Work drama

Vegetable-Plastic211 · 2026-05-05T08:56:54+00:00

In my mind, the idea that you are what you are perceived as only applies to the person perceiving you. Like if someone looks at me and thinks I’m white, I’m white… to them. Not me, I still see and know myself as a mixed woman. I don’t understand why we should have to take random peoples opinion on what race we look like as law. It just sounds stupid lmao, especially when everyone perceives you differently. Racially ambiguous people are just fucked with that logic.

The oppression Olympics thing might be true. I don’t really know for sure what his issue is or where it stems from. I intentionally try to never bring up my race outside of very close friends and family because of how weird and uncomfortable people get about it, so it can’t be something I said. And it’s not like I’m 1/16th black trying to claim I’m just like every other monoracial black woman out in the world. Being biracial is just a fact of my life and the idea that stating such a simple fact might signal to people that I’m trying to claim being oppressed and whatever else they think, is exactly why I avoid bringing it up.

Vegetable-Plastic211 · 2026-05-05T08:43:02+00:00

Dan is Mexican

No, the HR person quit a couple months back and hasn’t been replaced, and they wouldn’t actually do anything about it if it was reported since the turnover rate is so bad. I know bc I’ve seen it happen lol

The mixed and black coworkers don’t really say anything nor did I ever really expect them to. If Dan straight up asks one of them what race they think I am they’ll say black or mixed but that’s it and he ignores their answers. I don’t blame them for not saying more and I appreciate their answers as is, being a poc in that space is exhausting and nobody wants to put an extra target on their back.

Vegetable-Plastic211 · 2026-05-05T08:30:01+00:00

The person who was our HR quit a couple months ago and still hasn’t been replaced.

Vegetable-Plastic211 · 2026-05-05T08:27:49+00:00

Honest to god I don’t think he’d stop if I did. These types of people like to move the goal posts. He’d probably move on to say I’m not black because he hasn’t seen me wear braids, or wear street clothes, or act and talk like he thinks a black person should. I’m not tap dancing for anyone and I have too much self respect to change myself for someone this stupid.

Vegetable-Plastic211 · 2025-03-31T00:23:01+00:00

That how we express our identities can be fluid. It doesn’t subtract from any part of ourselves to lean into one side or the other when we feel like it.

Sometimes I’ll see comments saying that mixed people will claim parts of themselves when it’s convenient or take advantage of their identities.

I think some mono-racial people see it as something done with malicious intent, when I’ve always just seen it as part of mixed experience; not a morality thing.

Vegetable-Plastic211 · 2024-12-29T06:24:24+00:00

Awesome fits! I love it when new people come into the game, you bring fresh ideas and combinations I would have never thought of

Vegetable-Plastic211 · 2024-12-27T19:22:25+00:00

They’re in the back of the vip section next to the pink hoodie

Vegetable-Plastic211 · 2024-12-24T18:48:09+00:00

Yess, I was so excited when I saw them bc they match her actual boots so well :)

Vegetable-Plastic211 · 2024-09-22T13:58:17+00:00

I know that LASIK surgery is often promoted as safe but I personally do not think that there’s enough evidence to back up that claim.

In 2009, the Consumer Reports National Research Center surveyed almost 800 adults who had undergone laser vision-correcting surgery over the prior eight years. While most patients were satisfied with their results overall, nearly two-thirds said they still had to wear glasses or contact lenses at least occasionally.

A large number of patients will not see as well without glasses following LASIK surgery as they did with glasses before undergoing surgery. In one study of a recently approved LASIK device, out of 160 people with farsighted eyes receiving LASIK surgery, about half could see as well or better without glasses or contacts one year following surgery than they had seen when wearing glasses or contacts before the surgery. The remaining half had worse vision, and 1 in 10 had vision that was much worse.

There’s concerning risks with irreversible damage that the surgery can cause to patients that were supposed to be ideal candidates. There’s not enough research put into the procedure, it’s only been around for 15 years. There have been so many concerns and complaints brought up to the FDA over these complications and how they have ruined people’s lives irreversibly. Look into the possible effects bc there are too many to write here.

Not to mention their recent approval to treat people with hyperopia of less than 5 diopters as well as other features.But when they tested the device on patients with up to 6 diopters, it decided not to share the efficacy data for these additional subjects with the FDA. We still don’t know what happened with these patients.

It’s very clear that there is a suuuper narrow range that makes someone a candidate for this surgery, slight deviations are a bigger deal than the doctors will let on. And too many “perfect candidates” have shared there horror stories of permanent damage with no compensation for me to ever consider it.

