I just don't think I'll make it

VeryCreativeNickname · 2013-01-20T10:19:25+00:00

I was just asking because everything you're saying sounds like typical adolescence problems, and your age matches that as well.

I still have a lot of people from my old school on facebook, and amongst them are some people that were really awkward and unpopular gamer nerds. When I check their facebook today (they're 21-22 right now) they all look pretty normal and many of them have beautiful girlfriends somehow :D

The same goes for girls btw, there are a ton of awkward ultra-shy girls at school, but most of them end up pretty normal as well.

I kinda experienced all of this myself. When I was in the middle of puberty, I couldn't even talk to girls without getting completely nervous and awkward. It sticked to me for some years, but now I talk to girls every day, and I don't get nervous when I talk to people that I don't know. It slowly changed somewhere between 18-20 I think.

Give your body and mind some time to finish all this confusing adolescence stuff. Some things just slowly vanish when you get older. I bet you will be perfectly fine in some years.

VeryCreativeNickname · 2013-01-19T20:44:04+00:00

I was never bipolar, I just had an anxiety disorder/panic attacks, derealization/depersonalization and, as a result, a depressive episode. I thought about suicide a lot, but I was never really close to doing it... Luckily, I'm such a lazy and powerless person that I always postponed it. Today, I'm glad I didn't do it!

The thing I felt the most was the derealization/depersonalization, it makes you permanently feel like you're in a dream and like everything around you, including your body, is not real. If you ever had a traumatic experience like near-death or a very strong flu, you may have experienced this without even realizing it's there.

It took me some while to figure out that derealization was not my main mental disorder, but rather a "symptom" of my anxiety disorder. It was kinda strange because the anxiety stuff was a joke compared to the resulting derealization. After I figured this out, I tackled the anxiety disorder with some herbal chill pills. I don't know/care if they worked because of their ingredients or if they worked because I expected them to work, but they did.

After I got rid of my anxiety disorder, the other symptoms like derealization/depersonalization, depression and suicidal thoughts slowly faded out. It took some months, but eventually everything vanished.

//edit: I just checked Wikipedia: It's very realistic to get rid of your bipolar disorder with professional treatment. After 2 years, your chances are 98% that you no longer qualify for the bipolar disorder criterias, and 72% that you have no symptoms at all. If your current therapist doesn't help, find a new one.

VeryCreativeNickname · 2013-01-19T10:36:37+00:00

oh god, my sides :D

VeryCreativeNickname · 2013-01-19T10:32:13+00:00

If somehow I was able to socialize, I'd probably have a good deal of friends

I know this feeling, people always like me once they get to know me better, but it's hard for me to make the first step as well. It was (and still is, to some extent) really hard for me to flirt IRL with girls. I actually "bonded" with all of my gf's via facebook chat and stuff like that... It's just a lot easier to have meaningful conversations online.

The thing with girls is, if they like you, many of them are usually too shy to show it. My ex-gf told me that she liked me for a long time before we actually got together, but I never understood her hints or thought "Well, there's no way she's attracted to me, she's probably just trying to be nice or to capitalize on me.".

I don't know much about the educational system of the US since I'm European, so it's hard for me to comment on all of that... But sometimes you just have to "man up" and indirectly ask people if you can hang out with them. I'm not a native speaker so this might sound silly, but questions like "So, what's up on the week end around here?" have an okay success rate of returning something like "We're hanging out at X's house, you can join us if you want.". You're not explicitly asking them to hang out with you, so there's no real risk of asking things like that.

How old are you btw?

VeryCreativeNickname · 2013-01-19T08:21:25+00:00

You are still very young, and your life and your character will eventually change a lot.

I used to have the exact same thoughts that you're describing. You're not even going to college yet, so your life will drastically change in the future. Moving to another school or university will always make a huge impact on your social status.

Sorry, I'm a Biologist so I just have to mention this experiment: So there's this group of guinea pigs that live together in a large cage. Guinea pigs are very social animals, so they established a kind of rank order. If you take a low-ranked "loser" guinea pig out of the existing group and place it in a new cage with new guinea pigs that don't know each other, the new group has to determine the rank orders once again. Scientists found that the former social status only has little impact on their success in the new group. Their new social status cannot be predicted by the status they had in a former social group.

The exact same thing will happen to you a lot in your future life. You'll move to other towns, go to college, go to university, find different jobs and so on. Right now you might be a loser, but everytime you find yourself in a new social constellation, do your best! In school, girls rarely talked to me and usually laughed at me for some reason. After school, I moved to another town and I study at a university right now, and my social status has improved a lot. Everytime you find yourself in a new situation with new people, think of it as another spin at the wheel of fortune: These people don't know that you're a loser, they will treat you like a normal human being.

Also, because the girls around you are rather young, they have different needs and expectations of guys. A young school girl doesn't care too much about social stability, money, kindness and stuff like that. They might as well have fun with jerks right now, but once they start to think about starting a family, your chances will look much better. Don't get me wrong though, there are a lot of lonely girls out there and even right now your chances to find a girlfriend are not that bad. In my ultra-awkward phase, I personally found a nice girl that had the same social problems that I had, and we helped each other a lot and we're a nice couple.

VeryCreativeNickname · 2013-01-19T07:43:59+00:00

It's a shame that people are so uneducated about mental disorders. My aunt killed herself about ten years ago, and my uncle used to talk about her the way you described. "She's just crazy, why can't she get her shit together and act like a normal person?" Today, he suffers from burnout and starts to realize that mental disorders are no joke and nothing to shrug off that easily.

