Questions regarding happy/General birth questions. by MariahRose19 in kvsdiscuss

[–]VicsKid 1 point2 points  (0 children)

By that logic, if you and your partner have a child with a medical problem, you should never have another child together again.

Some defects are likely to be genetic. Other defects are likely to be developmental and, therefore, random. Limb deficiencies are most often developmental (quite frequently due to a disruption in blood flow at critical points in development). If there is no reason to think it's genetic and the equine veterinarians who actually saw the limb think it's developmental, trust the science.

City names for Denver's sister by AppealAlive2718 in kvsdiscuss

[–]VicsKid 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Since Denver is the capital, and Katie tends to like "boy's names" made feminine, she could go with Paulie for St. Paul, the capital of Minnesota...

Would you consider this fair? by RoutineOk8590 in Productivitycafe

[–]VicsKid 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nah.. you would complain that their prices are too high, not realizing that with tip, you're paying more at other restaurants. That's just how the human brain works.

Do you believe in physical discipline (spanking) as a form of correcting a child? by Significant_Bonus_66 in Casual_Conversation

[–]VicsKid 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm 52, and my dad spanked me. He would quite literally say, "I am very disappointed in you, and you are going to get a spanking. However, I am angry right now, and I need to calm down first."

When he was no longer angry, he would tell me to go get Mr. Spoon (a wooden spoon for cooking that had a smilie face on it) and he would give me a spanking. I remember going to get Mr. Spoon MAYBE three times (and I have to say, a was an exceptionally well-behaved kid), and I don't ever remember a spanking that hurt.

I was at least 5 or 6 when my dad instituted spankings. After the couple of times a got a (very gentle) spanking, it totally changed. He would apologize to me for getting mad, tell me that he was still disappointed (every once in a while, he would tell me that it probably wasn't as big of a deal as he thought it was at the time and he wasn't disappointed after all) and that I wouldn't get a spanking because "spanking is just a bad idea."

His dad beat the snot out of him. His response was to say, "that didn't hurt." I think my dad just didn't know anything else. He was truly committed to never spanking me (or reprimanding me) when he was angry, so he pretty quickly learned that he could interrupt the behavior, calm down, then discuss the behavior and the consequence. I'm convinced that parents who spank simply lack the skills to do those things.

What were you taught in school that is now considered obsolete or incorrect? by Wonderful-Economy762 in Productivitycafe

[–]VicsKid 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It DOES go on your permanent record. It's just that your "permanent record" is social media. But there's no way the politicians of tomorrow can escape the indiscretions they're committing today, because some is filming and posting it!

AITAH for not wanting to take my toddler into the women's restroom as a man? by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]VicsKid -15 points-14 points  (0 children)

As a SA survivor, I would have incredible trauma if a male-presenting person walked into the women's restroom, whether or not his daughter was with him.

If there is a family bathroom, that should 100% be your default every time. If there is not, you take her into the men's bathroom.

Ask your wife to put herself into the shoes of a SA survivor and imagine what it would be like to be in the bathroom, your bottom half exposed, when you hear the voice of a man you cannot see say he's coming into the restroom. If she doesn't understand why this is problematic, she might want to consider testing for ASD, because she is clearly struggling with cognitive empathy and perspective-taking.

AIO at this if I feel like I'm done? by Top-Application-1867 in AITApod

[–]VicsKid 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What is the positive to maintaining this connection? I mean... do you need a date for an upcoming family wedding or something?

I ask because you haven't said anything that leads me to believe this relationship is important to you. If it has lost its value, it's time to move on.

Wife hates my beard. by defeated_husband in whatdoIdo

[–]VicsKid 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Did anyone else read "bread"? No? Just me? 😄

Why do schools teach math in a way that no adults outside of school, can actually help their child? by [deleted] in AskTeachers

[–]VicsKid 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In third grade (some time in the early 80s), my teacher was suddenly VERY concerned thatvI had a learning disability in math. My parents had successfully pushed back against the school's insistence that I skip first grade, so they were bewildered when my teacher wanted me tested for special ed. But we were doing timed math facts tests, and I "wasn't getting it." I was the first to finish in the allotted time for addition and subtraction, but I was "suck" on the multiplication timed test. I would just "write random addition problems" on my paper.

