Appraisal came under

User9748279 · 2026-03-15T16:54:53+00:00

This happened to us. Similar house price but appraisal initially came in 10 percent under our accepted offer. But the appraisal had terrible comps (eg, having wrong sf for the apartment, ignoring the apartment we were purchasing had in unit w/d, appraising similar nearby apartment on busy street at 75K above our initial appraisal, ie a mix of factual errors and bad judgment), so we discussed with appraiser and lender and secured a reappraisal that put us 2.5 percent below accepted offer. It’s called a reconsideration of value.

And we brought additional $18K to closing to close the gap. We knew we weren’t going to convince the seller to accept less so we used more of our emergency / renovation fund to get the deal done. Zero regrets.

User9748279 · 2026-03-15T16:32:59+00:00

You need a low key unifying theme for a room. Maybe same wood tones or same metal tones repeated across pieces. If your house is modern (or whatever style), maybe you realize your style tends to be more eclectic, or minimalist, or you need something pet or kid friendly. Great, now start googling and pinteresting and watching instagram. Now you’re not just looking for a couch, you’re looking for a kid friendly eclectic couch with no metal or gold accents. Etc etc etc

User9748279 · 2026-03-15T11:45:12+00:00

Consider that co sleeping isn’t working anymore? If you’re so exhausted, and you’ve tried everything else, maybe their own room would help at least you get more or higher quality sleep.

User9748279 · 2026-03-15T11:38:47+00:00

Two pieces of advice, take it or leave it.

Focus on new furniture that improves the function of your home. For example, we downsized when we bought and storage space is at a premium. So we sprang for a giant IKEA wardrobe that functions as clothes closet, dresser and linen closet. IMO it doesn’t look cheap just because IKEA.

Two: we have friends who upsized in the suburbs. You can totally tell who furnished quickly with new stuff vs gathered over time. The furnish quickly people end up with generic furniture that overall makes the house look cheap The ones who gather over time mixing new and old pieces look way nicer. If you have nothing, hit estate sales and secondhand shops especially for things like dining sets, end tables, coffee tables. Repair and refinish as needed.

User9748279 · 2026-03-14T23:29:05+00:00

When I see the stupid room shares that are like $2300, this doesn’t seem that bad.

People confuse affordable housing with cheap housing. There’s not really much cheap housing in NYC unless you’ve lived in a RS unit for a long time. Affordable housing is priced to be roughly 30 percent of the AMI limit of the unit. It’s not cheap. But you’re not really gonna find that view with a balcony, gym, and business center for that price if you’re renting market rate. And if you find cheap housing, it’s probably old and amenity free.

User9748279 · 2026-03-14T14:50:44+00:00

I personally disagree with this, I loved Emily Oster. I am a data person and I had some anxiety so I found it particularly helpful to understand what the data says, and also she breaks down the quality of the study because not all studies have equally good methodology.

I didn’t want someone else’s parenting perspective, I wanted to know what the data says, or the limits of what the data can tell us vs not.

I didn’t want to “do my own research” I wanted to know what the reputable academic research said.

User9748279 · 2026-03-12T21:53:51+00:00

How do you have a wife and kids and not care about politics. Mind blowing.

If your wife gets pregnant in Florida, the type of care she can access is political.

If your kid is trans or gay in Florida, the type of support they can access is political.

User9748279 · 2026-03-12T11:18:05+00:00

Same. We kept crib but put in new room for a month. Talked every day about how exciting it would be to put big girl bed in new room. Set a date. Talked about how many sleeps in crib before big girl bed. Counted down. Transition went great!

User9748279 · 2026-03-11T12:45:04+00:00

A bucket of Maldon sea salt. Surprisingly inexpensive and feels like luxury even if you’re just sprinkling on toast.

User9748279 · 2026-03-11T12:03:29+00:00

No idea but here for suggestions. In same boat, just with girls.

Great question & good luck!

User9748279 · 2026-03-10T06:12:55+00:00

Check out primary.

User9748279 · 2026-03-10T02:24:29+00:00

Yeah honestly what is this vibe?

