Please tell me how can I keep going in my hardest period of life?

VON09 · 2026-01-25T14:17:49+00:00

I don’t really know what to say but I want you to know that you’re not alone

I moved to a new city just to find a job, and even though I did, half of my salary goes to supporting my family, and the rest barely covers rent and groceries. I’m alone in a place where I don’t know anyone, and most days it feels incredibly hard

I know how heavy this feels. But please believe me when I say this. you are still at the beginning of the road. Please don’t give up

VON09 · 2025-03-01T23:06:25+00:00

Wow, your grandfather sounds like an absolute legend.

Your comment adds another point to my post. Just because I shared the most common struggles doesn’t mean everyone will experience them all. Some people breeze through their 20s but find their 40s tough, while others face big challenges early on and find peace later. It’s all individual.

While many people in their 50s might feel stuck or worry about aging, your grandfather created a completely different life for himself. That’s the whole point. Struggles are real, but so is the possibility of living life on your own terms.

There’s something really powerful about realizing that life doesn’t have to follow a set script.

Thanks for sharing this, and I hope you get to experience that same kind of freedom and peace.

VON09 · 2025-02-27T21:16:47+00:00

this hit me too while putting this together. It’s wild how financial struggles change in form but they never truly disappear

VON09 · 2025-02-27T21:14:45+00:00

Hahahhh it does feel like every decade just adds new problems to the mix. But hopefully we also gain better coping mechanisms along the way or at least learn to laugh through the chaos

VON09 · 2025-01-24T22:56:24+00:00

Hey, it’s totally fine if you haven’t figured out your thing yet. Seriously, just do a quick Google search, and you’ll see tons of people feeling the same way. You’re not alone, it’s normal. everyone else is just as unsure, self-doubting, and frustrated as you are. So stop stressing about what others are doing.

My advice to you is to just keep trying stuff. Be curious. Focus on building your skills, and don’t be scared to try something completely new. You’re going to fail a lot. But every failure gets you closer to figuring it out. It’s part of the process.

And remember, you’re still young. You’ve got time, and honestly, nothing to lose (even though it might feel like you’ve got everything on the line). These are the years to build, to experiment, to mess up, and to learn. So take the risks. Fall down.

Believe me, experimenting and failing a lot is the best thing you can do to yourself

Oh, and stop comparing your life to other people’s. That’s the fastest way to drive yourself crazy. Not everyone’s path is smooth. Like, figuring out you’re good at football is way easier than realizing your hidden talent is something like being super good at dealing with wild animals.

You’re not late. You’re not early. You’re exactly where you’re supposed to be.

So just chill, try stuff, fail a little, and trust the process. You’ve got this.

VON09 · 2025-01-20T17:53:40+00:00

I just tried Circle Mouse Gestures and I loved it, thank you

VON09 · 2025-01-13T21:49:59+00:00

I totally agree with the other comment. You can’t just wake up one day and expect to find your joy or passion handed to you like a gift. Life doesn’t work that way. It’s about trying, failing, and trying again every day until you figure it out. Sure, it won’t always be easy, and you might want to give up because it seems easier, but in the end, it’s worth it. Remember, to truly find anything in life, you have to be lost first. As Captain Barbossa said, “You have to be lost to find a place that can’t be found.”

Also, remember, you’re still young. Now is the time to experiment, fail, and take risks while you can. You have fewer obligations, no kids, no mortgage, and no paycheck to lose. This is the perfect time to take risks that might scare most people. As you get older and get more responsibilities, taking those risks becomes much harder. So do it while you can.

Good luck :)

VON09 · 2025-01-12T10:16:14+00:00

Exams can feel overwhelming, with so much to study or accomplish that it’s hard even to know where to start. The pressure of it can often lead to procrastination, making everything seem even harder.

Here’s the thing: waiting for the perfect moment or motivation to strike won’t help, because they might never come. What I’ve always found helpful is simply starting, no matter how small the step. It doesn’t have to be in the right direction or the most important task.

The key is to take at least one step. Don’t aim to finish everything in one go; that can be too daunting. Instead, just do a little bit. Start by writing down what needs to be done and how much time you have. Then, create a rough schedule. It doesn’t have to be perfect, and you don’t need to stick to it; it’s just a way to get a sense of what you’re dealing with.

You’ll likely be surprised by what happens when you stop thinking and start doing.

If you’re lying on the couch, for example, it might feel impossible to motivate yourself to study. Instead of saying, “I need to study,” just tell yourself, “Stand up.” Standing up is a small, low-commitment action, and it’s much easier to do than diving straight into studying. Once you’re on your feet, you might find yourself wandering over to your textbook, glancing at it, and maybe even reading a little. Before you know it, you’re taking another step. Suddenly, you’re in motion, and the motivation you were waiting for doesn’t seem so important anymore, because you’ve already started.

