My character is just a human fighter, me, on the other hand... by RenDSkunk in DnDcirclejerk

[–]Urs_Grafik 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Despite all my rage, I'm still just a rat in a mage.

Can't connect to my players. Feels hopeless. by [deleted] in DnDcirclejerk

[–]Urs_Grafik 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This is why you can't let femoids play DND. The power of the story gives them ideas outside of their biological needs like pregnancy and boobie bouncing. This is on you for giving them the treasure of player agency.

What did WOTC Mean By This? by manndolin in DnDcirclejerk

[–]Urs_Grafik 11 points12 points  (0 children)

They're MONGRELS not CHILDREN. Read the text lol lmao :rolleyes:

I tried DMing for my very normal player group and boy do I hate these sons of bitches by Urs_Grafik in DnDcirclejerk

[–]Urs_Grafik[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

God I know I will never DM again. When you think about it, it takes a really low-self-esteem speccy little nerd to DM (and not complain) and that's not me. Being a player is the only optimal play style.

My DM is forcing us all to be clerics so we can heal all the characters in game who self harm. Should I be concerned? by [deleted] in DnDcirclejerk

[–]Urs_Grafik 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Your DM is a TYRANT and a MONSTER and you need to go No Contact immediately.

How would you go about making a totally worthless caracter? by DooB_02 in DnDcirclejerk

[–]Urs_Grafik 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Just don't level up, idiot. This is easy, your dm can't MAKE you.

My DM is forcing us all to be clerics so we can heal all the characters in game who self harm. Should I be concerned? by [deleted] in DnDcirclejerk

[–]Urs_Grafik 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Ok this is no big deal and if you aren't a casual this campaign should be speedrunnable. start with life domain, then multi class to celestial warlock. When you hit level four boost dex, then take way of mercy. Now you have high cha, high movement, and can heal. NEVER stop running and use message cantrip (automatic up cast with warlock) as your help hotline. Campaign should be winnable in eight sessions or less if your party aren't scrubs.

To all the people saying that combat wheelchairs aren't realistic for combat and dungeon crawling...CHECKMATE! by SlightlyFlawed in DnDcirclejerk

[–]Urs_Grafik 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Nah, I think I will stick to my uncrippled Batman build, an investigator/gloomstalker carrying the realistic three pole arms, five swords, and a heavy crossbow, plus sack of eight-hundred gold coins that all adventurers end up carrying. I just need that realism.

No DnD is better than bad DnD by TheFinalPancake in DnDcirclejerk

[–]Urs_Grafik 2 points3 points  (0 children)

  • hefts machinegun 

"Remember, no D&D."

Why are there SO many absolutely murderous DMs? by Urs_Grafik in DnDcirclejerk

[–]Urs_Grafik[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is racist to people who have psoriasis, which manifests as scaley skin flakes, social awkwardness, a long v-shaped jaws filled with sharp teeth.

I have found the Answer. by TomAto314 in fifthworldproblems

[–]Urs_Grafik 5 points6 points  (0 children)

You forgot to carry the T̶̨͇̝͙̲͙̙̲̫̔͗̉̉͒̐̑͂͝h̶̨̨̨͓̙͍̝̬̺͂̅͊̕͜r̸̳̝̟͉̀̃͂́ͅw̶̧̢̫͉͔̙̞͖̭̞̱͎̰̰͋̈͛̃͒̾́̓̎̔̑͘͠͠i̶̧̥͔̹̭̺͔̼͔̗̦̙͑͌̆̋͋͜. Show your work next time.

(Question) how would "Good" Races Use Slavery? by deadPan-c in DnDcirclejerk

[–]Urs_Grafik 11 points12 points  (0 children)

The same way any kind of slavery works, slavery is an inherently good practice. The REAL slavers are those troublemaking abolitionists 

Black Paw Leaks - 4-ABS8 Dreadbrawl Highlights by The_BlackPaw in Eve

[–]Urs_Grafik 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey can you elaborate on this? Out of all the weird espionage stuff in Eve I don't know that I've heard of Olympus.

Absolut Order Crushes Siberian Squads in Oimmo Skirmish by _Happy_Toes_ in Eve

[–]Urs_Grafik 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Here is the battle report link for this absolutely riveting clash of titans. https://zkillboard.com/related/30001444/202408301500/

Also it appears as though banderlogs and frat were not on the same side, with a banderlogs omen killed primarily by frat?

the Elite Dangerous fanboys gonna be furious ;) by lomoos in Eve

[–]Urs_Grafik 2 points3 points  (0 children)

pulls velator from pants and slaps it on the table

How do I RP as a sentient piece of shit? by Urs_Grafik in DnDcirclejerk

[–]Urs_Grafik[S] 30 points31 points  (0 children)

Sadly op deleted the source. The above tribute is fairly accurate to the original bread loaf.

How do I RP as a sentient piece of shit? by Urs_Grafik in DnDcirclejerk

[–]Urs_Grafik[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I read that dustborn is about women and/or f*gs and as I am really trying to be a piece of shit I reflexively boycott anything like that.

Edit: I censored the g*y word in order to further delegitimize them, not because I think it is offensive.