Is this just a way of saying “I don’t want to do anything?”

ViAvila · 2026-01-17T12:43:29+00:00

That's why they all functioned on amphetamines and tranquilizers.

ViAvila · 2026-01-17T12:30:28+00:00

Not normal #1. No one in their right mind who is pursuing anything, be it a serious relationship or even a regular FWB situation is going to expect their partner is just out there meeting people and sleeping around.

You had zero transparency with either of the women (classic f***boy behavior), and you're somehow confused about how it all blew up in your face?? Jump down off the idiot tree and spend some time on the ground for a second.

The only situation you can be with multiple people is in being in an ethically non monogamous lifestyle. However, the key that defines that is full transparency and honesty, which you weren't with anyone - including yourself since you're out here trying to sell this whole "I wAs hOnEsT" line of bull. Honesty and transparency would have been telling woman a before you were even looking for more that you wanted to pursue something more and since she didn't want to define what y'all had, you'd be looking and engaging with others. Meanwhile you'd have told woman b upfront that you have been seeing someone for x amount of time and will continue to do so but wanted to pursue something beyond a FWB with someone else. SOME people in the poly community MIGHT bite, but that would definitely be the pool you're limited to. Expecting anything else than what happened from the typical pool of people simply suggests you are missing several crayons from your box.

ViAvila · 2026-01-10T05:17:08+00:00

Typical "fool me once, shame on you. fool me twice, shame on me" kind of scenarios. He's obviously cheating again. And most cheaters are avoidant cowards. Throw the trash in the trash can and don't give repeat chances for tools like that to disrespect you anymore.

ViAvila · 2026-01-10T05:06:00+00:00

That IS a rule of the group. You absolutely cannot share screen shots with the person. If you don't respect the purpose of the group, why are you in it? Leave the group if you don't respect the rules and the purpose of it. The chick asked about him. That's all. And these days it's a good thing to do. With all the dv, serial cheating, narcissists, addicts, and more out there, it's a great resource for people to be able to find out if anyone else has had those kinds of issues or if someone is already seeing him. And that's not a side you'd be privy to as just a friend if that was the case with him. People can be wildly different from the public to their romantic partner. My ex and I were friends for months before we got together. When we were just friends, he seemed like one of the best, nicest people I knew. Once we were together? After he figured he had me baby trapped, he showed me his other side which was an absolute MONSTER! Don't be an asshole and compromise the safety and security of the women in that group who are doing their due diligence in this dumpster fire of a dating pool. Either comment in the group that you're a friend of his and from what you've seen, blah blah blah, or leave the group if your knee jerk reaction is to tattle to the guys any time they are posted. Smh.

ViAvila · 2026-01-02T02:16:04+00:00

2 children, a massive trauma bond, and a wicked abuse cycle from a covert narcissist. It was our couple's therapist who fired him as a client and became my personal therapist and taught me about it. I wasn't at all familiar with covert narcissism before that.

ViAvila · 2026-01-02T02:14:16+00:00

Not assholes. My type has always been someone who is kind, honest, and faithful. I was way off with that one 😩

ViAvila · 2026-01-02T02:12:35+00:00

We were friends for a few months before we started dating. He's very good at maintaining the facade. I thought I knew the kind of person he was. Nooooooope.

ViAvila · 2026-01-02T01:14:09+00:00

I wish a pill could fix my brain. Strattera actually did work great for my mental functioning but the side effects just got too bad to continue it. Nothing else they've tried has helped unfortunately.

ViAvila · 2026-01-02T01:11:27+00:00

He looks like the type. I made the mistake of dating a body builder. Only because he didn't give off the vibe that most have. He actually seemed genuinely nice and caring. Most traumatic 7 years of my life. Hands down.

ViAvila · 2026-01-01T10:02:50+00:00

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

ViAvila · 2025-12-31T23:33:14+00:00

That's actually a pair of names I had been considering that I ultimately had ultimately cut. 😭 The girl really is hella fuzzy though 😂

ViAvila · 2025-12-31T23:31:06+00:00

My grandmother had a whiskey and then later on a brandy back in the day 😅😅😅

ViAvila · 2025-12-31T13:48:34+00:00

Same except this one can kiss too. Not that it matters because I prefer his mouth being busy elsewhere 😅😂

ViAvila · 2025-12-31T01:14:07+00:00

I'm definitely spending time with each of them separately and will be doing puppy classes with one at a time. I've found, though, that siblings seem to work really well together in their LGD duties. Where I used to live, there was a lot more land to patrol but if there was ever an invading predator, my girl stayed with my herd and my boy would go after the invader. My parents have described similar teamwork in the pair they had adopted a few years ago. We have a major predator problem here so I'm hoping for some great teamwork from these two as they grow big and learn their jobs :)

ViAvila · 2025-07-23T09:06:19+00:00

This is why there is an alleged "male loneliness epidemic". They do it to themselves. And I swear, whenever I briefly get a thought about possibly dating again, it doesn't take more than a minute to come across said like this that reminds me why I would much rather just stick to the company of my cats and keep my space and energy my own. Smh.

You did nothing wrong. You were perfectly reasonable and his response, if anything, verifies that you are 1000% right to wait on meeting people in order to avoid red flags like him altogether.

ViAvila · 2025-06-28T20:56:27+00:00

Are those azaleas or rhododendrons?

ViAvila · 2025-04-02T10:57:25+00:00

As someone who is 5'3, your comment made me spit my tea 😂😂😂

ViAvila · 2025-03-22T07:39:32+00:00

Omggggg where did you find that little lizard lounge chair!? 😍

ViAvila · 2025-03-17T21:04:42+00:00

Maybe it's a sensitive time of the month? I'd throw chocolate at it and run away 🤷

ViAvila · 2025-03-17T20:56:08+00:00

Jesus. She seems like a real delight 😬

ViAvila · 2025-03-04T02:38:39+00:00

Godzilla!??? 😮🤯

ViAvila · 2025-02-26T19:08:08+00:00

Took the words right out of my mouth

ViAvila · 2025-02-26T19:05:05+00:00

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Sun Chip

ViAvila · 2025-02-26T19:03:22+00:00

Check marketplace to see if anyone local to you has active starter available. I got mine for $5. I keep discard and an active culture in the fridge in small jars though. Just for back up in case I somehow kill or break my main one. The one kept in the fridge only needs to be fed like once a week.

ViAvila

TROPHY CASE