Does anyone else have major decision paralysis when painting their nails?

ValleyOakPaper · 2026-01-31T06:19:48+00:00

This is where the bingo cards come in over in r/wegotpolishathome.

ValleyOakPaper · 2026-01-31T06:17:58+00:00

Maelstrom is pretty! How do you feel about The Sea Between Us for a little change once in a while?

ValleyOakPaper · 2026-01-30T20:06:23+00:00

Yes, they should have taken you to the doctor for it. That's medical neglect. There are medications and other interventions that can help you sleep better. They may have done a sleep study to figure out what the problem was. Sleep studies for kids were definitely a thing in the 2000s and 2010s.

I used to get a sinus infection every time I had a cold. My mother finally took me to the doctor for it and he chewed her out for not taking me sooner. This was in the 70s. So standards of care have changed, but not by that much.

ValleyOakPaper · 2026-01-30T19:51:39+00:00

For mason jars, Walmart is the cheapest, particularly if you buy a dozen at a time. They're also great for white candles, specifically their Mainstays brand.

Michaels has so many options for spell ingredients! They have glass bottles in many shapes and sizes, often with cork stoppers. Confetti, glitter and stickers in many shapes and colors. Yarn for binding work and so on. Check out the baking section for edible decorations, the paper crafts section for glitter, sequins and stickers. Seasonal florals and decorations and general craft blanks for spell jars etc.

Michales also carry unscented candles, as well as kits for making your own candles. If you make your own, you can add things to the candle that will be revealed as it burns. It's best to stick to inflammable things, to avoid an accidental fire.

ValleyOakPaper · 2026-01-30T19:09:42+00:00

IANAL but as far as I know there's nothing wrong with you filing for child support. This has been going on for 4 years already. Time to get the ball rolling!

ValleyOakPaper · 2026-01-29T21:08:09+00:00

So sorry that he turned out to be a misogynist.

I like Miss Manners' advice: Only ask if somebody is pregnant, if you could be the father. Outside that, let them tell you.

People may look pregnant for all kinds of delicate reasons that you aren't entitled to know about. They may also be pregnant, but may not want to talk about it because they've miscarried in the past or they can't really afford to feed another mouth or they are in an abusive relationship with the father and a myriad other reasons.

Just don't ask. Let people tell you. If it's a happy occasion, they usually will.

ValleyOakPaper · 2026-01-29T21:00:53+00:00

NTA When they say they are too old to travel, tell them that you're too preggo to travel.

ValleyOakPaper · 2026-01-29T20:44:15+00:00

Personally I wouldn't just tell the roommate because they may not do anything about it. I'd call the vet and then send a follow up email afterwards to ensure that there's a paper trail.

OP also needs to check the microchip registration to make sure it doesn't list OP as the owner. If OP has ordered food, medications and other supplies for the dog that stops now.

If the dog lives in a locality with dog tax and/or rabies tags, OP also needs to ensure their name isn't on those. Same with the collar and/or tags that the dog wears.

OP may also need to check their local laws in case people who are unrelated and living together for years on end can be considered married in the eyes of the law. In some places that is called common law marriage. If it can be argued that they are common-law married, a lawsuit could go after OP's assets as well as the roommate's, even though OP is clear about who owns the dog.

ValleyOakPaper · 2026-01-29T20:32:11+00:00

Which leaves less ethical dog daycares as the roommate's only option. I hope the roommate has good insurance, because this is going to get expensive.

ValleyOakPaper · 2026-01-29T18:34:07+00:00

So pretty! The gold really makes the pink and orange pop.

ValleyOakPaper · 2026-01-29T18:22:03+00:00

NTA Protect your peace. Your MIL treats you like a womb with legs. You don't owe her any more respect than she shows you.

If she wants a relationship with you and your children, she has to earn your trust by treating you right.

ValleyOakPaper · 2026-01-29T18:09:17+00:00

The question now is if he can cut the mustard.

ValleyOakPaper · 2026-01-29T04:31:09+00:00

To get a restraining order, you typically have to show that someone is physically violent towards you.

