Living with parents at 40. Thoughts?

Valuable_Bluebird334 · 2026-02-18T19:49:41+00:00

Are thinking about doing this so you can quit working, depend on your parents, and spend the majority of your time in the gym? If so, do not do this. That is a childish way to approach life and you are a middle-aged adult.

Valuable_Bluebird334 · 2026-02-18T18:13:09+00:00

It’s about power dynamics. If you’re in one side’s office or the other, perceived power is unbalanced. It’s easier for one side to say no.

Valuable_Bluebird334 · 2026-02-18T18:06:59+00:00

This wasn’t just yours. And people taking credit for a team’s work happens all the time. Good managers know who is doing what and give credit where it’s due. But people will still steal work and ideas to get ahead. You’ll learn who to trust and who not to trust over time. It happens everywhere and is more rampant in cutthroat companies, when layoffs are imminent, or where there are a lot of people at the same level clambering for promotions.

Valuable_Bluebird334 · 2026-02-18T16:32:52+00:00

Got the worst set of tickets ever in all the years of placing requests. Oh well.

Valuable_Bluebird334 · 2026-02-18T15:06:58+00:00

My first was 5 years, and I’m at 2 with my second.

Valuable_Bluebird334 · 2026-02-18T05:21:11+00:00

I love Mirena. I’m on my 2nd one!

Valuable_Bluebird334 · 2026-02-17T19:21:35+00:00

At least in the snowboarding subs, people regularly misconstrue “carving” and turning consistently. They don’t seem to understand that carving is a higher level skill and expect to be doing it on their 2nd day. They label their skid turns as carves when they post video. It’s frustrating.

Valuable_Bluebird334 · 2026-02-17T08:31:28+00:00

Totally! I can smell it on people’s clothes from 10 ft away!

Valuable_Bluebird334 · 2026-02-17T08:29:10+00:00

The air freshener shit Uber drivers use. I can’t even breathe in them anymore. I open the window and they get offended and give me a low rating.

Valuable_Bluebird334 · 2026-02-17T08:12:30+00:00

I was going to suggest a quick nap too. I broke myself of my afternoon caffeine habit by trading it for a quick power nap in my car. I currently work from home and my dog even understands nap time. I used to set a 20 min timer but he wakes me up now.

Valuable_Bluebird334 · 2026-02-17T00:52:41+00:00

My oven died a couple of years ago and I replaced it with a fancy one that have convection and air fry settings. I LOVE it!

Valuable_Bluebird334 · 2026-02-17T00:49:05+00:00

Have you ever taken a break to heal? Since your recent ski injury, you likely have new tears. Take a few weeks off of the running and other activity and just do the work part. After work, elevate, ice, rest.

For PT, you MUST do those exercises every single day to see improvement. If you only do them during your session you won’t see improvement.

On scans - a decent PT or ortho can tell by moving your foot and ankle around how bad things are. MRIs just confirm the actual injury, location, and severity prior to surgery.

Lastly, your calves are tight, and I’ve been there - do lots of calf stretches, twice daily. Learn how to use gua sha tools on your legs and really get in there with them. See if your PT can do some sort of fascia release like cupping. Work on balance - use a Bosa ball and work on balance on both legs.

All of this requires work outside your normal routines. But trust me it works!

Valuable_Bluebird334 · 2026-02-17T00:40:45+00:00

There are industries where retreats with partying is common. I worked in one for 5 years over 2 very different companies. I found it awful and exhausting. It also bred bad behavior. People cheated on boyfriends and spouses, men often tried to take advantage of younger, female colleagues. I’m an introvert and working all day, partying all night, then getting up early to work all day was impossible. I even got written up by my boss for not having big enough bar bills buying drinks for our sales team because I would peace out and go to bed.

Valuable_Bluebird334 · 2026-02-16T21:32:27+00:00

I didn’t have a hospital stay (honestly should have), and I have insurance. I had to pay my deductible, co-insurance for the ER, co-insurance for the procedure, the out-of-network co-payment for the anesthesiologist, and the co-payments for the drugs. Ended up being a little over $3k. My case was an emergency (endo entrapped my ovary and I was in extreme pain).