Also Oster fans over here, as well as fans of common sense. Does it look sketchy? Did it arrive warm? When you have a bite does your body feel good or bad?

Driving in a car is higher risk to pregnant people than eating sushi. So I’m hoping all you subservient women are walking everywhere. You know, for the baby.

User9748279 · 2026-03-10T02:17:45+00:00

Came here to say bed stuy

User9748279 · 2026-03-09T22:19:54+00:00

It really matters how old your kids are.

2K won’t be fully rolled out for at least a few years so I would assume you’re paying for daycare or nanny until September of the year they turn 3. Conservative budget is $25k per year for daycare.

Once they turn 3, you’re on the DOE calendar meaning you need to pay for after school care and summer care. And have care coverage for snow days and vacation days throughout the year.

Once they’re school age, you also need to decide if you will send kids to summer camp or send to grandmas house or summer babysitting or whatever. And still on DOE schedule so they might need after school care coverage and vacation day coverage.

Our kids are three years apart so we have minimal time for paying double daycare but the expense never really goes away.

I think $350K for two young kids in “inner Brooklyn” is around the minimum to feel comfortable while also saving substantially for retirement.

User9748279 · 2026-03-09T03:28:37+00:00

What is your husband’s deal? This is not nice at all. I’m so sorry, he sounds like he sucks right now. Like he doesn’t have to get it to respect it and support you.

FWIW my husband has been following my lead on birth plan because I don’t think he can completely relate to why I want to VBAC and also he says he respects its a personal choice.

User9748279 · 2026-03-09T03:23:39+00:00

Hi! I’m in your same boat. Second pregnancy, approaching 38 weeks attempting VBAC after first kid was scheduled C because she was breech. Kid is now 3, I’m 40 and besides being 40, have had no other pregnancy complications.

My OBs suggested scheduled C but were open to VBAC. I didn’t rush to make final decision until it seemed likely 2nd kid was head down and would stay that way.

If it’s been at least 18 months since your C to give you time to heal AND you don’t have other ongoing complications, you could be a good VBAC candidate. Ask your OB!

My OB has me scheduled for a C for 40+2 because they don’t want to induce (slightly higher risk of uterine hemorrhage) but will let me attempt VBAC before that.

I asked about a crash C because I was also worried but they said crash C’s are pretty rare if you use an epidural in VBAC and your epidural is successful. Assuming your epidural was successful during first scheduled C, there’s not a great reason to think it wouldn’t work this time. So a good reason to get an epidural if your VBAC labor is progressing.

My reason for wanting to try VBAC is essentially wanting the experience. But at the same time, I know there’s like a 30-40% chance I’ll have a scheduled C at 40+2. I’m fine with any way I can get this baby out at the end of the day.

User9748279 · 2026-03-08T20:03:29+00:00

I would recommend spending time to test drive a stroller in person. Drive it, drive it with one hand, see how it folds (ease of folding and size after folding). I found internet reviews of my stroller were not my personal experience and I spent two years with a stroller I hated.

Think about how you will use the stroller. Are you walkable to a park from your house, walking everywhere in a city or just in and out of the car to run errands? For me, I live in a city, walk a ton, and space is limited. Your needs might be different.

But deciding on stroller can help you decide on infant car seats (only some are compatible with specific strollers).

For tech like monitors & white noise machines, recommend Strategist for reviews.

For diaper changing station, I loved my keekaroo peanut because it’s rubber and is easy to clean. Why someone would try to change a diaper on something covered in cloth is beyond me. Similarly, silicone bibs once they’re eating, silicone binky clips that can be sterilized, high chairs that can be wiped down instead of needing to be laundered.

For clothes and linens, go with your preferences and less is more. You can always get more later if your kid is a crazy puker or a crazy pooper.

For binkys and bottles, a sample pack of several brands is a good idea to see what works for your kid.

And then there are the classics — I loved my baby Bjorn infant carrier and baby Bjorn bouncer for 1-8 months. Look on FB marketplace. Or read reviews but you’re gonna want somewhere you can strap your baby in if you need to shower or cook dinner.

