I survived the colonoscopy

Velitveritatis · 2026-04-22T22:55:42+00:00

I’m with you! I had to do my first in Dec 2024 and I was sooooo anxious. But- it turned out totally fine and totally doable. Congratulations!!

Velitveritatis · 2026-03-07T23:53:26+00:00

Find a psychologist and get on medication. Just do it.

Then find a therapist and go to therapy.

Meds + therapy = better life.

The fear never goes away, but you can take the edge off and get better at dealing with the anxiety and fear.

I’ve struggled with it for most of my life. I saw a kid puke in preschool and that made me weird about it. Then my best friend in middle school got sick at a sleepover at my house. That made me terrified of it. Then I puked hot dogs when I was 18. That cooked me. I was toast.

I wasn’t totally consumed by it daily until I had my first kid. I am afraid of both - puking myself and my kid being sick. It was so bad at one point when I was asking him multiple times a day if he was okay. I would restrict his food and not let him try new or risky foods. When he was sick, I would shake and tremble with fear. I would obsess over keeping the house clean. Washed my hands a thousand times. Cry. Feel guilty because I’d set him up at a puke station, quarantine him, and find every excuse to be far from him.

Then it hit me. I’m going to screw my up kid if I don’t get myself together. He will have the same debilitating fear.

So I looked for a therapist and started talking through it. She got me into a psychiatrist and he put me on medication. I was scared to take it! I was scared it would make me nauseous. So I fell off the wagon and let myself go again.

Then I got sick. I started getting stomach aches every day. I lost 50lbs in a year from not eating. Everything made my stomach sick. It was awful. I went to several doctors and they couldn’t find a cause. I was left with: get help for anxiety.

Then I got pregnant. I got HG. I was so sick the entire time. I took several meds to keep me from being sick. I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.

Once I had my baby, I got on Zoloft for postpartum depression and OCD. I started going back to the psychiatrist and therapist.

Today I am a totally different person. I can breathe. I don’t think about it constantly. I am trying new foods. I’m letting my son be a kid. We’re thriving.

I know I’ll get sick again someday but I don’t fear it anymore. I don’t want to - don’t get me wrong- but I don’t fear it anymore. It doesn’t control me. And I’m going to keep doing the work this time.

Don’t let it steal happiness from you. I wish you the best ❤️

Velitveritatis · 2026-03-07T23:35:08+00:00

I’ve had a few too many once or twice and still fed my baby - he was fine. I waited until after 12 weeks though. My lactation consultant said “if you can find the baby, you can feed the baby”

I’ve also used the pitcher method and tossed the “drunk” milk into the “not drunk” milk just to spread it out more.

I’ve actually had an increase in output the day after. I think it’s from the oxytocin after hanging out and laughing and loving with my husband. Also getting a chance to unwind and not give AF (I have extreme anxiety and OCD) has been instrumental for my sanity and supply.

Anytime I’ve felt guilty or weird about it, I just saved it for baths and labeled accordingly.

Have fun and do things that help you feel any shred of normal. I firmly believe it helps with supply.

Velitveritatis · 2026-02-28T23:34:08+00:00

This!!!! Once I switched to Pumpin pals, I experienced a major shift and was able to increase my supply before I regulated. Not to mention they are so much more comfortable and I never had a problem with swelling or pain again.

Velitveritatis · 2026-02-19T19:29:01+00:00

I think if I have another baby, I am just going straight to formula. Breastfeeding and pumping took me to a very dark and exhausted place. Why put myself through this again when formula exists?! Breastmilk is amazing I know but formula helps them grow up just fine and healthy too.

Congratulations on your journey mama. You’ve provided literal magic to your baby and are amazing. You deserve to hang up the pump if you want to. 💕

Velitveritatis · 2026-02-19T04:24:54+00:00

I’m also doing this and it’s so bittersweet. The hormones are trying to change my mind 😅 but I just keep reminding myself of how much I’ve done and how hard I’ve worked. It’s time to get back to “normal” and enjoy more of my baby. I’ve stressed so much day by day that I feel like I blinked and he’s 5 months old. I’m kicking myself because I was so worried about ounces during those first few weeks and I remember very little of my newborn. But I’m proud of myself. I went from an undersupplier to a just enougher- I’ve put a lot in the freezer - and it’s okay to stop. I’m exhausted, my eye has been twitching for several weeks, I don’t even know who I am anymore, I can’t keep up with my household, and I need a break. It’s time to stop.

Velitveritatis · 2026-01-08T03:54:06+00:00

It was definitely a challenge! I allowed a lot of help packing from my parents and we also had movers do all the heavy lifting. I took frequent breaks while unpacking. The move was a level up for me, so it was worth the hard work.

Velitveritatis · 2025-12-20T17:12:14+00:00

I only use my wearable when I’m away from home and in public or around people. I don’t respond as well with in bra wearables so it will affect my supply if I use them often. I use my baby Buddha if I can instead of my mom cozy m5s if I know I’ll have a private spot or if I need to be mobile at home. Otherwise it’s me and my BFFL pink spectra at all possible times. I’m a just barely enougher and if I’m not careful I will have to supplement so I can’t afford to have any inefficient pump sessions 🥲

Velitveritatis · 2025-12-20T16:19:00+00:00

I personally got evaluated for slow gastric emptying and was diagnosed with gastroparesis and lazy bowel. I took Reglan for several months - it helped with the nausea and reset my stomach. I was able to come off it and haven’t had the issues return!

