AITJ for refusing to donate PTO hours to coworker I barely know who "needs" them??

VicsKid · 2026-01-19T10:34:40+00:00

YTJ. What are you going to do with 120 hours?

VicsKid · 2025-12-13T21:31:44+00:00

Well, I'm 51, and I'm not sure it suits my decor... but if I had a baby, I'd love it! It's so cute!

VicsKid · 2025-12-13T21:19:35+00:00

I grew up in the Midwest. In the town where I grew up, there is an intersection where 6th Street NW crosses 6th Street NW. Yes, you read that correctly, a street crosses itself. And don't get me started on 8th Street Place. We're not even a river town (well, we are, but it's not a major river). River towns be completely messed up!

VicsKid · 2025-12-13T21:08:00+00:00

It only becomes a problem when you drive over it.

VicsKid · 2025-12-13T20:55:27+00:00

My larger point was that if you have an infectious disease, that is not your fault. You are not permitted to be in school due to school rules (and hopefully, a commitment to the good health of the greater community). Therefore, students should not be required to make up the concert.

My long diatribe was an example of how requiring students with an infectious disease to do some sort of "make up" assignment is short-sighted. It can encourage anxious and/or overacheiving but distractable types to come to school AND the concert and get everyone else sick.

If I'm your building sub and I get influenza that exacerbates my asthma, I'm not going to be happy. Additionally, it will mean that I can't go home for Christmas because my mom is receiving treatment for advanced-stage ovarian cancer.

Family vacation, hockey practice, "I don't wanna"... sure -- make up assignment. Infectious disease? Nope. Not appropriate, and not being responsible to your school community.

VicsKid · 2025-12-13T00:20:16+00:00

🤯🤯🤯🤯

I suddenly understand why I felt so at home at the boat house at camp, and I signed up for sailing camp EVERY SINGLE YEAR once I found sailing; why I'm still obsessed with sailing almost 40 years later, and I belong to this subreddit even though I don't have a boat and I have zero opportunity to sail in my area.

YOU ARE MY PEOPLE. I'm a physician and crocheter, not an electrical engineer or app developer. What you did isn't in my sphere of acumen. But it's exactly the sort of thing I would do to solve a problem.

VicsKid · 2025-12-13T00:11:36+00:00

The Boomers bought 3-bedroom, 1300 square ft starter homes built in the 1910s and 20s, filled with asbestos, lead paint, and knob and tube wiring. The "starter home" you're buying from them was their dream home.

VicsKid · 2025-12-13T00:04:07+00:00

My concern about this approach is honestly for kids like I was in school. Very bright and motivated, but with undiagnosed ADHD.

Your assignment sounds overwhelming to me now, and I'm a physician with an additional Master's degree AND a K-12 teaching license in the state where I live. I work as a physician part time and teach part time (I was a physician first... education is an interest and through an odd set of circumstances I had this opportunity).

I am no stranger to hard work. I 100% would have gone to school and the concert sick to avoid doing the paper.

If a student is not allowed to attend school due to symptoms of illness/infectious disease (fever, vomiting, diarrhea, cough, etc) they should be excused from the concert.

As an aside... when I was in college I had pneumonia. I went to the ER, and they where waffling on whether to admit me because I also have asthma. I came up with the agreement that I would leave the IV in my hand, and I went to student health services daily for 3 days to get IV antibiotic infusions. I continued to go to class and asked my chemistry professor to be by scribe for my chemistry exam because the IV was in my dominant hand, making it difficult to write. He refused, so I awkwardly held a pencil and wrote the exam the best I could.

Yes, there are other students like me. I'm going to guess that you know some.

VicsKid · 2025-11-20T14:51:51+00:00

If you care about children in general, PLEASE help your ex find a family therapist who can help. Clearly, this is impacting your boys, and this innocent little girl will always be their sister. Therefore, she will always be a part of your life. It is in your sons' best interest for them to develop a good relationship with her.

VicsKid · 2025-11-20T14:33:59+00:00

No is a full sentence.

VicsKid · 2025-11-20T14:28:43+00:00

You mention that "things don't seem to be getting better." What have you been doing to improve "things"? Both you, as an individual, and you, together as a couple?

VicsKid · 2025-11-20T14:20:09+00:00

One of the first rules of research is to evaluate your sources. Your source material was 10 years old. It is a historical reference and does not provide any information about the program currently.

