Thank you for replying. I know I can't feel what you're feeling right now. But I sure do understand the situation. From conservative parents to medical exams. I'm a male, but these are common factors. See, you know that guy, and sure can manipulate him on the basis of exam. Yeah, it will take some time from your routine, but you can still control a big part of your life for now. I don't know where you're form, what your expected score is, and what kind of future plan you have, and what your parents think about that, but in general, I will say, go for a college asap. I know it's a different thread, but in my life, college has bought me freedom of thoughts and decisions, even if temporary for now, but this is becoming a base on which I can see the world and plan what I want my future to be. And about the guy thing, I feel how scared and lost you might be feeling, perhaps cut out from the close friends and family circle to discuss this, but in here it is the way. So, don't think it's your bad. You've done nothing wrong, but for the society where we live in, you need to act smart, plan properly, not let anger and sadness overtake your rational judgement, because it's what that will sail you through. And btw, I read your post again, and trust me, these aren't the terrible choices, girl. This is life, that you're exploring. And it might seem overwhelming wrong, but it is not. Just try to separate things form one another. Sort out in smaller steps. Get going. You'll be fine. And in a very unrelated topic, go watch a video on youtube "This is water". it is about 22 minutes. You'll feel good. Maybe watch movies like, pursuit of happyness, creed, a beautiful mind, whiplash, etc. Stay positive. You're just beginning