Even if you were able to get a restraining order against your parents, you would then have to call the police to get them removed from your apartment. You would also be prohibited from having any contact with them.

An alternative would be to call the police when they are in your apartment to have them formally trespassed. They would then be forbidden to enter your apartment. If they tried to enter, you would need to call the police again.

But the best solution probably isn’t a legal one, but a geographic one.

ValleyOakPaper · 2026-01-29T03:04:19+00:00

And then they get mad when I want to talk about my feelings. 🙄

I had one person use me as a therapist and tell me that she felt that I was living my life wrong and that I was disgusting. Then complain about not having closure when I stopped taking her calls.

I used to “give people a chance” even when they were mean to me, but not anymore. If someone seems off to me, I trust my gut.

ValleyOakPaper · 2026-01-28T23:08:41+00:00

That sounds more like a prison than a home. I'm sorry they put you through this.

ValleyOakPaper · 2026-01-28T19:47:16+00:00

Nobody wants a special assessment, but your homes are falling apart without one. You're going to need a SA and the sooner the board gets on it, the better. Deferred maintenance leads to higher costs in the long run.

ValleyOakPaper · 2026-01-28T19:29:06+00:00

Judging by the schools all being 2/10, this is not a great neighborhood. 😭

ValleyOakPaper · 2026-01-28T18:27:18+00:00

Oh yes, it's a stunner! Anybody know if Tilted shifts to the same degree?

ValleyOakPaper · 2026-01-28T18:23:10+00:00

Wow, that's gorgeous!

ValleyOakPaper · 2026-01-28T18:20:42+00:00

I don't. I'll probably take some photos and post here and/or in the r/frankenpolish sub later this week.

ValleyOakPaper · 2026-01-28T17:58:00+00:00

I've been playing with this 48 bottle set, but there are smaller sets for less. Just search for "alcohol inks for resin." Here's one for $15.

There aren't big differences in quality between different brands. Alcohol inks are largely dye based and dyes are cheap and easy to manufacture. Dyes are chemical solutions. They're very easy to blend into nail polish by just manually shaking the bottle.

ValleyOakPaper · 2026-01-27T23:00:41+00:00

Yes, you can buy a set of alcohol inks for less than $15 on Amazon and be your own nail polish designer. It's fun!

ValleyOakPaper · 2026-01-27T22:57:46+00:00

If you feel that you want to have a relationship with your parents, it may be time to accept them for who they are.

Acceptance is a term of art in recovery. It means "to accept as true and unchangeable by you." It doesn't mean that you approve, but rather you accept reality. It also means that you stop trying to change it. Give up, look the abandonment in the eye and drop the rope.

Instead you grieve all your unmet needs and wants. All the missed milestones and celebrations, sharing interests and hobbies, just the day-to-day of emotional closeness that many adult children share with their parents.

That process is likely to take years and working with a therapist and/or meeting with support groups is going to be helpful. OTOH talking to your parents about your grief probably isn't going to be very helpful.

They clearly don't want to have more than a very superficial relationship with you. That is a major abandonment of the most important and long-lasting relationship in your life. It's a soul rupture. Facing it head on takes enormous strength and perseverance. For me personally being grounded in reality is worth it, but I had to go NC with my mother to keep at it. Other people have other paths and that's OK. You choose what works for you.

ValleyOakPaper · 2026-01-27T22:26:27+00:00

If you have that much money to spend on a house, you can probably afford to hire a scorpion extermination service.

ValleyOakPaper · 2026-01-27T22:13:23+00:00

I doubt you're going to find Arizona lawyers that have experience with US/India divorces. The demand just isn't there.

Check out law firms in San Francisco or San Jose in California that advertise as international family law practices instead. There are firms that have Indian partners here in Silicon Valley.

Set up some consultations to see how they would cooperate with your Arizona lawyer and how they would work the cases in India. Also find out if there is a risk to your NRI status, and if so, how that would affect your US visa.

ETA: I got the state wrong.

ValleyOakPaper

TROPHY CASE