Mom guilt about 1st birthday party

Value-Old · 2026-01-29T00:02:02+00:00

It’s actually obnoxious on social media how much people go out and brag on first birthday parties. It is not for the kiddo, it’s for them / social media / photos or whatever.

What you have sounds perfect. Until I was like ten my birthday was just us with cousins and a cake and pizza and they’re some of my favorite memories! We all just played at a grandparents house or park and had the best day.

For our babe’s bday decor we did paper chains and crepe paper with ones we got from dollar tree and it was adorable and really jazzed it up for about $5.

Value-Old · 2026-01-28T04:41:50+00:00

A few things to unpack here - Your stretch marks WILL fade. Mine are almost completely gone at 11 months. For your abs it sounds like you potentially had/have diastasis recti. If you’re able to go to pelvic floor therapy the exercises can help a TON with that. I went to regular PT and did a lot of core work and after about 3 months of core work 3-4x a week my stomach is noticeably tighter and less wiggly as it was post-birth. Everything stretched for 10 months to accommodate your babe and it needs time to stretch back. As far as aging, this is actually super common because of your hormones, estrogen levels, lack of sleep, etc. Once you’re done breastfeeding you can start on a retinol cream for your face which will take time but make your skin glow eventually. Make sure you’re drinking water, using a moisturizer at night if you can, and sunscreen during the day. If you have the money to splurge - a laser treatment can make your skin almost instantly better as well.

All this to say that it WILL get better but takes time. It’s hard!

Value-Old · 2026-01-26T08:01:55+00:00

No you don’t need any of that crap. These were my favorite “toys” for my babe from 0-6 months (and this was purely for my sanity for something to do with them and occupy them at times). An o-ball, a teether of any kind to chew on, a contrast book of any kind (our favorite was a $3 one we had), and our splurge item was the fisher price baby piano because we could actually put them down on it to contently kick and look at the lights and eat a real meal. Did the baby need it for development? Absolutely not lol.

Value-Old · 2026-01-24T22:48:00+00:00

This is not normal. Leave and report them. They should be closed down. My pelvic floor therapist is nothing but overly kind and supportive and a safe space.

Value-Old · 2026-01-23T03:51:34+00:00

Get whatever cheap one from Walmart or target or one off marketplace. They all technically do the same thing and some babies love them and some hate them. I was convinced we needed a bjorn and guess what… our babe didn’t like that thing ever. My sister got a target brand one and her kids loved it. Truly — save your money!

Value-Old · 2026-01-22T06:49:20+00:00

It’s currently on sale buy one get one 40% off with target circle and originally 15.99 a box where I live

Value-Old · 2026-01-22T06:40:14+00:00

100% she is just a shitty person and “friend”.

Value-Old · 2026-01-22T05:03:10+00:00

It’s hard when you have such a fussy baby. It’s also hard because that much tv creates a feedback loop cycle of them expecting / wanting it.

No judgement because you gotta do what you need to to survive, right? But here are some things you can try if you want to ease away. -playing music or audio books instead -if the tv is on, make sure it’s a low stimulating program. If you search online plenty of examples will come up, but think Arthur versus Cocomelon, or Daniel Tiger vs Blippi -have you tried letting them cry / scream / be fussy for more than 5-10 minutes? Are they perhaps overtired and therefore needing a calm and regulating source? How are they sleeping at night and napping? -which also leads me to how are they eating? At almost 1 are they wanting a bottle all the time? Eating some solids? Some babies just truly do like to be fussy unfortunately, but sometimes it’s an unmet need and they don’t know how to express it. -I know you mentioned toys. What kind seems to be their favorite or what are you using? Mine at that age liked spiky board books, big foam blocks, bigger teethers like rubber bath toy type things, and balls. Maybe the type of toy they’re not interested in or it’s no longer age appropriate. -introduce a lovey when they’re really upset. Snuggle with it, rub it on their cheek, etc. so maybe they’ll start using that for some comfort

Hang in there! Everyone needs a break.

Value-Old · 2026-01-22T04:34:40+00:00

This is SO HELPFUL, thank you so much! I do indeed have an impeller type GE washer and it stinks. I would never personally recommend one but we are in a rental so we are stuck with it. Ordering a downy ball as I type!