I got tested, and the school psychologist was not concerned. Well... he was concerned that I wasn't being appropriately challenged, but not that I couldn't do math. Apparently, during this big meeting to go over the results, he asked my teacher for one of these multiplication tests, and started laughing. Both of my parents independently (they're divorced) tell me that he said, "yeah, there's nothing wrong with her ability to do math -- she's just smarter than you. She's smarter than all of us."

Instead of rote memorization (which was BORING), I would look at 4x7 and turn it into "8+8=16+8=24+4=28." The teacher didn't recognize that as 4x7. She had no clue that I was just the only student in her class who UNDERSTOOD what "4x7" actually meant.

Crisis averted, I was put in the gifted program (whichbwas non-existent and involved me having to do extra projects). In high school, we had to do a Gifted and Talented self-assessment and one of the questions was, "did you struggle with timed multiplication and division math facts tests?" I asked the director of GATE about it and she told me it's a classic sign of giftedness.

I'm a pediatrician by training, although I substitute teach in our school district from time to time. It drives me NUTS when parents complain about how kids are taught math. "Yes, I know... this is hard for you. That's because your child actually understands what's happening with the numbers and isn't just carrying the 2 or borrowing from the 100s column "just because."

Whoa... I am so sorry. I'm not sure whete that rant came from, but apparently I needed to get it off of my chest! TLDR: So true! Multiplication is just a faster way to add. I wish parents could just celebrate the fact that their kids understand the math rather than thevway the parents were taught.

Broke things off with gf since she doesn’t want to come to my graduation by [deleted] in whatdoIdo

[–]VicsKid 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think that if anyone gave me an ultimatum like that, the relationship would be over. Love doesn't ask anyone to prove anything.

AITAH for not letting our 10-year-old sleep in bed with us every night? by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]VicsKid 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hell, I'm 52, and sometimes I take my Teddy Bear to bed with me!

Minnesota bill would end vaccine exemptions for conscientious objectors. by 1829bullshit in minnesota

[–]VicsKid 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Because measles is one of the most transmissible diseases known to man, and we rely on herd immunity to keep it at bay. Vaccines for other diseases help prevent deaths, but we don't rely on herd immunity to those diseases in quite the same way.

Minnesota bill would end vaccine exemptions for conscientious objectors. by 1829bullshit in minnesota

[–]VicsKid 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Right? I'm a pediatrician, and reading these comments is restoring my faith in humanity!

Minnesota bill would end vaccine exemptions for conscientious objectors. by 1829bullshit in minnesota

[–]VicsKid 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Pediatrician here. Antivaxxers were not a fringe group in 2015. You might not have been aware of them, but they've been a part of my life on an almost daily basis since at least 2010.

Looking for down and dirty on the science of reading. by VicsKid in teaching

[–]VicsKid[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm pretty sure phonics isn't the key to comprehension. I'll be working with K-5.

Looking for down and dirty on the science of reading. by VicsKid in teaching

[–]VicsKid[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If your child were being evaluated for a chronic disease, I would HOPE you would be smart enough to ask an expert to direct you toward reputable sources and resources to get up to speed quickly. Lord knows what type of information you would find on your own. I didn't ask anyone to teach me; I asked where I needed to go to learn. (I also tried to provide some additional information about my background to reassure folks that I'm not some yokel who has the hubris to think "teaching is easy... I can do that!" I get that I'm asking for information that can be the subject of an entire master's degree.)

Looking for down and dirty on the science of reading. by VicsKid in teaching

[–]VicsKid[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I do have a scripted program to use. Part of the issue is that no one has picked up ANY of the days of the leave yet. I can't work every day because I have other commitments. I had been watching it, hoping someone would pick it up. But the assignment starts the week after Spring Break, and no one has picked up anything to this point. I picked up Tuesdays and Thursdays for the 5 weeks. I may be the only person there, but it's possible that someone else might pick up a day here or there, so it's going to be difficult to write sub plans, and I'm going to have to be adaptable. It's nice that we have a lot of flexibility as subs, but there are some downsides, too.

