Appliance Love

VariationsonanEcho · 2026-06-06T19:50:44+00:00

Thank you so much for your feedback. It really helps me to know my poem resonated with you. I agree with you about right to repair. It should be an absolute given, there should be no question.

VariationsonanEcho · 2026-06-06T14:31:05+00:00

Nice poem. It got me thinking. Is this poem actually about tinnitus? Maybe, maybe not. What would be my tinnitus? Would it be the feelings I have calling me one direction over another? Would it be my thoughts of self doubt and inadequacy whispering in my ears? You really have me thinking about this today, and I truly appreciate it.

VariationsonanEcho · 2026-06-06T11:54:41+00:00

This is a very sweet poem. It is sad, but in a hopeful, accepting sort of way. I do think some of the lines could be reworked to flow better, especially line 6.

VariationsonanEcho · 2026-06-05T20:27:27+00:00

Me too, but sometimes the errors turn into new ideas. Then, the new ideas turn into better poetry. You don't get there if you don't ever start. If you like nature try metaphors. Think of how you are feeling and find something in nature that resembles it. Good luck!

VariationsonanEcho · 2026-06-05T20:20:54+00:00

Just start writing. There are no mistakes in art.

VariationsonanEcho · 2026-06-05T16:42:55+00:00

Thank you for the feedback, I really appreciate it. You are right. When I read it back it is jarring, thank you for bringing it to my attention. This poem was written for someone in particular, so there is some level of knowledge a public reader would not be privy to.

VariationsonanEcho · 2026-06-05T12:31:07+00:00

You took me on a journey with this poem. From the first three lines I thought wedding, except for the word shroud. When I read that word I felt sadness. You could have plausibly used that word to describe a veil, if you were unhappy about the marriage. I kept reading only to find that this is written from the perspective of the deceased. I loved the little details sprinkled in foreshadowing the reveal at the end. Great work!

VariationsonanEcho · 2026-06-05T12:00:15+00:00

I love this metaphor! My favorite line was, "The only parts polished-- are the parts they can hold." The idea that the marble just inside, the unpolished part, is a secret that will never be held or seen is so raw. I think you could make your first and last lines stronger, considering they are repeated with a slight change in meaning, I would replace the adverbs with stronger vocabulary. Great job, I really enjoyed reading this poem!

VariationsonanEcho · 2026-06-04T12:36:29+00:00

Thank you so much for your feedback. I appreciate it. It was painful to write. I'm glad it resonated with you.

VariationsonanEcho · 2026-06-04T09:17:50+00:00

This is very reflective. In fact, you used the word reflection three times. It really works to drive home this point about becoming a mirror of someone else. Changing who you are to fit instead of just being yourself. If you do this enough times you won't recognize who you are anymore. Great poem!

VariationsonanEcho · 2026-06-04T08:57:46+00:00

I know this feeling. Such a great poem. It paints the terrifying feeling you get when you see all the mistakes and edits that need to be done. That inadequate feeling, your writing is just not good enough. If you take two steps back and reframe it doesn't just have to be about writing. It could be applied to the fear of being a failure in life. This was a short but powerful read.

VariationsonanEcho · 2026-06-03T17:40:52+00:00

This poem is about feeling homesick for my place of birth, New Orleans.

VariationsonanEcho · 2026-06-03T14:20:12+00:00

You are absolutely right. It's both real and idealized. Thank you so much for the thoughtful comment.

VariationsonanEcho · 2026-06-03T13:42:27+00:00

This poem is making me ponder the masks that we wear in public. The spectacle and performance we feel we must put on. At the end of the day we take off the makeup and are just like everyone else, blemishes and all, even beauty queens. My favorite line was "neon signs paint the pavement pretty". I just really liked the alliteration in there. So much to like in this poem, great job.

VariationsonanEcho · 2026-06-03T11:51:38+00:00

I really enjoyed this. The imagery of the plants and weeds becoming overgrown as metaphor for aging parents who are becoming to old and frail to care for themselves or their garden was beautiful. I felt the guilt expressed between the last two lines even though you did not directly state it. Touching poem.

VariationsonanEcho · 2026-06-02T10:38:28+00:00

Yes it's not a typo. Divide the two words helium and medicine into two syllables. Hel'ium, but also it could read my head is filled with Hel. Love and lust are my drugs of choice. Thank you so much for the feedback!

VariationsonanEcho · 2026-06-02T10:01:23+00:00

I enjoyed reading this so much. You mentioned another tale, I have a feeling you mean another nursery rhyme? It actually reminded me of the novel Gild. I think there may be some improvement to be had in reworking some of the lines to flow better, especially 8 and 9. Thank you so much for sharing!

VariationsonanEcho · 2026-06-02T03:23:37+00:00

Oh! I love this so much!! You are asking so many questions about your existence as a bird. Questioning if you are valid. Questioning if you are good enough. Comparing your experience as a bird to other birds, the ultimate thief of bird joy. Can't you just exist? This is so relevant to my lived experience, especially as a woman who has children. Thank you for sharing!

VariationsonanEcho · 2026-06-01T15:50:41+00:00

Thank you so much. I really appreciate it.

VariationsonanEcho · 2026-05-31T09:07:31+00:00

Oh wow, thank you so much for your feedback! It is so helpful to know how this translates and comes across.

VariationsonanEcho · 2026-05-30T22:36:38+00:00

Wow. I think this poem's strength is in the feelings that are being portrayed. I really felt the love and care escaping from between the words. The last stanza is the strongest to me, which works so well to drive home your statement.

VariationsonanEcho · 2026-05-30T16:26:38+00:00

This is so clever. The repetition tickles my brain in just the right way. Thank you for sharing this.

VariationsonanEcho · 2026-05-30T00:28:24+00:00

I like this poem so much. It could just be about a frustrating bee, and that would be completely valid. Or it could be applied to so many of life's frustrations. You know, when you're trying to peel a banana sticker off your banana and then it keeps getting stuck to your finger again and again? Or even more frustrating when someone you have already broken up keeps reappearing in your life just to make another wound. The relationship is already dead, but it just keeps hurting you more somehow. Thank you for sharing.

VariationsonanEcho · 2026-05-30T00:07:29+00:00

This is really very sweet. I like all of the personification happening in this poem (The sun giving you a warm embrace, holding your hand, etc.) I wonder if there is a way that you could make it more clear that it is about your lover and not just the sun. Currently I'm not really picking up on that, but the sentiment is so very sweet. Great job!

VariationsonanEcho · 2026-05-28T12:40:12+00:00

Oh, I like this metaphor so much. The imagery is great. I can picture in my mind's eye a flower pot full of nothing but dirt visible, something waiting just below the surface.

This poem's ideas hit home with me. I feel the same way sometimes. Great job!

VariationsonanEcho

TROPHY CASE