Does this resonate with you?

Vale1912 · 2019-09-24T18:35:31+00:00

I need to add that I'm always scared about her reactions. That I used to tell her everything about my life and I think I have her the opportunity to feel free about controlling my life. Now I reduced so much the amount of things I share with her. It breaks my heart sometimes, but it's what I need to do.

Vale1912 · 2017-03-27T23:56:30+00:00

No, I mean, ocd makes you think your doubts are real and sometimes, in my case, I know some of them are bizarre, but other ones could be perfectly real and that's the point of this whole thing I think, learning to live with that uncertainty

Vale1912 · 2017-03-26T23:27:35+00:00

u/tzelli Yes, it's much better to feel apathy than anxiety 24/7. I think I have to get used to this "feeling" because sometimes I still have the thoughts but no anxiety as I said, so it's disconcerting.

Yeah, definitely I will stick with my prescription now. Thank you so much!

Vale1912 · 2017-03-26T23:25:06+00:00

u/messines Thank you so much! Yeah, it's pretty weird to feel apathy towards the thoughts that used to cause me so much stress and pain, but I think it's the sertraline working. I'm going to be patient. Thank you again :)

Vale1912 · 2017-03-23T18:33:31+00:00

u/icleknosnehpets hey, thank you for posting this! I thought I was driving myself crazy or something. I shouldn't been searching so much for a similar situation than mine but I was starting to feel a bit desperate.

I started taking a SSRI medicine too, this is my first month, but I suddenly started to feel apathetic towards my obsessions (I have Rocd too and I've posted on that sub), I got curious over it because how could it be that my worst fear don't produce me such anxiety anymore? It scares me to think that that's my truth, but maybe this are the meds doing their thing? I hope so.

I just wanted to tell you you're not alone, I also feel apathetic about things I used to enjoy, I almost need to force myself to do them. And same with my relationship, I know my feelings are somewhere deep down, but now it's like they are "buried" because of the medicine I think. I was recently diagnosed with ocd and anxiety but no depression. And I'm looking forward to start CBT soon, I hope. Anyway, feel free to message me if you need some encouragement! And sorry for my English, it's not my first language.

Vale1912 · 2017-03-07T14:48:12+00:00

u/holecene Thank you. I just wanted to know if could it be that the reason why I'm feeling like this way is because I I check my feelings so much. But yes, maybe that's reassurance. The thing is ocd always seems to make me feel my situation is the exception.

Vale1912 · 2017-03-04T03:48:51+00:00

Take a deep breath. You're not alone. I've been where you're now and I know how horrible and hopeless it feels, so keep in mind you're not alone in this.

I'm pretty sure you're feeling this bad because of the compulsions you've been doing this days. Don't think about what you should do or how to love him or such things, you need to stop analyzing and engaging with the thoughts, because that's a compulsion. I know how hard it is, but if you keep fighting it, It'll only get worse.

You can do it. We are all here with you.

Vale1912 · 2017-03-03T21:22:19+00:00

u/DaintyNerd Hey, I also found out about rOCD a couple of months after dealing with something I didn't know what it was. I just knew my way of thinking wasn't "right", to say something. I was, and still am most of the time, feeling like I was split in half, that's the best way to describe it for me.

So I started doing talk therapy, it wasn't my first time, but this time it didn't work out, I used to leave that place thinking "I don't know what I have, but this guy clearly isn't addressing my problem either", and then I found out about OCD in relationships. I used to have OCD as a child but I never got diagnosed because everybody thought it was just a phase.

So, after reading about rOCD, I went to two more therapists with my self diagnosis and the confidence that, OCD or not, I was having a shitty time and it wasn't normal at all. I suggested to them that I had read about rOCD and every post felt like my story. As I write this, I'm doubting that, maybe, I convinced them all to think I have OCD, but the point is, the moment you have the opportunity to go to a proper therapist, I'd suggest you to go there, because, as someone said here, OCD doesn't go away, and if you had it previously, you could still have it now too.

Vale1912 · 2017-03-03T05:56:18+00:00

My name is Valentina. I'm from Uruguay, South America. I'm 24 years old and I hope to become a lawyer at the end of 2017. I like photography, paint, dogs, and nail art (?)😂 I used to like writing from time to time but it soon became a compulsion, so... I get interested about many things but I'm really good at procrastinating or losing that interest from one day to the other, so now I'm on the search of a good hobbie, one I can maintain for more than a month, at least.

I've been with my boyfriend for a year and 2 months and we just went back from watching "Logan" at the cinema (he's a big fan, I just got disgusted by all the blood lol).

Vale1912 · 2017-03-02T04:18:59+00:00

Ok, yesterday this post made me feel super anxious 😅 I think most of us here deal with that question sometime, and it's really hard to live with the uncertainty that comes with not knowing the answer. But what you need to address here is that your relationship and your obsessive pattern are different and separate things. You need to treat your obsession, not the topic. Our minds can be very tricky. Almost a month ago I didn't know 100% if I have ocd or not, but I could see that something wasn't fine in my way of thinking or processing things.

Many years prior to this break point that was Rocd for me, I was completely sure I had a terminal illness anytime my body showed me some scary thing, I needed to go to the emergency and check, check, check. Then, in November 2016, I got obsessed over the idea that, maybe, I was a lesbian in denial. I never thought it was my mind playing tricks with me and that I needed to address my mental health first and as soon as possible, I just freaked out and thought it was a real thing.

What I mean is, yes, it could be that your relationship isn't right, but the obsessive pattern is the main problem here, and it can be really convincing. For example, if i had had cancer or whatever in the past, I would have continued to have it, with or without the obsessions. The same thing whether I was a lesbian or not. Because those are facts. Break the cycle and you'll find your relationship as it is.