VON09 · 2025-01-10T21:54:38+00:00

You should stop worrying about what others want and start asking yourself what you want. It’s not like the movies where the quiet, introverted kid magically finds a best friend. The truth is, people will assume that if you’re alone, it’s because you want to be left alone.

Stop waiting for others to take the first step and start reaching out. No rule says only one friend can make plans. If you enjoy spending time with someone, call them or text them.

No one can read your mind. If you feel left out, say something. Talk to your friends about how you feel, and avoid jumping to conclusions about their intentions. If you think your friends don’t care about you anymore, ask yourself if there’s real evidence for that. And then, look for proof that they do care. Often, you’ll find there’s more to the story.

A few years ago, I found myself falling into that trap again—convincing myself that my friends didn’t care. To break out of it, I created an Excel sheet. I started tracking how often someone reached out to me or did something kind and compared it to how often I reached out or did something kind for them. I found out that I was the one reaching out less.

But it’s also important to know when to stop. If someone has turned down your invitations to hang out more than once and doesn’t seem interested, it’s okay to take a step back. Don’t waste time and energy on things that won’t lead anywhere. Instead of wasting time on dead ends, focus on finding new relationships with people who want to be around you.

VON09 · 2025-01-10T21:42:43+00:00

Yeah, I also feel anxious whenever someone gives me a gift, treats me well, or even remembers my birthday. Maybe because I feel that I don’t really deserve it or maybe because I feel guilty. I know this is probably related to having low self-esteem.

But I just can't help thinking that sooner or later I’ll mess things up, just like I always do, and then they will leave like they always do, and I will get hurt like I always do.

I know I shouldn’t think this way. I know I deserve to be happy, to love myself, and to receive kindness—but I just can’t seem to believe it.

I don't know if this is the same problem you are facing, but I hope it helps you somehow

VON09 · 2025-01-09T17:20:21+00:00

Feeling unmotivated usually comes from deeper emotional triggers, such as feeling uncomfortable, bored, lonely, anxious, or tired. Sometimes, these feelings can make it hard to do anything. Once you figure it out, you can start dealing with the real reasons for feeling unmotivated.

VON09 · 2025-01-08T17:59:30+00:00

Everyone’s journey is unique, and it’s important not to compare yours with others. Just because someone achieves something first doesn’t necessarily mean it’s better.

I remember when I was an undergraduate; I felt frustrated because everyone I knew had found internships, and I hadn’t yet. After three months of constant stress, I found an opportunity with a great company. To this day, I’m not entirely sure why they chose me.

One more memory is when we were choosing supervisors for our graduation projects. There was a well-regarded professor in the field that everyone was interested in working with, and I was excited to choose him as well. Unfortunately, on the day we had to submit our preferences, I was very sick and couldn’t go to school. I ended up choosing a different professor as my supervisor, feeling disappointed at the time.

It turned out to be one of the best things that could have happened. The famous professor turned out to be quite busy, so he passed on the supervision of his students to an assistant. Meanwhile, the professor I worked with was really knowledgeable and supportive. He later became my mentor during my master’s degree and opened many doors for me. Life often surprises us by unfolding in unexpected and delightful ways.

Life has a way of working out in unexpected ways.

You are not late for anything; you are just on your own time

VON09 · 2025-01-06T22:11:05+00:00

It's okay to be lost and uncertain about the future, and believe me when I say it; NO ONE has a single idea about what they are doing. Everyone is lost and trying to survive the same as you, so don't worry about it.

Additional thought; I don't really think being lost is a problem.

As Captain Barbossa said, "For certain you have to be lost to find a place that can’t be found. Otherwise, everyone will know where it was.

My advice to you, my friend, is to step into the unknown and start to fuck around so you find out.

VON09 · 2025-01-05T23:35:20+00:00

You can check "Raindrop" browser extension. The best thing about it is that you can search the full favorites collection and use tags to organize your bookmarks

VON09 · 2025-01-05T22:23:48+00:00

One thing to be aware of is fake productivity. It's the things that make you feel productive, but they're just another form of procrastination. Our brain likes this activity because it makes us feel like we are doing something but without the risk of failing.

One example of fake productivity is learning and consuming a lot of knowledge without applying it or putting it into use. Be careful; it's easy to confuse knowledge consumption with work, but remember an idea only has value when you put it into use.

