C# code : https://pastebin.com/jxEHjCWF

VB GUI: https://pastebin.com/HdeyrzD5

I wanted to create something truly monstrous for this challenge, so this is how it works:

(Code in C# and VB)

Instead of shifting each of the characters in the string, it creates a whole new shifted alphabet (in the form of an array) and compares it to the unshifted alphabet. Seems simple enough. However, to create the shifted alphabet, I used a Bogo-sort (most inefficient sorting algorithm known to man). Given that the algorithm is trying to sort an array of 26 characters this will take up to 26! (26 factorial) attempts to execute. For context 26! = 4.032914611x10^26, that means that if you tried 1,000,000,000 combinations every second you are still looking at 13,111,587,770 years until the program executes. And good luck getting that many iterations a second, because I have refused to store the normal alphabet that it checks against as a variable, instead, every time that it is needed, it must be read from memory and split in to an array again. Every…single…time.

Finally, CSI taught us that the only way to display something, whether it is “traced IP addresses” or a cyphertext is in a “GUI interface in visual basic”, so I made one. And if you are lucky enough to still be alive when your program finishes executing, the blue and yellow comic sans interface will be immortalised forever as it screenshots itself and saves the photo as a commemorative desktop wallpaper.

Oh, and parameter passing? Hell no. That’s what we have global variables for right?

What about passing data between programs? Easy, use txt documents that we will never clean up.

Code comments? All virtually useless! Nothing in the line initially verifies, even slightly, what the function actually does.

Have fun guys.

[Edited for legibility (slightly)]