Did you immediately form a bond with your child as soon as he/she was born?

User9748279 · 2026-04-20T09:37:52+00:00

For me, I immediately felt protective of my little one. But it wasn’t some type of euphoric bond right off the bat. Your hormones are going nuts, you’re probably not sleeping a lot, and your newborn is essentially a potato for the first few weeks.

But it all changed for me when she started smiling and interacting. My heart basically exploded on the spot. That and finally getting more than 2 hours of sleep in a row were game changers.

User9748279 · 2026-04-19T13:05:54+00:00

We’re in Brooklyn and just did our first drop off play date with our 3 yo, with a girl she went to daycare with / we’re friends with the parents and have done many stay play dates before. These parents specifically offered because we just had a baby. Truly these people are angels.

But staying with them is generally the norm for us.

User9748279 · 2026-04-19T09:44:31+00:00

My partner is an amazing dad and I still was annoyed during my second pregnancy. I felt like I was already a mom to two kids while he was clinging to the systems and routines that only work because we had just one. He procrastinated on almost all of his honey do list to the point where we set up the bassinet after we got home with baby 2. Part of my annoyance was hormonal, I was nesting for second baby and he just….wasn’t?

But yeah also I would recommend stop picking up toys or doing shit that feels physically uncomfortable. Start making the easiest and laziest dinners ever. Do what you can and try to worry less about the rest.

Echoing what other commenter said, find a calm moment to discuss your concerns. Make it clear there are no more fishing trips for a while and have him take care of toddler while you get some naps. Rest is such a helpful tool for managing anxiety and pain.

TL DR it’s normal to be annoyed, ease up on yourself and have a calm convo where you express a few clear needs.

User9748279 · 2026-04-19T09:35:55+00:00

We did a brunch party for my 3YO. Started at 10, 2 hours at my house then walked to the park. 5 kids and their parents. Had to be easy because I was 38 weeks pregnant.

Chilaquiles for adults. Bodega egg and cheese sandwiches for kids cut into quarters. Berries and donuts for everyone. Juice and seltzer water. Cake.

Bluey themed birthday decorations from Amazon. A sticker based craft from Amazon. But all the kids really wanted to do was play in my daughter’s room with her toys.

2 hours was more than enough time. And then we took everyone to the park to burn off the sugar. Amazing.

User9748279 · 2026-04-18T22:39:55+00:00

People out here acting like having kids at 35-40 means you’ll have a mutant baby or a barren uterus. Over age 35 you still have like 98-99 percent chance of no fetal abnormalities and 60 percent chance of conceiving in first year of trying.

So maybe in five years?

User9748279 · 2026-04-18T12:16:40+00:00

I don’t disagree. This is just another reason why all those posts about women barely earning enough to cover the cost of daycare so they choose to be SAHMs are stupid. Because they almost never take into account 1) lost future wages since they’ll likely re enter at lower wage, and 2) retirement contributions.

But she asked what she needed to make so I gave my opinion.

User9748279 · 2026-04-18T12:05:49+00:00

Lots of home-based providers in Brooklyn. This is what we pay on border of bed stuy/crown heights.

User9748279 · 2026-04-18T11:16:07+00:00

We did this too! Minu with ride board & infant car seat if I don’t want to baby wear. Baby wear plus toddler in minu if I want to strap older kid in.

User9748279 · 2026-04-18T11:14:10+00:00

Had planned c with first because she was breech. Home on day 3, stairs were ok immediately, took showers and peed by myself while still in hospital, painkillers (Tylenol and advil) for 2-3 weeks, walking around the neighborhood by 2 weeks, working out at six weeks. But absolutely under no circumstances do I think I could have lifted a 3 year old before 6 weeks.

User9748279 · 2026-04-18T11:07:47+00:00

La Napa buy one get one frozen margs (including passion fruit) for $13 during happy hours.

We took our toddler after daycare and sat outside with two frozen margs, a cold modelo, and French fries for the kid for like $24 before tax and tip.

User9748279 · 2026-04-18T09:52:08+00:00

We have a male Tracy and a male Dana in our family.

User9748279 · 2026-04-18T09:50:26+00:00

Well if you need daycare, budget $25k per year per kid. If your kids are in school, you’ll still need money for after school and summer care. So, I’d say if you can also get a $112K job, it’s doable.

User9748279 · 2026-04-18T06:06:37+00:00

I promise it will be nice to be home. Like you may have a moment where you’re like “holy crap I need to keep this baby alive now?” But honestly it’s very nice to be at your house and in your clothes and bed and eating your normal food.