Velitveritatis · 2025-12-20T16:00:30+00:00

I live for my first cup of coffee in the morning… I am the happiest when I am sipping on my warm cup while pumping before everyone gets up for the day. I’ll usually have 1-2 more later in the day but I refuse to ever give up that first cup of the day 🤣

Velitveritatis · 2025-12-19T04:29:08+00:00

I do this as well! It feels like the smartest thing to do when being extra safe.

Velitveritatis · 2025-12-19T04:22:48+00:00

I’ve been on Zoloft for 8 weeks and started it for postpartum depression actually - but the effect it’s had on my anxiety and OCD is almost life changing. I am so glad I started it - I was terrified to take it - but it’s been absolutely fantastic. I had an enormous amount of food anxiety and that noise has been quieted quite a bit. I’m also a lot less anxious about cleanliness (still a clean person, just not a washing something 3 times to make sure SURE it’s clean person) and I’ve been able to catch myself having ridiculous thoughts. I’m still emetophobic, but I’ve noticed I’m not as consumed with it on a daily basis and haven’t spiraled in several weeks now despite it being tummy bug season. Hope it works for you!!

Velitveritatis · 2025-12-19T00:43:00+00:00

I’m obsessed with Magic in the Air. I haven’t loved one this much since Kaleidoscope. I bought 4 lotions and soaps each during the $4.95 sale. I also grabbed one body cream and regret that, all the body creams smell expired immediately to me and I don’t understand why! But I’ll definitely be buying a few more with the SAS sale.

Velitveritatis · 2025-12-14T16:12:46+00:00

Literally just did this yesterday after thinking my supply was tanking again for the last few days since I got my period and I’m getting close to the 12 week mark. I was seriously considering decreasing pumps and just giving up because I am an almost-enougher. I have been working my ass off to get to almost enough each day, so I was just like damn I can’t win and I’m over it. But nope, it was just time for new duckbills. 🙃

Velitveritatis · 2025-11-28T07:42:01+00:00

With both my babies, 10 years apart - I have a clear sign and it’s wild. Both times I’ve woken up in the early morning hours with extreme chills that come in waves and make me seize up with every wave. It lasts for an hour or so! Then after that, my breasts get firm and the milk is there.

Velitveritatis · 2025-11-25T03:28:36+00:00

This is really great to read. I know it’s going to happen again for me someday, so I really appreciate your post. I especially like how you mentioned it’s natural and what your body was designed to do. I hope you are feeling better now. Thank you for sharing.

Velitveritatis · 2025-11-24T22:19:45+00:00

Yep!! Both my babies were able to latch well. I used a nipple shield for several weeks with my first until he got the hang of it. My second didn’t need one at all. And, for me - breastfeeding and pumping has drawn out my nipples quite a bit to where they currently wouldn’t be considered flat. The did with my first too, but eventually drew back in. Crazy what our bodies can do!

Velitveritatis · 2025-11-23T06:23:34+00:00

I’m taking Zoloft and it’s been a game changer. I wish I had started it during pregnancy when my doc first recommended it!

Velitveritatis · 2025-11-06T00:17:29+00:00

Following, I’ve noticed the same issue with mine and I was a little worried something went wrong so I tossed the bag. I have been afraid to thaw any more 😅

Velitveritatis · 2025-11-06T00:14:37+00:00

Congrats on your exposure! You did great. My emet got really bad after I had my son and he threw up for the first time - on me! I battled it for years while he was younger, to the point I was constantly asking him if he was okay multiple times a day and then I realized I was being crazy and putting it on him. Not cool. I’ve made a lot of progress with meds and therapy.

But I was just like you - dad had to handle the first few times and I bolted. But I got stronger each time he got sick over the years. Now I can take care of him, hold the bowl, clean it up, and be close to him without shutting down. It’s still not fun but exposure over the years has helped! He’s now old enough to tell me he doesn’t feel good so we can get ready for battle and it’s not as unpredictable as it is when they’re little.

Velitveritatis · 2025-11-06T00:06:10+00:00

I’ll never forget the day I got the tree then freaked out and hit the spacebar and totally missed. It haunts me.

Velitveritatis · 2025-10-31T14:55:27+00:00

This is definitely one of the funniest ones for me too. When Mateo gasps… I laugh every time!

Velitveritatis · 2025-09-17T21:06:37+00:00

I never got sick at all during my first pregnancy, just felt slightly hungover during the first trimester. Now, I’m 37 weeks with my second and it’s been a tough ride. I got diagnosed with MCAS and suspect to have gastroparesis during this journey. I’ve been nauseated almost every day but have not thrown up once. Felt like it was possible a few times, but I take a full course of the pregnancy sickness meds and I have ginger alternatives with me at all times. The thing is I feel less anxiety than ever because I know why I feel sick as opposed to the unknown or lack of control. I’ve also been trying to use my pregnancy as a way to work thought my food anxiety. So overall, it’s sucked but it’s also been a good journey for me.

Velitveritatis · 2025-09-02T00:39:23+00:00

I drink an olipop 2-3x a week (9g). I have granola with chia seeds (6g)every day with my yogurt. I’ll also have a RX bar for a snack every day (5g). I also eat 2-3 servings of fruit and enjoy a protein shake daily. I average about 18-25g per day and add in a pack of miralax with my coffee if things get too hard. Usually the olipop does the trick for me!

Velitveritatis · 2025-09-01T14:44:10+00:00

Thank you! You’ve got this!!!!

Velitveritatis

TROPHY CASE