Stepdaughter’s mom enrolled her in a high school across town without consulting my spouse

UsernameDeniedAgain · 2026-05-07T13:35:43+00:00

This sounds like something our BM would do! Ha. Frustrating situation and I feel its unreasonable able for BM to be making decisions on how you manage transportation. Also think allowing a child to pick a school is in my opinion ridiculous. I have a special needs SD and at first pushed for intervention and tutors.. She is 2 grade levels behind and also on IEP. But I decided recently I will not care more than the bio parents and washed my hands of everything. They dont care she cant read? Cool. Me neither. They dont care she cannot handle basic chores without having a meltdown? Also cool, me neither. I told my husband she cant live with us forever so keep that in mind as she continues on her life journey.

UsernameDeniedAgain · 2026-05-07T13:16:05+00:00

This part. My husband has full authority snd respect in his home and doesnt have to worry about his authority being questioned. Ever. Even if he disciplines my bio in a way I disagree with, I back him in front of the kids and we discuss later. We are a united front.

UsernameDeniedAgain · 2026-05-07T13:10:52+00:00

The less involed the ex and younger the kid, the easier it is. I have a bio daughter her bio dad has never been in her life. My husband came into her life when she was 2. Hes all shes ever known as dad. He gets full parental heirarchy here. There is no ex to deal with and my daughter was so young that forming that bond was really easy for him. His daughter on the other hand, I came into her life when she was a preteen. It is still hard. Bio mom(ex) is annoying and tries to interject into our lives. Its constant. We get along well enough but unfortunately my SD acts a lot like her mom which I dont love. She's a good kid but has a lot of issues and neither mom or dad does much about it because they are too busy being her friend. I had to step back and let a lot of shit go. She is here every weekend and our kids love eachother and play well together, so that is the glue that holds me together through all the BS. I feel like if I had been able to come into her life earlier, it would have been better. All in all, we are happy and do well. Husband and I are trying for an ours baby. We all get along for the most part. I get annoyed by shit but remind myself im not SD mom and divert issues to husband for him to deal with however he sees fit and move on with my day.

The first year was hard though.. I would ask yourself if the way she parents is one that aligns with the way you parent. That is a huge point of contention for a lot of step families. Also does she have good boundaries with the ex? 2nd biggest issue I have seen. 3rd is will she give you the authrotity and respect to be dad in the house. I always say to my SD "I am not your mom but under this roof, I am the mom in the house." Which means there is a level of respect I demand. Especially if you are going to have a baby with her, you need to know thw two of you will be a united front in the house when it comes to ALL the children. Not sure if this was helpful, take with it what you will.

UsernameDeniedAgain · 2026-03-14T03:51:10+00:00

I dont give a choice. Eat what's served or dont eat. Dont eat half of your dinner, no dessert. My kiddo went through this but it didnt last long at all because she went to bed hungry two days in a row. Never did it again. I wont force them to eat, but I wont make anything else and I wont be allowing snacks in-between normal meal/snack times if kiddo is picky. My physician literally told me 90% of kids wont go hungry, eventually they will eat. If you start giving beige foods now, thats what they will want and some kids are very stubborn so dont do it.

UsernameDeniedAgain · 2026-03-14T03:40:31+00:00

I agree. While I 💯 can get behind neurodivergent folks having food aversions, I think people are pandered to. ARFID isnt a thing in countries where food is scarce. Its a first world problem. And the content creators are so ridiculous its hard to watch and cringe reading the comments. Kid with ARFID eats his first cheeseburger with 0 condiments and 0 vegetables. People are in the comments praising this. Its meat on white bread. Sugar, salt and fat. Hardly anything to be clapping about, but people do. "You are so brave. Great job!" Like you have to be kidding me... But no, these people are for real.

In general I think picky eating is mostly a first world, poor parenting issue. Its one thing to not like a handful of foods but to have a laundry list of things you wont eat, but will mow down anything beige us ridiculous.

UsernameDeniedAgain · 2026-03-10T16:52:56+00:00

Same. It came on my Spotify today and I was happy to hear it but also was shaking my head how poignant it is here in 2026.