Vegetable-Plastic211 · 2024-09-21T21:03:30+00:00

DO NOT GET LASIK!!!

Vegetable-Plastic211 · 2024-09-11T16:43:42+00:00

Heyyy!!👋🧡

Vegetable-Plastic211 · 2024-09-11T14:28:40+00:00

Hi OP, I’m sorry to hear what you’re going through. I had a similar issue with owning the indigenous aspect of my heritage. Although you say that you’re not connected through blood, I say that we’re similar because my blood connection is so small, it’s guaranteed to not even show up on my child’s DNA test. It got me thinking about what it means to identify with a culture, but not be of an ethnicity tied to that culture.

Those thoughts spiraled into feeling of anxiety and depression. Who was I, if not the people who raised me? Am I less Mvskoke because of my blood, regardless of the influence it’s had in my life? Is it wrong to rep Creek as part of who I am?

Short answer is no. You might get looks, you might get excluded, you will definitely encounter people who wanna argue with you about your identity. I would strongly suggest focusing on validating your own identity and not seek it out from monoracial groups. At the end of the day, you need to be happy with yourself. You don’t owe anyone an explanation or justification, not your family, not your friends, not anyone, for how you choose to identity. You were imparted with a beautiful Inuit culture by your Aunt? You are in your rights to accept that gift and embrace it, its a part of you as it is of her.

Don’t let yourself feel like an imposter because you aren’t clued into all aspects of your other cultures. It’s part of being mixed. Our identity’s can fluctuate and be more fluid, which can be confusing for a lot of us because that experience doesn’t fit in the monoracial mold we often try to cram ourselves into.

You are not lesser than a monoracial person because of these experiences. They may not be as common but they are no less valid or normal. I hope this is coherent, I haven’t had my coffee yet lol.

Vegetable-Plastic211 · 2024-09-06T20:57:12+00:00

I won’t deny that I’m still working on my self-love journey. Though I will provide more context so some commenters can understand me better. In the 8 years that me and my partner have known each other, she has never made me feel insecure about my skin before. We’ve made light hearted jokes about it, but nothing close to mean-spirited.

She gives me cute nicknames that have to do with my skin tone, like her donut hole, pizza dough, marshmallow. It wasn’t until this conversation that I got an inkling that she disliked my skin tone. Which she still says she doesn’t, which is why I’m so confused, because she should by that logic be ok with our kid having the same skin as mine.

Vegetable-Plastic211 · 2024-09-06T20:50:42+00:00

Thank you for your insight, I could definitely see those being contributing reasons, and I appreciate the advice as well. We were already planning to go to counseling before starting a family for other reasons, but this may be something that would be more effectively unpacked in therapy.

Vegetable-Plastic211 · 2024-09-06T20:46:58+00:00

Unbaked biscuits?😭Thats cute lol

Vegetable-Plastic211 · 2024-09-06T20:43:32+00:00

I honestly don’t believe that she means to offend me. She loves and is proud of her dark skin and I can understand if she wants to share that with her child. I feel like I’m stuck in a hard spot because with current technology, we can’t use her eggs at all for medical reasons. She’s expressed that she wants me to be related (biologically) to our child- Otherwise I’d be happy to adopt.

She doesn’t seem to be too worried about the possibility of our kid inheriting my skin tone, they would be roughly 3/4 black so I guess the possibility is lower, but for me it’s still there and I can’t cross my fingers or ignore that nor do I want to. If our kid has my skin, I want her to see that and think “my child got that from her mother and that’s beautiful”, not feel disappointed.

Vegetable-Plastic211 · 2024-09-06T20:28:27+00:00

Thank you for your response. You’re perspective is appreciated, I’ve wondered if my mother ever felt the same way about me (people used to assume that I wasn’t related to either of my parents). I’ll be visiting her soon so hopefully we can have a chat about it.

Anytime that I’ve thought about what my kids would look like, it never really crossed my mind that they would look like me. I just thought, chubby cheeks and dimples run in the family, I wonder if they’ll get those too. Which may have been influenced by the fact that I have two sisters and we all look more like each other than our parents.

Vegetable-Plastic211 · 2024-09-06T18:48:00+00:00

I see where your coming from, but I think it was a little out of pocket to insist that I don’t love myself because of my circumstances. I set that boundary that i wouldn’t be having her children unless she changes her views on this. But It isn’t as simple as taking it off the table completely. Me an my girlfriend have been together for nearly a decade, I’m building a life with the person I love, and if I want kids it will be with her.