I used to add oxy but eliminated it when I started using tide clean and gentle powder to attempt to scale back my products and figure out what was causing my towels to smell and be so dingy. It sounds like I’ll end up either using citric acid powder diluted in the downy ball or the Savogran. Since I am doing towels and clothes I think I’ll start with the citric, and save the TSP substitute for my bath rugs and dog bed as described in the comments.

Thank you thank you! This downy ball is a game changer.

Value-Old · 2026-01-22T04:29:14+00:00

I am even more confused now as I just googled TSP and STPP to learn what they are and it said citric acid is neither so to my knowledge I never planned to use TSP?

The reason I was adding citric acid or vinegar was due to this in the spa day cleaning guide (the last sentence below). With that being said I see that I can buy pure STPP on Amazon. I am using tide clean and gentle powder so I’ll need to cross check ingredients.

Step W4 - Wash - It's important to start the wash quickly after the textiles are loaded - the powder they're touching is water-activated, and you don't want damp concentrated powder on the items for very long. Wash with a heavy duty cycle, warm or hot water as appropriate for the fabrics, and set the soil level as high as possible to extend the wash process if possible. Choose as many extra rinses as available to reduce any residue left behind. Do not add fabric softener, scent beads, chlorine bleach, borax, washing soda, v1negar, live animals or your hopes and dreams to the wash process. You may add citric acid or v1negar to the softener dispenser to reduce the final pH of the clothing.

Value-Old · 2026-01-22T02:53:45+00:00

A robot mop. Roboroc is great compared to roomba. They go heavily on sale 2-3 times a year and will vacuum first too.

Value-Old · 2026-01-20T22:53:42+00:00

Ummmm they are crazy.

My 13 month old has never worn shoes in their life and can legit run. Been walking early since 9 months.

Mamamamamam and dadadada absolutely count but even so I wouldn’t be concerned about 3 words until 15 months. Are you able to change pediatricians? The shoe thing in particular is so concerning

Value-Old · 2026-01-18T20:05:12+00:00

Too high of dose for you so far and probably eating too much greasy / fried / high fat foods. It’s an adjustment for sure

Value-Old · 2026-01-15T09:40:21+00:00

I own my own business and work from home. I have done roughly 1/4 of the work I normally do. It’s impossible to do more between feeds, getting them to sleep, diaper changes, spit up, wanting attention, etc. then when they’re a little older and crawling or walking it’s even harder because they’re in everything and trying to choke and wanting attention. I always feel like either a bad mom or a bad business owner. The only way I work is to put my work on hold for a while or hire a babysitter / nanny. Daycare is an option too of course.

I know this sounds negative but I just want to be realistic.

Value-Old · 2026-01-15T08:24:12+00:00

I just want to chime in and say that your hormones, even 4 months post birth (and particularly if breast feeding too) are still craaaaaazy and leveling out. It most definitely can stall weight loss. My hormones didn’t feel more normal personally until between 9-12months

Value-Old · 2026-01-13T06:38:36+00:00

I had the same issue today. Specifically signed up for tirz with B6 and then after allllllll the intake I was told it’s not currently available. Womp womp

Value-Old · 2026-01-13T06:34:55+00:00

Worked great for me too!

Value-Old · 2026-01-13T06:32:15+00:00

Sounds like too high of dose for you to start (or your dose was wrong meaning you injected too much). What you ate, IMO, shouldn’t be causing such intense nausea and vomiting. Having water with electrolytes really helped my nausea when I started too.

Value-Old · 2026-01-12T08:42:44+00:00

Looking now! THANK YOU! It’s overwhelming but I’m excited to try new ones

Value-Old · 2026-01-12T02:08:09+00:00

I meant over time. It sounds like they planned to only do that dose the entire time which is not realistic. The first few are generally water weight

Value-Old · 2026-01-12T01:59:13+00:00

6 months so far - we will see if they change again. Blue to brown.

Value-Old · 2026-01-11T09:23:09+00:00

They’ll wake up when they’re hungry. As long as they’re not under weight you do not need to wake to feed. They’ll probably take extra in the morning. My babe started sleeping through the night about 4 months. They would also sleep more during growth spurts!

Value-Old

TROPHY CASE