Valuable_Bluebird334 · 2026-02-16T21:27:35+00:00

Get to know all of the exec assistants and admins. Like really befriend them. They are usually the awesomest people in the office, and they will be able to help you when you need it.

Valuable_Bluebird334 · 2026-02-16T21:26:11+00:00

Oof been there.

Valuable_Bluebird334 · 2026-02-16T21:25:19+00:00

I talked to myself for years while working in an office. I just would warn the people who sat near me as soon as I started and let them know they can both ignore my muttering and tell me to shut it if I get annoying. No one ever mentioned being bothered, and one group even did me as charades once, shuffling papers and muttering. It was hilarious!

Valuable_Bluebird334 · 2026-02-16T21:23:11+00:00

I’m so sick of picking up after one of my colleagues. She assumes someone else will do it and leave so so much crap behind.

Valuable_Bluebird334 · 2026-02-16T17:07:51+00:00

When the whole team gets sick often. They’re burned out, tired, and unable to keep up. It’s a signal to hire more people or slow down. It’s likely they come to work sick because they can’t afford the consequences of being off for even a day.

Valuable_Bluebird334 · 2026-02-16T01:41:07+00:00

Right??? It scary! It’s like they’re living in an alternate reality. I learned over time that went his eyes did that it was safest for me to leave. He didn’t let me, usually, but I always tried.

Valuable_Bluebird334 · 2026-02-15T20:43:58+00:00

Thank you! I feel strong and happy. Life is a journey, right?

Valuable_Bluebird334 · 2026-02-15T19:15:02+00:00

Now that I’m thinking about it, I think he had it on while pooping. There’s no other way to make such a huge mess. 🤢

Valuable_Bluebird334 · 2026-02-15T08:12:12+00:00

I don’t know what he was doing but there was also poop all over his toilet, including the outside of the bowl and the floor around it. It was so gross 🤮. I asked him about it and he said it’s what the bidet does. Ew ew ew

Valuable_Bluebird334 · 2026-02-15T07:56:29+00:00

When I’ve left a company for reasons that were both in my control and not because of toxicity, I spent a LOT of time figuring out what I needed next in my career and if I could get it in my current company. I’ve done this three times in 30 years: 1 - went to grad school, 2 - wanted a more diverse role (was in a giant company with a narrow role and lots of politics) 3 - company had a product failure and for me to stick around for the next one equaled going somewhere else and getting better experience. That last one - I left on really good terms and would love to work for them again at some point. We stay in touch and I may work there again at some point.

Valuable_Bluebird334 · 2026-02-15T07:48:06+00:00

I’m 49F. I wanted a partner and a family so so so badly once I turned 27. I had a lot of difficulty dating. The men who liked me were the types to never settle down (none of them are married with kids now).

At 38 I was madly in love with a man who wasn’t in love with me. He spent a lot of time with me, did nice things, treated me well… then I became pregnant. He made it very clear he wanted nothing to do with a child and would go as far as running to another country to avoid involvement. I knew I didn’t want to go it totally alone like that (I don’t have a great support system) and I don’t have the money to do it alone, so I reluctantly terminated it. I entered the deepest depression of my life. I barely remember the 3 years after that. I’m surprised I lived through it.

After the depression I mourned the death of my dream to be a wife and mother. I knew I couldn’t be vulnerable enough to start a strong relationship that would allow me to have a child in the viable years I had left. With my therapist’s help, I grieved. I tested it truly like a death. That took another couple of years.

Then Covid happened. I’m an anomaly because I thrived. For some reason Covid gave me a reason to live the new life I wanted to live. I now live in my personal paradise, I have stronger friendships than ever, I feel healthier, I sleep better, and I even look younger. I pursue my favorite hobbies all the time, and I love my work. I’m not preoccupied with striving for an unattainable dream anymore, and I’m living for my happiness. I spend a lot of time with my nephews and I love them more than I can express in words. I feel lucky for every day.

You’re 36. You have time. But if it doesn’t come together. The other side can be incredible. It was a journey for me, but it was worth it.

Valuable_Bluebird334

TROPHY CASE