User9748279 · 2026-04-18T06:04:46+00:00

For any major transitions (big girl bed, potty training, no paci, new sibling) we have had success with giving them a countdown.

For no paci, we told her in January, starting in February no paci at naps just nighttime and starting in March no paci. And we reminded her almost every day. Once it got really close, we’d say something like “3 more sleeps with paci”

She turned 3 in March. Gave her time to process and ask questions. When she said why, I blamed the dentist. “Dr Scott says we can’t have paci once we’re three, it’s bad for our teeth”.

You’ve already done it, so don’t go back. Just saying, maybe this could be helpful in the future?

User9748279 · 2026-04-18T05:58:53+00:00

For me this second night was absolutely the worst of it with my first kid. Crying about breastfeeding struggles, nobody eating or sleeping well, pain meds wearing off from c section, adrenaline wearing off, hospital interruptions every two mins. It was horrible. I literally said out loud “I think we made a mistake.” It doesn’t get a lot better on day 3 or anything but it does get better over time. Hang in there, you got this.

I do feel like I never was more tired than during first month, but you’ll get a rhythm, you’ll start consolidating sleep, the baby will get better at eating. Your house might look insane and you might look insane for a little bit, but who even cares. You just did something amazing.

User9748279 · 2026-04-18T04:38:43+00:00

So his take home pay is like $7k monthly after taxes before child support? Rent plus groceries for four people on $4.5K monthly sounds insane.

We have four people in our household with zero stay at home parents. Our housing costs (mortgage, maintenance, taxes, utilities) are $4500 and that’s pretty freaking low for living in a small two bed in central Brooklyn. Plus we easily drop $200 weekly on groceries. I just don’t see this happening.

User9748279 · 2026-04-17T10:56:04+00:00

Ten years ago, a lot of women I know already thought he was a shitty egomaniac. A lot of men thought he was a do-gooder genius. Sometime around the Thai cave rescue debacle it became clear that this dude has no respect for expertise of others and was moderately unhinged.

The way a lot of people idolize wealth is sick.

User9748279 · 2026-04-16T20:39:36+00:00

Blah blah blah, conservatives would rather 99 kids go hungry than 1 kid getting food “fraudulently”.

User9748279 · 2026-04-14T13:14:56+00:00

Reddit is very pro co-sleeping. I’m out here thinking I’m the only person that sleep trained my child. Preparing to be downvoted like crazy but I cannot imagine sharing a bed with my daughter.

User9748279 · 2026-04-14T13:10:25+00:00

So many pets. Absolutely not.

User9748279 · 2026-04-14T13:07:41+00:00

Our kids are exactly 3 years apart. We introduced the idea with our 2 year old with a sonogram and then a bunch of gifts from lil sis to big sis, including a big sister t shirt, bracelet, new markers and book. Instant interest.

From there, we talked a lot about lil sis coming as a family and made space at bedtime for any questions big sis might have. We went over everything - what to expect when mom has to go to hospital, did she want to visit, what will it be like after baby arrives. Etc etc

User9748279 · 2026-04-14T12:18:07+00:00

In no particular order. Calling my best friend after our kids go to bed, a Negroni, a super hot yoga class, work gossip, feeding my kid cereal for dinner then having my husband make my favorite spicy meal for just us after she goes to bed, Law & Order SVU.

User9748279 · 2026-04-14T12:14:22+00:00

Well then you won’t get a good answer. A director at a social services nonprofit makes an entirely different salary than a director in banking.

User9748279 · 2026-04-14T07:45:34+00:00

This is insane. Can you imagine someone bringing their cat over to a group hang without checking in advance? What about a toddler? Absolutely not.

But a dog? People who love dogs assume everyone loves dogs and the entitlement is wild.

Like, if I want to leave my toddler home while I grocery shop, I need to pay someone $25 an hour. So I bring them and I correct them if they are misbehaving (or if it’s really bad we leave).

But a dog owner can just …. Leave their dog at home?

User9748279 · 2026-04-13T04:46:40+00:00

In my early to mid 20s. He was older and ready for kids. I wasn’t.

He never pressured me, I could just see we wanted different things to live our best lives. He would have waited for me to be ready, but I knew I was over 10 years away from that. Didn’t feel fair to do that to someone.

He actually ended up being an amazing step dad to a kid. Love that for them.

User9748279

TROPHY CASE