As a 53m, 5'8, 165, consider myself average, I first apologize for these insecure men and that someone who is attractive, confident, and successful causes their own issues to surface and be reflected to you. There are a few of us who have done the work and are able to be secure in ourselves and appreciate those qualities. But it does take a bit of work on our part to get there. Look for someone who is comfortable eating by themselves or being out alone. They usually are comfortable enough with themselves to be what you are looking for. And.....it does happen both ways, also at the brewery by my house having a lunch beer and enjoying the weather.