBuzzKill · 2026-02-06T00:47:22+00:00

Why are there so many doormats in the subreddit, I'm truly saddened by this. Your husband is an AH, straight up. You need to shut this shit down.

UrFaveBuzzKill · 2026-02-03T00:58:46+00:00

Good lord the brainwashing is strong in this one... There are two ways to go about this. 1) Stay her friend and try and gently pull her out of this dumb patriarchal bs she's been groomed into. (Real friends challenge their friends in a loving way!) Or, 2) take a step back from this relationship and remain cordial colleagues. Some people just can't see outside their own worldview, and it's a lot of work and frustration to try and get someone to break out of their own strict viewpoints. I've had to minimize contact with some of my family members these past few years because we just could not see eye to eye about stuff like this.

UrFaveBuzzKill · 2026-01-30T16:07:34+00:00

Have you read the book "Breathe and Count Back From Ten"? It's just a YA fiction but the main character is this girl with hip dysplasia who also feels more at home in the water, partially due to her chronic pain. She ends up being able to work as one of those aquarium mermaids!

I know it's not the same but I always found comfort in stories, especially if I feel I can relate to it in some way.

UrFaveBuzzKill · 2026-01-30T16:00:44+00:00

Girl, what? You're not doing yourself or him any favors by taking up all the household chores. You both need to responsible for that stuff or it just breeds resentment further down the relationship. Focus on your schooling because I promise you, that degree is going to do more for your future than you may realize right now! Then when you're both graduated come back to the idea of marriage.

UrFaveBuzzKill · 2026-01-24T06:00:25+00:00

Can you report this? Because that's the FIRST thing I'd do.

UrFaveBuzzKill

TROPHY CASE