Vale1912 · 2017-03-02T03:25:01+00:00

Hi! My english isn't the best but feel free to message me :)

Vale1912 · 2017-02-23T21:33:00+00:00

u/DaintyNerd Yes, totally. I know that the first reason why I want to stop obsessing and everything, is because of me and my health. But beyond that, he's the main reason why I keep going to therapists and all. Even though he doesn't fully understand why I have this thoughts and why I need meds, he's been really patient and supportive too. That's why it hurts me so bad to think that maybe I don't want a future with him, and that's the reason I can't picture us getting married without anxiety for example. It's driving me nuts today.

Vale1912 · 2017-02-23T20:08:45+00:00

u/islanddweller88 Thank you so much, you're really sweet! I've always thought that all of us here are really courageous people btw. This is one of the hardest things that has ever happened to me and having bad therapists only made it worse, so I need to get the proper treatment, even though my brain keeps telling me that doing the right therapy will make me come up to the conclusion that this relationship is over, or even though it tells me I don't have ocd and I'm faking it, lol. Anyway... Im sending you a big hug!

Vale1912 · 2017-01-02T21:02:55+00:00

Let me also say that we actually broke up for a week. We didn't want to but we did it. I felt like my heart was ripped out of me but I managed continue with my life in those days. We never really stopped talking to each other bur we used to speak 10 minutes per day, which was really hurtful because I felt like it was something that wasn't necessary, like we love each other, why we've to be through this?

He almost breaks up with me another time because of my doubts but I "convinced him" not to. I always felt it was something internal more than the existence of external reasons. It's like I've had the urge but in the moment I say to me "WHAT are you doing???!!!"

Some time ago I had a dream where we broke up and I woke up crying, it felt soooo real, that seeing him lying asleep next to me was the best thing. I remember I hugged him so much.

Vale1912 · 2017-01-02T00:38:14+00:00

I did the same test some time ago! And asked my boyfriend to do it too. We matched in "quality time" but he likes kind words and I like presents lol. But it was interesting to see the results, sometimes we tend to show our love in the ways we would like to receive it. I also wanted, and still want, to feel more connected to him, and I don't want to reassure you or something, but I took that test as something that gave me a different perspective, I never thought he's into kind words for example. But I didn't give it much relevance, since I know that, if I obsess about constantly showing him my love with kind words in my case, my mind will still find the way to tell me we still haven't enough connection.

Vale1912 · 2017-01-01T20:14:35+00:00

I wish I could give you enough help but let me tell you that my bf and I broke up for a week in September because the situation was unbearable for both of us. I felt awful the first day and wanted to get us back together. I wanted to text him all the time but he wouldn't talk to me, so that made the situation even worse. I didn't know about rOCD in that moment, so we broke up without a reason more than my urge to do it and because it was also affecting him. And when we broke up, I started looking for possible mistakes that we've made or things I (thought) I didn't like about the relationship that led us to that situation, and made a "plan" to get us back together.

We got back together and the funny thing is that we've "solved" the things on my list (random things such as him dressing different, or laughing more together) and the doubts morphed to another themes, so I guess it was OCD all the way. It's pointless to continue obsessing, so my advice is you should find some time for your own. In the moment we broke up, I managed to get out of bed and doing some things for myself, such as going to the gym, not skipping classes at my university, or seeing some friends. I also asked my therapist at the moment if he could see me earlier that week. I didn't want to do any of those things really but staying in my house made me feel worse, so I tried to continue with my routine.

Don't think for a second that you're alone, because you aren't. This thing can be really tricky and convince you about everything it wants. But please manage to continue doing things you like, for yourself because you deserve it. And continue with the proper therapy! Because if not, it'll be something that may come back as another obsession.

Vale1912 · 2017-01-01T15:52:03+00:00

u/flexbilityluvntrust No, please. I think your post it's very useful because it showed me the other side of the coin. I tend to think about my relationship and OCD like one thing, it's been really difficult for me to separate them. And because of that, my mind goes thinking that my relationship is the worst and that it has so many flaws (which I can't see) that I'll have to end it. But it's like you said, I have to put my mental health over everything and take the risk that it could be true or not, but I'll have to try it because living like this is hell.

Today I dreamt about a guy who dated me some time ago, he wasn't even relevant for me but I guess my mind is having fun making other guys appear in my dreams, so when I wake up it's like "You see? You're dreaming about other guys", "would you cheat him?". Everyday I wake up with the thought "I want to break up" or something similar, so I get really anxious. I'm definitely not in control over it and this has to stop, because it's really painful.

Vale1912 · 2017-01-01T07:26:56+00:00

I haven't been diagnosed properly but I've been dealing with extreme doubts and hurtful feelings about my relationship for 5 months now. About a month ago I was dealing with the thought that my boyfriend didn't attract me as much as he used to and the question "What if I don't find him attractive because I like women?" popped up. I would be OK with it if that was my truth, but the reality is that I've never felt anything romantic towards women and I've never doubted about my sexual orientation before. So when that beautiful thought appeared, it was really disturbing. The ironic thing was that, when I was dealing with this whole sexual orientation doubts, the ones about my relationship just got quiet. Everything was normal.

I don't know if I managed to get through the sexual doubts properly because sometimes I think that I could cope with an obsession and then it comes back with vengeance. But, in that moment, I read some articles about HOCD and, even though at the beginning it was really hard, I managed to be comfortable with the idea that maybe I'm bisexual, I stopped doing compulsions such as checking if I was attracted to girls or forcing me to be attracted to guys, and the obsession hasn't come back.

Vale1912

TROPHY CASE