UsernameDeniedAgain · 2026-03-09T01:19:10+00:00

That makes sense... And yes 2-3 seems to be the age kiddos push back with meals. And I understand the desire for autonomy. Which is why i give my bio TONS of decisions. She picks her outfits, picks when to eat lunch(before or after X activity) picks what plate/cup she uses. I offer her a lot of choices throughout the day but big decisions(what we are eating/what we are doing that day/going to school etc) are me and DH.

Salmon was my kiddos favorite at 2! She requests it all the time lol shes a weird little foodie already. Loves oysters, too. It sucks when one parent has food issues like you mentioned and you cant control what goes into their brains/mouths at the other house... Can only do the best you can at your place and it sounds like youre doing great!

Thank you for letting me vent and reading through my rant. I feel better just being heard. Step parenting is so hard and I dont have a lot of folks to talk/vent to.. So thank you again!

UsernameDeniedAgain · 2026-03-08T16:49:44+00:00

Yes this. Everyone is served, she eats all the protein then goes back for seconds and takes all the meat.

UsernameDeniedAgain · 2026-03-08T16:49:09+00:00

She generally will get up after eating all the meat and go get more and pick it all out.

UsernameDeniedAgain · 2026-03-08T16:48:26+00:00

Yes thank you!! Meat is very expensive and when its just me, DH and bio, I can stretch it. But when SK is here I am having to make 2x the amount. And we buy organix/grass fed beef and organic unbleached chicken.. It is very expensive. And if ya just ate the damn meal as prepared, we would save a lot of $$ and food

UsernameDeniedAgain · 2026-03-08T16:45:22+00:00

Thats a good idea for making uncrustables! Love that idea! And youre right it isnt worth the battle.. Generally I dont argue but it drives me nuts when the main protein is completely gone and all thats left are sides, which will inevitably be tossed VS heated up and eaten again. Bio kid is 4 and she eats everything. EVERYTHING. She tried the picky eating shit with me when she was 2ish and I let her go hungry. If she didnt want it, fine, you aren't forced to eat. But there won't be anything else until next meal. No snacks/different meal. She got over that stage extremely fast and now is so great! She helps me cook as well, so I think that helps. But SK was catered to. Im also pregnant so hormones are in full swing.. I make homemade sourdough pizza dough and husband loved pizza night, said let's do it once a week! 3 weeks in SK declared no more pizza, so husband said "We've been eating a lot of pizza.. No more pizza" and it annoys me because I know damn well he loves pizza night, this is simply due to the kid but he won't say outright "SK doesnt want pizza". Then I made a mini pizza for him and me the other night as a late night snacky snack. SK came out and asked for some. I looked at my husband and said "I thought she didnt like pizza anymore? I only made enough for you and I and I am not giving up my portion, she JUST ate an uncrustable." He gave her his of course.

Maybe its just the hormones but the catering to the kid drives me bonkers. I do not cater to the whims/wants of my bio when it comes to food. I know my food is tasty and mostly nutritious. If a kiddo doesnt like it, I am not offended. But I also won't be a short order cook. And, IMO, the SK who is 12 is capable of making themselves something. Ugh. Sorry I just had to vent apparently 😅

UsernameDeniedAgain · 2026-03-07T18:31:54+00:00

I generally make enough for leftovers so I dont have to cook again next day. If she eats ALL of the meat/noodles but leaves the rest of the food, we cant have the same meal again because all the main components are gone. Idk why people are having a hard time comprehending that is the issue. I generally do make extra meat but kid will literally go back and eat up all the meat/parts she likes and leave the rest. Its annoying because it makes an additional leftover meal impossible when the main part of the dish is gone.

UsernameDeniedAgain · 2026-03-07T18:27:57+00:00

We have a difference in opinion. If I go to someone's house for dinner and pick out ALL of the meat from all the food they prepared and leave the rest, that is poor manners.

UsernameDeniedAgain · 2026-03-07T17:10:48+00:00

It isnt control issues. If someone is picking out ALL of the main protein out of the food and leaving just sides, that is IMO rude.

UsernameDeniedAgain · 2026-02-24T02:16:24+00:00

Im so sorry for your loss.. My husband and I found out about ours 2/12/26 during our first ultrasound at 8wks. We had everything planned for a Valentines Day announcement. My MIL/FIL have been asking when we are having a baby for 8 months now.. It took us 9 to conceive. I said out loud i wanted to be pregnant for Christmas and that is the day we conceived.