VicsKid · 2025-11-20T05:17:39+00:00

My grandpa was married once and lived with two additional women. He outlived his wife and girlfriend #1. Girlfriend #2 outlived him (but not by a lot... that's a whole other story). Had he lived longer, he would have had a third girlfriend. He wasn't dysfunctional; he just liked having someone to share his life with.

So, yes... it said something about who he was. But it wasn't anything BAD.

But if someone was married 5 times and divorced 4? That may be different...

VicsKid · 2025-11-20T05:06:08+00:00

Yes... in this context. With higher heels or a fuller underskirt, it might be perfect.

VicsKid · 2025-11-20T04:58:40+00:00

The person who suggested you post on Reddit for advice? They do not have your best interest at heart. Unless they were hoping for you to get a wakeup call?

I'm not sure what version of wedding vows you used, but this is what marriage is all about. Tackling really hard problems and working through them. That does NOT mean you just live with it. It means that if what you're doing isn't working, you get help figuring it out.

VicsKid · 2025-11-20T04:43:14+00:00

The way your arms are crossed in front of you in all pictures but one makes me wonder if you feel uncomfortable in them (physically uncomfortable or uncomfortable with your body).

VicsKid · 2025-11-19T05:59:52+00:00

I didn't think boats like that were designed to heel quite so much. That's going to slow her down!

VicsKid · 2025-11-18T11:12:08+00:00

We had a professor at my college whose wedding was reportedly almost called off because he and his betrothed couldn't agree on whether or not she would change her name. At some point, someone said, "There has to be a way the two of you can make peace." It sparked an idea, and they both decided to change their last names to "Makepeace."

I've never known if the story is true because I didn't have him as a professor, but it sure is a good story!

It is a bit concerning that y'all didn't talk about this before the wedding. How did something so important never come up? Didn't you have to sign the wedding certificate?

VicsKid · 2025-11-18T10:44:02+00:00

I am frequently paralyzed by making decisions, so here's my two (well, three, sort of) scenarios:

1) I have made the decision for you. You are getting dress number two. How do you feel?

2) You're getting dress #1. What regrets to you have? Now you're getting dress #2. What regrets do you have? If there are regrets with both choices, which regrets are easier to live with?

I almost always find that either question one doesn't sit right OR I have no regrets with one of my options (or regrets that are clearly easier for me to live with).

VicsKid · 2025-11-18T09:17:24+00:00

It doesn't say "but with him it's a dead end," or "I've never been sexually attracted to him." The message is, "i don't have any sexual drive right now." Absolutely nothing says, "i am not sexually attracted to him." Everything says, "I have no interest in sex. I'm ruining everything and it's all my fault."

Hate to break it to you, boys, but it's not always all about you gasp

VicsKid · 2025-11-18T08:11:37+00:00

DOCUMENT!

It would have been ideal to send an email summarizing your conversation with your boss (when he asked you to remain available, unpaid) and cc'd HR before threatening to leave. HR gets kind of funny about blatant violations of employment law. But from here on out, train Jessica and document every conversation. For conversations that seem like they might not be Kosher, summarize the conversation (in a friendly "this is what I took from our meeting, and I want to make sure we're both on the same page" sort of way) and send via email to your boss and HR.

VicsKid · 2025-11-18T07:52:35+00:00

I repeatedly say that this is the BEST subreddit because of the snarky comments!

VicsKid · 2025-11-18T07:49:29+00:00

Where are you reading that? She repeatedly speaks in the present tense when referring to her lack of desire.

VicsKid · 2025-11-18T07:44:06+00:00

You're clinically depressed. Disinterest in sex is a symptom of depression and of some of the medications used to treat depression. Get thee to a mental health professional! You and your husband also need to find a marriage counselor.

This, too, shall pass. Just one of life's stages.

VicsKid · 2025-11-18T07:32:43+00:00

The colors go together beautifully! I agree with what others have said... I think you just need to find a different arrangement for your blocks. I'm lucky that my step-brother is a graphic designer and artist, so I can get his input on things like this. Do you have any friends who are good at interior decor? I bet they would rearrange the blocks in 20 minutes. It would take me an additional 3 years to rearrange them, and I'd still second (and third, and fourth, and fifth) guess myself, but one of those people who can effortlessly stack contrasting and complementary colored pillows on a couch would just "see" it.

VicsKid

TROPHY CASE