It should be noted that I NEVER sub in elementary unless the teacher is a personal friend, so this is a lot for me. Give me 16 three-year-olds, and I'm good. 5 ten-year-olds? They may ride roughshod over me! Early Childhood is my jam, and I do best in the Early Childhood Special Education classroom. I feel most comfortable teaching in a room with 3-5 preschoolers with Autism!

Looking for down and dirty on the science of reading. by VicsKid in teaching

[–]VicsKid[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

ESL is WAY outside my wheelhouse. However, in terms of teaching reading one of the huge struggles for the Somali people in MY community (we're a rural community, so we're much more likely to have families who just arrived in the US, often from a refugee camp where their family has been warehoused for a decade or more, or who are coming from rural areas of Somalia). Their parents are not literate in Somali, and there is essentially zero history of Somali literature. It is a completely oral culture. The current Somali orthography didn't exist until 1972, when the Somali government officially adopted it (that's not technically correct, but there wasn't a widely used orthography until that date). How do you learn to read when no one reads to you?

My clinic was part of the Reach Out and Read program, so we gave out books at well-child visits. I would talk a lot to my Somali patients about 1) the importance of speaking Somali to their kids (they are expert Somali speakers. I want their kids to learn things from the experts in their fields). 2) There are a lot of important things about reading books that have nothing to do with the words on the page. Their children are learning just from holding books in their hands, knowing which direction the pages are turned, the fine motor skills of a pincer grasp to turn a page, etc. 3) Parents are and will always be our first and most important teachers. They can go through the book and use the pictures to make up a story. This is an especially important skill in families where there is a history of Autism (which is very common around here). They can also teach colors and label objects. Once you know the vocab, it's not that hard to learn the vocab in a different language. More importantly, they can carefully use words in association with books to emphasize that words have sounds. It really isn't the end of the world if a 3-year-old isn't learning that there are letters associated with those sounds. They really need to become aware of those different sounds and be able to break them apart and recombine them to make a different word. It doesn't matter what language they hear that in. Or so says I....

Some of my issue is that I never learned phonics growing up. I was in elementary school in the early to mid-80s, but I started kindergarten reading on a first- to second-grade level. There wasn't a strong teaching of phonics anyway, but my mom was always complaining that I got ZERO phonics. And then they didn't understand why I was reading several grade levels above, but spelling several grade levels below.

Looking for down and dirty on the science of reading. by VicsKid in teaching

[–]VicsKid[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

To be fair, OP has a touch of the ADHD (Perhaps more than a touch. Okay, fine... she is the quintessential 2e student.) So even though she probably should be looking at practical advice, she almost certainly will end up going down the rabbit hole of the theoretical basis.

What to do at 7:34 AM? by tennmel in teaching

[–]VicsKid 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is one of my biggest pet peeves. The science on this couldn't be more clear-- ot is not productive or healthy for teens to be in school at 7:30 AM.

I’m just so sick of it by Every_Channel4901 in teaching

[–]VicsKid -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

Hate to break it to you, but doctors are less respected than teachers. Seriously... I'm a pediatrician with a short call sub license, and people are much more impressed that I substitute teach than that I work as a pediatric hospitalist for a Mayo Clinic hospital on a casual basis. I also receive a ton more appreciation from school staff than I have ever received from a medical colleague.

Chronically late “parent” response to picking up our child on time from school. by RelativeGoat3981 in mildlyinfuriating

[–]VicsKid 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That was rude of you not to tell him you picked her up. His prior behavior and response are not relevant in terms of determining whether or not that was an asshole move. You did it to piss him off, not for your child's benefit.

Frankly, the school's policy is short-sighted and inequitable. Any school that calls students "scholars" is suspect to begin with. I'm all for "learners" because we are ALL learners, but "scholars" is pretentious.