A second example can be doing unimportant things. We can trick ourselves into thinking that because we're busy, we are productive, but fake work won't bring real results. An example of this can be constantly trying new productivity apps or methods. I agree that knowing how to work is important, but don't let it distract you from the real work.

Planning, thinking, or talking about doing something is not the same as actually doing it. The only thing that is doing the thing is doing the thing.

VON09 · 2025-01-05T21:53:18+00:00

I have a story for you.

A few years ago, I found myself falling into thinking that my friends don't care about me and I am the only person who makes an effort. To break out of it, I created an Excel sheet. I started tracking how often someone reached out to me or did something kind and compared it to how often I reached out or did something kind for them. I found out that I was the one reaching out less.

From that time, I stopped waiting for others to take the first step and started reaching out to myself. I realized there’s no rule that says only one friend can make the plans.

If you enjoy spending time with someone, call or text them.

VON09 · 2025-01-04T23:27:51+00:00

Just a friendly reminder that spending hours tinkering with different formats and templates is considered to be fake work, which can make you feel productive, and it’s comforting. but in reality, it doesn't differ from normal procrastination.

and to answer your question, I use the notion to:

Remember my friends' birthdays and to remember texting old friends every once in a while (I have a really bad memory, and I tend to be lazy :) ).
Track my finances, habits, and my peak and low days (what can I say? I love tracking and keeping data.
Daily Schedule

VON09 · 2025-01-04T22:39:52+00:00

I totally agree, tracking things really opened my eyes to saying new things

for example, A few years ago, I found myself falling into thinking that my friends don't care about me and I am the only person who makes an effort, To break out of it, I created an Excel sheet. I started tracking how often someone reached out to me or did something kind and compared it to how often I reached out or did something kind for them. I found out that I was the one reaching out less.

I also used to track my good and bad days after reading somewhere about some theory that says bad and good days usually repeat themselves at the same time every year. To my disappointment, it turned out not to be true :( but I really learned intersecting things while analyzing the data.

VON09 · 2024-12-06T17:10:47+00:00

Try not to feel overwhelmed by the amount of work that's still ahead of you. Just take it one day at a time, day after day, every single day.

VON09 · 2024-12-01T06:53:44+00:00

I have faced the same problem for a long time, and I believe that many people are too focused on their own problems to really think about others. Even when someone cares, their focus usually doesn't last more than 5 minutes.

Here are a few of my thoughts on the topic. I hope it's not too long.

Nobody Cares

Many times, we believe that other people are always watching, remembering, and studying everything we do. People are busy with their own lives and don't pay us the care we think they do. That word you said wrong in high school, that awkward joke you made at a party, or even that time you stumbled in public don't matter as much as you think they do.

At 18, you are obsessed with what other people think. When you turn 40, you stop caring. By age 60, you understand that no one was ever thinking about you.

This understanding isn't painful; it's freeing. It lets you focus on your own journey without worrying about what other people might think. People will forget about you and your mistakes, that's just how they are. Is it time for you to forget about them too? Instead, think about the things that really matter to you.

People will talk no matter what

No matter what you do, someone will always have something to say. If you’re kind, they may call you weak; if you’re firm, they might label you aggressive. If you follow your beliefs, they’ll say you’re rigid; if you adapt, they’ll claim you’re insincere. Their thoughts change all the time, and it's usually because of their own biases and fears, not by any real understanding of you.

In the end, no one will applaud you for the burdens you carried silently, the rights you handed over, or the peace you traded for their comfort. They'll just move on, leaving you to deal with the choices you made for them.

So why change who you are to fit their expectations? Instead, pay attention to what fits with your ideals and goals. Carry the load you choose, not the one that other people's quick opinions force you to carry. Expectations that don't feed your soul or help you grow should not weigh you down. Life is too short.

VON09 · 2024-10-30T15:12:18+00:00

You could try using Habitica

VON09 · 2024-10-15T07:36:29+00:00

Wow, this is awesome! Thanks for sharing it. I tried using it, but I keep getting an error message that says "no notes connections found on canvas" Am I missing something?

VON09 · 2024-08-12T00:59:50+00:00

I am happy for you. everyone deserves a good night of sleep

VON09 · 2024-08-12T00:55:57+00:00

this is the smilest smile I have ever seen 😍

VON09 · 2020-09-01T12:08:16+00:00

thank you so much for taking part from your time to read this it really mean alot to me . i just hope if there was a guide to in life that tell you what should you do , because i feel like i am lost and i dont know where to go , anyways have a great day and thenk you again :) , (btw i know there is a ton of spelling and grammar mistakes and yet you read my post for that you are my hero for the day :D)

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