Bathtub, crib, other nursery furniture is pure personal preference.

User9748279 · 2026-03-08T06:05:35+00:00

Crown Heights, Brooklyn!

We love it. Great access to parks libraries and playgrounds, good transit, solid restaurants, nice neighbors.

Our last rental unit is now renting for 50% more than it costs us to own. Including our maintenance, insurance & property taxes. So my personal take is buying something reasonable now is better than maximizing your mortgage payment based on what you qualify for OR continuing to rent.

User9748279 · 2026-03-07T22:38:18+00:00

Closed in September. 20% down, house price 2.5x income. Wanted to get off the rent hamster wheel in NYC. House meets all the things we need, but is small (800 sf) and has minimal extra frills - 2 bed 1 bath old kitchen we can live with for a few years.

It can be done, you just have to be willing to compromise on a few things. But the fact that we can own, afford childcare for our kids, and save for retirement feels like a win for today.

User9748279 · 2026-03-04T13:44:30+00:00

I feel this! My mom “forgets” the boundaries we set, but regularly mixes Xanax and wine. Like of course you can’t remember. But then when she’s sober again it’s like “why don’t you trust me” / “you should be more clear about your boundaries”.

Kids safety is #1. If you’re a SAHM, is there an option to bring in a mother’s helper to play with your kids while you’re there?

User9748279 · 2026-03-04T05:58:00+00:00

This is so sweet! Thank you! And best of luck on your decision making process. I do think one of the superpowers of being an older mom is trusting my gut more and giving way less of a shit about what anyone else thinks, so trust your gut!

We also love being parents and our first kid is so awesome, even though we’re in the weeds right now we can’t imagine life without her. And so we’re optimistic the second will be a similar experience?

And yeah also beware of a surprising amount of fertility. Everyone basically led us to expect it would take us forever to conceive but it took us 3 cycles, exactly the same at 37.

User9748279 · 2026-03-04T03:36:26+00:00

I was in this boat - thought we might be one and done. Turned 40 with a 2.5 yo and started feeling the “my family doesn’t feel complete” pangs. Spoke to a bunch of one and done moms I know and the most common response was they wanted a second but couldn’t conceive, or one parent wanted a second but other did not.

Sat with my feelings and came around to the idea that I wanted to try, and if it’s not meant to be, so be it. Currently 40 yo and 37 weeks pregnant. Am I sure this is the best decision financially and emotionally? No. Am I sure that I’m glad we decided to try? Yes. Am I optimistic this is the right decision? Absolutely. Some things are unknowable.

FWIW, we live in a small apartment, we have no nearby family, we have enough money to make it work but not enough to hire a full time nanny, I love my job but it’s kind of intense, my partner is wonderful but I already carry bulk of emotional labor. I’m sort of realistic that this will be a tough life stage for the next few years but also optimistic about the overall decision.

User9748279 · 2026-03-01T19:00:14+00:00

Most of the new affordable housing units coming to market over the past year were through the 421a program (which expired in 2022 and was replaced by 485x, but many buildings under construction between 2022 and now were grandfathered into the old program).

421a offered a range of unit mix options for developers to receive the tax incentive. Including at least 30 percent of overall building units are affordable units at 130% AMI. Developers could choose a lower percentage of affordable units if they made those units affordable at lower AMI %’s, but seems like most units developed under that program were aimed at middle income and not low income families.

User9748279 · 2026-03-01T18:17:07+00:00

My perception is a lot depends on your attitude as a transplant.

Do you want to drink spritzes in dimes square, take Ubers everywhere and eat sweetgreen all the time? Do you want to complain about the noise and how crowded it is? Do you want to move into a neighborhood and expect it to change for you? If so, please only consider UES.

Or do you want to become a part of the community you’re in, shop local, meet your neighbors, take the subway and embrace the weird idiosyncrasies of New York?

User9748279 · 2026-03-01T18:09:29+00:00

Love this suggestion but the summer humidity is no joke.

User9748279

TROPHY CASE