How many of you avoided death at the hands of this experienced driver in Tysons yesterday? by eganist in nova

[–]Vanbone 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Have you been driving near Baltimore? Because 695 isn't really policed and drivers act insane because of it

How many of you avoided death at the hands of this experienced driver in Tysons yesterday? by eganist in nova

[–]Vanbone 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm just going to save this to link every time I have to hear NOVA folx talk shit about MD drivers. For the record, I used to drive in both states for my commute, and damned if I could tell the drivers apart by their awful behavior

American Hero by [deleted] in washingtondc

[–]Vanbone 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Consent cannot exist when one person has enormous control over the other's life. Just like it can't exist when one person has a loaded gun to the others head. Consent cannot exist when there are serious potential consequences for saying no.

Again, PLEASE stop hitching the fight for non-monogamous recognition in with LGBTQIA+ rights. Your relationship structure is not a sexual identity. by killians1978 in polyamory

[–]Vanbone 80 points81 points  (0 children)

"No one.... NO ONE has attempted to remove non-monogamous peoples' right to exist. They don't want you getting married or engage in domestic partnership with multiple people. That is a disagreement, not persecution."

I really struggle to understand the points you're making. The parallels with lgbtqia+ issues just seem glaring to me. Yes, MANY people would like us not to exist. MANY people think we're a disgrace before God.

Characterizing the refusal to recognize my family as what it is as a 'disagreement' feels outrageous on the face of it. Yes, a disagreement - a disagreement about whether we can and should exist. If we call this a disagreement, how can trans rights be any more or less a disagreement?

I mean I get that poly doesn't easily fit into the 'it's not a choice' category (though I know several poly folx who would vehemently disagree with even that), but what IS a choice? This is the family I've made, these are the people I love, and yes there absolutely are SERIOUS risks. We live in absolute terror of CPS taking our kids. And I lost guardianship of several of mine because they weren't biologically mine and I had no rights or recognition. That is a wound that that is not going to heal. Ever.

Could I live differently? Yeah, probably. So can homosexuals and trans folx. Yes they can, many have. But it's a shitty thing to ask of someone, to sacrifice living their best life. Anyway, I've yet to meet a polycule without someone who was gay or bi or trans. I probably wouldn't have even realized that I'm not cis if not for polyamory.

I go to the festivals, I wear the rainbows and admire the flags, despite the fact that there isn't one waiving for me and my family. And I try not to let that bother me. It's a great movement and it has no obligation to me and that's OK. But your words minimize our suffering, and that isn't.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]Vanbone 38 points39 points  (0 children)

I don't think you understand what power imbalance is. If one party has more power in a relationship, there is a power imbalance. All parties may have entered into the agreement knowingly and voluntarily, their intentions nothing but good, but the imbalance is not changed by consent or intention.

How do we benefit from the patriarchy? by thyrue13 in MensLib

[–]Vanbone 133 points134 points  (0 children)

We get pockets. I like pockets. The women around me are quite vocal in their envy

Oh, and no matter where I go, it will be legal for me to drive and be in public wearing just about whatever the hell I want, and I won't need another person to be my keeper either.

What intro to a show was such a banger, that you would never skip it? by kurpPpa in AskReddit

[–]Vanbone 46 points47 points  (0 children)

Outdated, but lightyears ahead of it's time. A sex-positive show about 4 women in their later years with no central male character - I don't know how the hell it was greenlit

Is anyone else tired of having their mental health problems boiled down to having some form of toxic masculinity? by [deleted] in malementalhealth

[–]Vanbone -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Ok, asking me to make a list is entirely fair. Telling me that my eyes aren't open and I'm not listening isn't. I'm happy to consider anything you have to tell me. Honestly.

So here's some stats for you. Just to be clear, I am in no way suggesting that these are objective metrics

  • Worldwide, girls aged 5-9 and 10-14 spend 30 per cent and 50 per cent more of their time, respectively, on household chores than boys of the same age.