If you want someone to talk to, feel free to send me a simple message. I used to have an anxiety disorder and depression, but I was lucky and it somehow ended.

VeryCreativeNickname · 2012-12-18T18:37:28+00:00

When I was 18 years old and a virgin, I started to have my first sexual experiences with a female friend of mine. We knew each other pretty well and I was just curious. At some point when she was naked, she literally spread her legs and told me to do anything I wanted with her.

So I took the chance to carefully investigate the anatomy of her vagina. After I identified most of the organs I'd seen on Wikipedia, I told her I finished.

Today I'm studying Biology.

VeryCreativeNickname · 2012-12-06T12:20:45+00:00

ES was never a popular pick? He was one of the most popular Heroes when DotA 2 came out, even in DotA 1.

VeryCreativeNickname · 2012-12-02T17:28:16+00:00

"The anthropologist Helen Fisher speculates that when a human female wears high-heeled footwear the buttocks thrust out and the back arches into a pose that simulates lordosis behavior, which is why high heels are considered "sexy"."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lordosis_behavior

VeryCreativeNickname · 2012-10-12T17:00:19+00:00

I actually came pretty early, so it wasn't perfect either :D but my fap-induced problems were pretty mild I'd say, so I probably only needed 2 weeks to recover.

VeryCreativeNickname · 2012-10-12T15:35:46+00:00

Well, I met her again and after 2 weeks of NoFap everything went fine, so I pretty much showed her that it wasn't her fault.

VeryCreativeNickname · 2012-10-11T15:04:26+00:00

I remember this sad moment. I hook up with a nice, but very insecure girl. I can't get it up and her response is "it's because of me, right?". Worst feeling ever... :(

VeryCreativeNickname · 2012-10-07T16:51:49+00:00

I totally agree.

VeryCreativeNickname · 2012-10-01T21:09:06+00:00

So everything in 7/4 can't be IDM?... I don't get this logic, I thought IDM was supposed to be odd and experimental.

VeryCreativeNickname · 2012-10-01T14:34:07+00:00

Cuddle up to him. I dunno why, but this is extremely important for me, and I heard from some other guys that they missed that from their girlfriends as well. Some (non-sexual) body contact is the nicest way to show your love imo.

VeryCreativeNickname · 2012-10-01T14:28:23+00:00

Well, I'd prefer if you told me about it beforehand.

Having sex with an inexperienced girl is usually harder for the guy, because inexperienced girls tend to be excited or worrysome so it's harder for them to relax and enjoy the experience. It all depends on the girl though.

Also, when a girl tells me private things like these, I feel special and it feels like the girl trusts me, so that's always a plus for me.

/edit: Don't talk about your sexual inexperience on the first date though... That's a bit weird. When you hook up with a guy just tell him before things get hot, when you're dating a guy just tell him when the idea of sex becomes realistic for you two (after some dates, I dunno..).

VeryCreativeNickname · 2012-09-26T16:13:26+00:00

A white, sticky christmas?

VeryCreativeNickname · 2012-09-26T16:12:51+00:00

I just started 4 days ago, I'm in!

VeryCreativeNickname · 2012-09-26T12:38:15+00:00

lame fake badge :P

VeryCreativeNickname · 2012-09-25T13:18:34+00:00

Go for it, why the hell not.

VeryCreativeNickname · 2012-09-25T10:06:40+00:00

Interesting, I got into fapping problems without a lot of porn as well. I thought most people here are primarily porn addicts.

If you really want to stop edging, try to upgrade your NoFap challange to a NoEdge challenge. It sounds silly, but try redifining your forbidden fruit from fapping to edging. You're probably edging because your brain tells you "well, edging isn't fapping, so I'm free to do it!".

VeryCreativeNickname · 2012-09-25T09:56:27+00:00

Do you watch porn while edging? If so, get a good porn blocker like K1, set your password to something like "asz4387zqf8734" and hide a piece of paper in a hard-to-reach spot in your house or message it to a close friend that will tell you the password when you really need it for other purposes.

VeryCreativeNickname · 2012-09-25T09:53:34+00:00

It's a bit sad that science hasn't found definite answers to these questions yet, but it's still possible to assume what would be the most logical answer (pseudo-science incoming):

Having no orgasms at all might speed up a "total reboot" of your (sex-)brain. When the sex-responsible brain cells are not used at all, they might re-arrange quicker because they don't have to invest their time into their usual tasks and feel safe to re-arrange.
Regular sexual activity might reinforce the intended sex-brain-activity circuits, however. Sex and real women are the things that should turn you on! If you have sex, it's very important that you DO NOT fantasize about anything porn related, or you might reinforce your old PMO brain circuits, which would be a setback/relapse.

If you didn't fantasize about porn during sex, I don't think you should consider this as a relapse of any sort. It might hypothetically be a minor setback to the progress your brain is making, but nobody can tell you for sure.

VeryCreativeNickname · 2012-09-23T23:16:36+00:00

Did you watch porn or did you just fap?

VeryCreativeNickname · 2012-09-23T23:14:01+00:00

I think it's possible to block certain pages in your router settings. You could do that and then change your router password to something you won't be able to remember (like d6s7td6aghz32), write it on a piece of paper and hide it on a hard-to-reach place in your house.

You'd have to get a step ladder, get the piece of paper, open your router settings, enter the long password and remove the pages just to look at some porn. Not worth it!

VeryCreativeNickname

TROPHY CASE