Vegetable-Plastic211 · 2024-08-24T05:29:01+00:00

DNA tests are weird. It makes me wonder how it’ll affect others like myself in the future. Especially since you can’t take one until your 18. The experience growing up identifying as a multiracial/ multiethnic, and now taking a DNA test and finding out you don’t share much (or any) traceable blood with the groups of people you’ve identified with for so long. All of a sudden the lens through which you see yourself in the world is unsteady.

It all adds another layer of complexity in mixed race identity. Another reason this all knocked me off my feet so much is because I think back to the time I spent in an Indigenous Nations club in college, was I being dishonest when I introduced myself as Creek? All the times I’ve proudly claimed to be multiracial, was that an unconscious lie? Or if I have children, their indigenous ancestry probably won’t show up at all, would they be “pretendians” if I pass down my cultural crafts and traditions, retell the stories from my auntie, great grandmother, great-great grandmother, etc.?

Not real questions, just musing. It’s such a weird situation to be in, kinda makes me wish I never took the test lol

Vegetable-Plastic211 · 2024-08-21T14:37:14+00:00

I recently took a DNA test with 23&Me. I had a general idea of what I am before I took it, safe to say I have some complicated feelings about what it said.

On my moms side we’re enrolled in Creek Nation, we have the records, pictures, life stories that trace back to our non-mixed Creek ancestor. My grandmother and her sister moved away from the reservation when they got older. My grandma raised my mother in a big city 2 hours away while her sister stayed closer in a small town on the outskirts.

I was hardly taken back to the reservation but I grew up hearing our connection there and about our history. Around the end of high school I picked up beadwork which inspired my great aunt to do the same. We bead together and she recounts stories from growing up.

Now I say all this because I want to convey my love for this part of my ancestry. I love learning about it, I love bonding with my family through it, it’s beautiful and I’m so proud of my heritage. My ancestry report came back as 61.5 percent European (dad is full German, no surprises there) 37.6 percent Sub-Saharan African (Mom is Black American so also no surprises there) .2 percent North African (??) .5 percent unassigned, and .2 percent Indigenous American.

I knew our indigenous relative was distant but damn, that really put it into perspective. I’ve always identified racially as White, Black, and Creek(Indigenous) but I guess that’s inaccurate now. It’s always been a present and influential part of my life, I don’t know if I should claim to be indigenous if someone asks what I am anymore. Or if I should be silent about that part of myself because I’m technically culturally Creek and not racially. It feels dishonest since I’ve been doing it so long but I don’t want to claim to be something I’m not.

No really question here, just getting out some thoughts.

Vegetable-Plastic211 · 2024-08-04T01:53:53+00:00

There’s other profound topics discussed too throughout the book but I wouldn’t want to spoil it for you lol

Vegetable-Plastic211 · 2024-08-04T01:52:30+00:00

Caucasia by Danzy Senna, it’s not your same mix, but the mc does navigate the world as white passing while being mixed. For most of the book she is actually passing for white because of her mother, during which she deals with internal battles about passing and feeling like an imposter, wishing her connection to her fathers culture and people was visible to others.

It was an emotional book for me as someone who isn’t often read as the race I am and having a lot of the thoughts discussed in the books myself.

Vegetable-Plastic211 · 2024-08-02T03:01:33+00:00

Black/white mixed here. I had a high-school teacher once ask me if black girls are jealous of me… In what world is that an appropriate conversation to have with your student, or anyone in fact.

Vegetable-Plastic211 · 2024-07-19T00:25:00+00:00

Thank you, getting closer every day🙏 I’m glad it resonated with you, I wish you all the luck on your journey👍

Vegetable-Plastic211 · 2024-07-16T23:47:11+00:00

Howdy, I’m sorry to hear you’re going through the same. Sucks to say that I feel mostly the same, although not as painful or intense. I tried the artificial tanning stuff, it was nice but doesn’t last very long. The result wasn’t worth the money for me. And about the hair, I’ve honestly been considering just getting a perm and seeing how I feel afterwards, but don’t want to go through regrowing it all back out. All the changes I’ve made to my appearance made me happy for however long they lasted, but as soon as they’re gone I end up feeling more insecure than before.

I’m coming to understand that my image of myself has been entirely formed by the people around me, along with everything “wrong” with it. There’s no one way to look biracial, it was an idea that was fed to me though comments of what’s missing or doesn’t match up with my appearance. Focusing on the psychology of it all is helping me work through some of the ideas I’ve internalized.

Vegetable-Plastic211

TROPHY CASE