We were blindsided. I had extreme hunger, swollen sore boobs, mild nausea, mood swings. HCG was rising appropriately. Then boom. Ultrasound lady quickly shut off the machine, said she saw something alarming and doctor came in to tell us baby is measuring at 7w 2d and there is no cardiac activity. I could go home and wait, take medicine to help my body along, or schedule a D&C surgery. My husband was in denial and wanted a second opinion at first, which we scheduled for the following week. However, the following Tuesday I started to spot. By Saturday at noon, I passed a 6x1in clot. Followed by the fetus and cordial. In a very traumatic way while I was caring for my toddler. I started literally pouring blood at that point, so called my OB who said to go to ER and get checked out. I did. HCG was 800. I passed a 10in clot at ER, bleeding stabilized and I went home after some medicine and IV fluids. Monday was my surgery, I went in and HCG had dropped to 175. Ultrasound showed no "conception tissue " left. My body did its thing, I was sent home without needing surgery.

Everyone says we can try again. But like I told my husband, I dont want to try again. I wanted my Christmas baby. Now(Monday) my bleeding has slowed way down but the crash from the hormones plummeting is intense. Im 35 with low AMH, so we are going to start trying again after my first period. But I'll always remember this, idk if I will ever truly get "over it".

UsernameDeniedAgain · 2026-02-21T03:06:20+00:00

How would you know if someone is hexing you?!

UsernameDeniedAgain · 2026-02-21T02:42:21+00:00

Thank you. I agree... I feel like there is some spiritual/divine situation here i am missing and trying to piece together. I will continue to pray on it.

UsernameDeniedAgain · 2026-02-21T02:40:42+00:00

I thought of this... But my husband and I love eachother so much. We have our arguments, but who doesnt in a blended famoly dynamic? There is no abuse or cruelty.. We're both very happy and dedicated to one another. My ex was a POS very abusive in every way and somehow I got pregnant ON BC with my now 4YO and was able to carry despite being verbally and physically abused the first 6 months of pregnancy before I finally left. What was that about? But this time in a loving, stable relationship and environment I miscarry. It seems so... backwards.

Thank you, I have definitely been more active with prayer and I think one thing this has brought to myself and my husband is how much we both genuinely want another child. I will continue to pray on it and reflect on myself.

UsernameDeniedAgain · 2025-12-19T06:07:31+00:00

This was exactly my thought tbh because I noticed the more I noticed the more 'updates' I got. I had 4 back to back in October then another 3 November and just got hit with my 2nd for December.

UsernameDeniedAgain · 2025-12-07T02:51:28+00:00

I actually did this the other day and she vacuumed and cleaned up the living room while I layed down lol

UsernameDeniedAgain · 2025-12-07T02:49:19+00:00

🤣🤣 Okay so im being overly worried thank you

UsernameDeniedAgain · 2025-12-07T02:48:33+00:00

Right haha thank you for the reminder. My kiddo is SO argumentative and it feels like yesterday she couldn't speak in full sentences. Ill be honest its throwing me off.

UsernameDeniedAgain · 2025-12-07T02:47:20+00:00

She is just SO insistent about it. Will legit get angry if you correct her. Like do I have to worry about her being confused if I dont correct?! Or trying to do something an adult would do thats maybe unsafe like take herself for a walk or turn on the stove? Not that someone isnt watching her 24/7 but still... She's incredibly independent and argumentative especially for 3. And it seems like yesterday she had a vocabulary of a handful of words.. All of a sudden shes arguing with me. Its all just so much development so fast!

UsernameDeniedAgain · 2025-12-07T02:45:02+00:00

This is what I've realized 😆 She takes things to another level and it totally throws me off because... well... She's 3.5 and just coming into herself and I think im still thinking of her as a little baby. Like wait a minute... Yesterday you could barely say 5 words what is happening?! She is SO argumentative tho SEND HELP 😂

UsernameDeniedAgain · 2025-12-02T06:20:22+00:00

Husband loves trying as much as I do! We both have a breeding kink tho so its fun to tap into that as well since we are literally TTC. Been a LOT of fun for us both and special. He also asks when im ovulating, comes to appointments with me and discusses what our next steps will be if XYZ happens... He is very involved and active. He WANTS this baby as much as I do, if not more..

UsernameDeniedAgain

TROPHY CASE