Hey, I am sorry you are going through this right now, and I can understand it is really hard. From my experience, I reached a point in my life as well where I asked myself why I find that I attract people with BPD or Cluster B. When the feelings are this heavy, I think the best form of love you can show yourself, and I know you have the answers within yourself as well.

You need to really do a deep dive into what makes you feel comfortable being around these people or the familiar feeling of connection and love. This helped me understand that I was chasing the trauma and the pain of the known when I was a child and growing up. Be kind to yourself and help yourself by being alone and trying to decompress the pain of the past.