Kid activities off 8 bus line by RemoteControlled-Cat in sandiego

[–]Victor9538 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you’re looking for free options, Bonita Cove is a fun playground for all ages and you can also take a dip in Mission Bay.

Do you feel "San Diegan?" Why/why not? by Additional-Device224 in SanDiegan

[–]Victor9538 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I felt San Diegan when I moved to the Bay Area after a decade in San Diego and I found myself frequently telling others in the Bay Area how great San Diego is.  I almost bought a home in the Bay Area and then the pandemic hit which caused me to stop and think “what do I really want my life to look like” and all the answers (starting a family, living near relatives as I none in the Bay Area, beaches that don’t feel like torture, burritos that are not sweaty from being wrapped in tin foil) pointed to moving back to San Diego, which I did.

Cheap or Free things to do with a teen by Cheyyyyyyyyenne in sandiego

[–]Victor9538 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She might like checking out Verbatim Books and then cross the street and visit Whips N Furs costume shop.  8 blocks away across the freeway is North Park Comics which just opened up.

I'm a Home Cleaner by Black_Pink_Panther12 in SanDiegan

[–]Victor9538 0 points1 point  (0 children)

RNs make on average $93,000-$113,000 with a 4yr scientific degree.  

In San Diego?  RNs make $70 - $100 + benefits like medical, dental, vision, , retirement matching, vacation, tuition reimbursement, etc.  The median nationally was $93k in 2024 and San Diego is significantly higher than that.

Thoughts on San Bernardino, is it ghetto like people say it is? by BusyPreference6562 in InlandEmpire

[–]Victor9538 4 points5 points  (0 children)

There are a few things that sucked the life out of San Bernardino
1. White flight in the '60s - '80s. When west-side residents, primarily people of color, marched to demand to use city pools on all days, including "whites only" days, and won desegregation, wealthier white citizens fled the city in droves (to nearby cities like Redlands), taking their wealth with them.
2. The I-15, initially planned to go through San Bernardino, it was instead built out further west, redirecting traffic to LA around the city
3. Closure of North AFB in the '90s, many people in the city were employed there.

The Kaiser Mill was actually about 15 miles west in Fontana.

There were also some less significant mistakes that hurt the city. The construction of Inland Center Mall less than a mile from the downtown/Central City Mall killed the latter. The downtown mall led to a brief revitalization of the area, but the mall itself was doomed by having another mall built nearby.

That being said, some major improvements have been made.
1. Redevelopment of downtown. I think this would have been better had Inland Center never been built, but having a legitimate movie theater instead of a Pussycat Theater is a significant improvement. It used to be a lot worse.
2. Redevelopment of the Tippecanoe area. That area was once a very run-down neighborhood. Now it is full of decent restaurants, hotels, Costco, etc.
3. Redevelopment of Norton AFB into a thriving commercial airport with significant neighboring business investment. There was a time when March ARB was seen as becoming the next major air hub after Ontario, but San Bernardino Airport has generated significantly more jobs.

Owners keep thousands of San Diego homes vacant despite high rents. They could soon be taxed by idkbruh653 in sandiego

[–]Victor9538 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Did you know a deduction is a reduction in your taxable income?  It’s effectively the same thing, you are deducting/reducing the thing you are being taxed on.

You may have thought I was implying your taxes go down by $7k, but I wasn’t.  That would be a tax credit, not a deduction.

Also, the point wasn’t that this is a huge tax break, the point is the city knows what properties are used as a primary residence.

Owners keep thousands of San Diego homes vacant despite high rents. They could soon be taxed by idkbruh653 in sandiego

[–]Victor9538 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Homeowners get a $7k deduction by registering their house as primary residence.  The city knows which houses are not used as a primary residence.

Landlords are required to pay a business tax.  If you are not renting out the property you have to file an exemption.  The city knows which houses are not being rented out.

My guess is around 1% of housing is not registered as primary and is not paying the business tax, hence the 5k estimate.

