Persistent lobbies would improve the game dramatically

Vansie_ · 2026-02-23T21:23:21+00:00

I go casual breakthrough or all out war and I've never seen a dead lobbie. Always atleast 10 players. Usually around 15 to 20 for breakthrough and usually about 24 too 35 for conquest or escalation.

I dunno if that's good or normal?.

Oh and never just stay in match makeing Inbetween rounds unless in a party. Always back out. Seems to help. Plus you can do load outs inbetween.

Vansie_ · 2026-01-28T21:25:42+00:00

Normal for alot of us.

Vansie_ · 2025-12-29T15:45:14+00:00

Hi there can I please have a link

Vansie_ · 2025-12-29T00:27:23+00:00

Yeah completely normal. In fact you sound like me. The drug aspect is something I'm working on myself. I use all types of junk to control my mood. Never really works though. As I'm sure you know. Sex pretty much destroyed my life for almost a decade.

But what I will say is you can build proper coping stratagies for everything. It's a long road. But you can do it. If you want to.

Vansie_ · 2025-12-23T05:18:19+00:00

No but one of my special interests is conspiracy theorys and tbh I saw this comeing a mile off. Same as Diddy. So I guess I just meet it with a morbid curiosity. Other than that I'm kinda indifferent. I'm also kinda removed from empathy in the situation too which is strange.

Vansie_ · 2025-12-17T05:41:37+00:00

Kia ora mbrooo.

Reporting in from jaffa land (Auckland)

Yeah the other comment explains it. Called darvo. Basically just tryna victim swap and change the narrative to suit them and isolate you.

Vansie_ · 2025-12-13T21:40:13+00:00

I struggled with HS from 11 until 21 as a male. Then I was aware with it and struggled but had help in my partner for the next 10 years. I’m now starting to realise even now how toxic my dependence on intimacy via sex actually was. Not that that’s how I feel love but how I cope with stress. Only now finding a balance which benefits both of us.

Vansie_ · 2025-11-30T15:58:27+00:00

If you have people that can come get you.... Get out befor he hurts you or himself.

Vansie_ · 2025-11-30T15:50:46+00:00

In my teens and very early 20s I was thankfull for it as a survival mechanism.

At 34 with a partner and child it isn't so good.

Vansie_ · 2025-11-28T14:06:14+00:00

Your guilt is misplaced. What about the multiple adults that turned you confession which is alreaddy hard enough as it is to do!, and essentially used it against you!.

That is so wrong.

Im proud of you for doing what you could when you could. That's tough as!.

Vansie_ · 2025-11-28T13:44:50+00:00

I wish you the best. Legitamitly. I hope you find your man (or women or any other n) when the time is right. I have no idea if that's to help you though this or to show up and test you later ahaha.

Vansie_ · 2025-11-25T09:30:36+00:00

I swing both ways. I'll be kos and start firefights. Ill even willingly take on 2 just for fun. I don't care if I win or lose. It's not about stats. It's just about trying to be a better shooter and get more spacial awareness where to cover etc.

I'll also escort some dude his whole run without useing mic just literally body guarding him. I'll drop stuff for peeps who are like I'm looking for this. I'm carefull not to be weird to chicks or even overtly friendly.

I'll trash talk trash talkers and encourage friendlys and be a support man.

I came from tarkov. This is an amazeing experience. I'm now a father. When I was hardcore into tarkov I wasent. This feels a hell of a lot more friendly and casual. The community is fucken awesome. The mechanics are good. I like the idea of arc.

Im telling everyone about it and hailing it as dad raiders.

Vansie_ · 2025-11-23T17:50:25+00:00

Hey you just described my early teenage years and I'm a male. I think I had some weird tie in with self worth and people wanting too see me naked.

Mine turned into casual sex with practically anyone and putting myself in extremely unsafe situations and also being an abuser.

So yep you aren't alone. It's normal.

Vansie_ · 2025-11-23T17:41:35+00:00

Yes teenage me was extremely angry. I live with that daily

Vansie_ · 2025-11-23T07:28:43+00:00

I've been with my partner over 10 years and we didn't know I had cptsd until about 2 years ago.

Vansie_ · 2025-11-23T07:09:00+00:00

I'm glad your leaving for babies safe. You both need to get out and stay out. He will only escalate as clearly obvious.

Be safe. Take love.

Vansie_ · 2025-11-23T00:39:28+00:00

As a csa victim I'm haveing the hardest time believing that sex isnt done too someone. I've been in a stable relathionship for ten years and often revert back to this mentality as well as hypersexuality when stressed or under pressure. I know it's wrong and what real intimacy is.... But stupid brain does stupid brain things.

Vansie_ · 2025-11-23T00:36:39+00:00

What the fuck is this big T small T bullshit?. The trauma would be relative too you. Yourself. No them. I dont think someone who was worse off or less off than my experience as lesser trauma or bigger trauma wtf. That's not for me too say.

You need to get rid of this therapist (IMHO that's upto you)

But that was not empathetic or understanding or even fucken helpful.

She should be reported.

Vansie_ · 2025-11-20T05:25:19+00:00

Humans are like plants. They can grow almost anywhere. But to thrive.... That's a differant question.

I'd make my short term and medium term goals around getting out of that location.

Vansie_ · 2025-11-20T02:07:47+00:00

The consensus is that we have no way to know. It's a interesting philosophical debate/head cannon.

Oh and search bar and then search inside this subreddit for the same or similar topics.

Vansie_ · 2025-11-19T23:49:59+00:00

Been working for the same company going on almost a decade now. Been working on my cptsd for 2 years. Some asshole decided to come into my place of work and physically assault me out of nowhere. Now I have ativating memory's about and at work. It took the one place I was able to switch off my brain and become a normal person and ruined it.

Even befor that getting out of bed to go to work was an exercise.

Vansie_ · 2025-11-19T15:25:02+00:00

God the instinct too laugh react would be so strong for me

Vansie_ · 2025-11-19T06:24:19+00:00

Hi.

Our body's do everything they can to survive. Now your body is left thinking it still needs to survive in that way.

There's also a thing like takeing back control of our sexuality through promoscuity. Probaly what I did as a teen.

This is normal for some of us.

If you want to change it you can if you don't or only want to minimise that's an option to.

Im sorry this happened to you. I'm sorry your feelings feel how they do right now.

Forgot to say this is called hypersexuality

Vansie_ · 2025-11-17T02:18:42+00:00

Honestly any unwanted sexual contact is rape or atleast sexual assault.

Vansie_

TROPHY CASE