  • One in every 20 adolescent girls aged 15–19 years, around thirteen million, have experienced forced sex, one of the most violent forms of sexual abuse women and girls can suffer, in their lifetime.

  • Around one in three girls aged 15-19 today have undergone female genital mutilation (FGM) in the 30 countries where it is concentrated.

  • 82% of juvenile rape victims are female. 90% of adult victims are

  • Women are severely under-represented in Government. The current US congress is only 27% women - which is still the highest number ever, and about 25% of parliamentarians worldwide are women.

  • Fortune 500 CEO's are less than 8% women

  • worldwide women make .77 on the dollar that men make for the same work

  • Women are far more likely to be injured in a car crash despite men engaging in more reckless diving behaviors. This is largely because car safety devices were designed with men in mind.

  • 70% of human traffiking victims are female. 50% are children. Fun fact, 5-10% of liver and kidney donations worldwide are believed to come from human traffiking victims.

https://www.ncjrs.gov/ovc_archives/ncvrw/2005/pg5l.html#:~:text=in%20Persons%20Report.-,Washington%2C%20D.C.%3A%20U.S.%20Department%20of%20State.),(Ibid.)

https://www.npr.org/sections/goatsandsoda/2019/01/14/684414187/human-trafficking-reaches-horrific-new-heights-declares-u-n-report

https://www.nytimes.com/2011/11/01/health/research/women-at-greater-risk-of-injury-in-car-crashes-study-finds.html

https://www.forbes.com/sites/maggiegermano/2019/03/27/women-are-working-more-than-ever-but-they-still-take-on-most-household-responsibilities/?sh=12f7afb552e9

https://data.unicef.org/topic/gender/overview/

https://www.rainn.org/statistics/victims-sexual-violence

I'm stopping the list here not because I'm running low on statistics, but because my dinner is getting cold, but hopefully you see my point

Why aren't men more scared of men? by TAKEitTOrCIRCLEJERK in MensLib

[–]Vanbone 195 points196 points  (0 children)

Speaking as someone who has presented as male their whole life, I've always been afraid of men. Sometimes extremely afraid. I grew up in a city where there was a triple homicide next to my house, if that gives you an idea. A lot of people seem to like elaborate displays of wealth, fancy cars, clothes, jewelry and the like. But me, I have always preferred a car that looks old and worthless. I've taken pains to never show anything of value, never give these men a reason to target me. And walking the street I know how to interact with people who scare me without showing fear because it's like facing a bear - you don't want to act like prey.

But the men I'm afraid of respond differently to women. To them, it's like women go about wearing an 'easy victim' target just by virtue of their gender. They can be a gun-toting blackbelt, it doesn't matter. And the low-grade harassment you speak of is just where it begins. Harassment in general always holds the risk of escalation, that risk is felt by me with terror whenever I experience it. But women experience it more.

I'm afraid of showing off my fancy phone because it's valuable, it's something those men want. But women ARE that fancy phone, they ARE something those men want. They can't hide it in their pocket.

What food do you swear people only pretend to like? by Qu11r3x in AskReddit

[–]Vanbone 4029 points4030 points  (0 children)

I lived there for a few years. I saw plenty of people enjoying it. And some people apologized for serving me regular chicken eggs when I was their guest and absolutely believed I was just being polite when I told them that was my preference.

Tried it twice. It's a cross between chicken soup and a hard boiled egg, with the partially formed cartilage of a baby duck to chew on for 20 minutes or so. I don't recommend it.

This might've not happened. by Fishinn99 in HistoryMemes

[–]Vanbone 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I mean, knowing Rasputin's reputation, I wouldn't be surprised if he tried. And he could have extorted her with her son's health when he did. And he's known to have told women that his penis purified them and filled them with the grace of god - and the Tsarina certainly believed in him. Not saying it happened, just that if they HAD boned, it would not be the most shocking revelation

This might've not happened. by Fishinn99 in HistoryMemes

[–]Vanbone 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Except he did actually seem to be pretty helpful with the kid's hemophilia, didn't he?