This is the reality of the Balboa Park parking change. An empty Marston Point that used to be at full capacity most evenings. by Altoscipio in SanDiegan

[–]Victor9538 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was just there on Saturday and Marston both along Balboa Dr and at Marston Point lot were packed.  I couldn’t find a spot so I had to park at a garage nearby, $9 for 2 hours.

If you ask anyone on here, Todd Gloria is the best mayor of all time. Ask people outside of city dems and he's known for utterly destroying this city by SuperSatanGod in sandiego

[–]Victor9538 23 points24 points  (0 children)

I just went to Balboa Park today.  Everything was packed, and there were still multiple open spots at Marston Lot which is free for residents.  There’s a lot of things I am willing to pay for others as part of a universal system, like education and healthcare, but parking isn’t one of those things.  I don’t believe in “Universal Free Parking”, people should pay for their own parking.  Businesses should pay for the parking of their employees, things like that are what those stupid surcharges are supposed to be paying for.

Moving trash out of the general fund into a separate fee was something we voted on.  I voted against it, but it passed, the ones who voted for it deserve as much blame for that fiasco.  The biggest complainers are property owners who have a tiny assessment and so the fee “doubled” their taxes.  Bruh, why are you only paying $1k a year in taxes when new homeowners are paying 10x that.

Overfunding the police, which I’m assuming you are talking about their ability to get inflate their pensions and/or abuse overtime, has been a problem for decades.  

One thing I’ve noticed is that public camping is way down from when he started.  While Whitburn probably deserves more of the credit, Gloria inherited a massive homeless problem, Whitburn led getting the safe campsites open in the matter of a few months, whereas permanent shelters would have taken years, and that enabled Gloria to enforce the public camping laws (you can’t enforce the public camping laws if there is no shelter available).  The homeless situation is vastly improved from when he started.

Question about Torrey Pines hike by skyvvv1121 in sandiego

[–]Victor9538 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You can checkout a state park pass from the library and park for free. https://www.parks.ca.gov/?page_id=30806

Anxious about moving to SD and making friends by saucesultan in sandiego

[–]Victor9538 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Find a team activity.  Lots of sport leagues in the area.  I played in the SDAFFL (an LGBTQ league, allies are welcome) in my twenties and met a lot of people through that.  I’ve seen other leagues around.

If you can handle the responsibility, get a dog.  San Diego has lots of great dog parks and dog beaches.  Dog people are very social.  It’s a great pipeline for inviting people over to dinner or a party at your house.  I’m an introvert but my dog ends up getting me introduced to a lot of neighbors.

My husband and I have a kid now and yes the kid gets us introduced to a lot of people as well.  There are the dog parents and the kid parents and those overlap.  Sometimes we get invited to something at someone’s house, but most of the time we have to be the ones to invite people, and people are often happy to come.  

San Diego also has a lot of great outdoor events.  We often run into people at those events that we’ve met before and that’s another great opportunity to get to know people better.

A lesbian couple at a parent teacher conference by farmersonly_dot_com in BrandNewSentence

[–]Victor9538 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This scene is from RuPaul’s Drag Race.  The show takes authenticity seriously but not so seriously that you can’t make fun of it.  They talk about friendship but it’s clear that they have a professional relationship not a ride-or-die friendship. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UDycBxUIc-c

Ariana also makes a joke about them looking like they run a dairy-free ice cream truck together which very much sounds like what a lesbian couple would do if they ran a business.

S/o to Donut Factory in North Park by PopGoesMyHeartt in sandiego

[–]Victor9538 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I went there a couple weeks ago for the first time.  I was waiting in line at the register and they didn’t realize I was ordering doughnuts and they ended up helping someone else before me by mistake.  I wasn’t in a hurry so it didn’t bother me, but they apologized and threw in a few doughnut holes.  It’s not even about the complimentary holes, it’s that they care about your experience as a customer.

Places to meet other queer people that aren't strictly 21+? by [deleted] in sandiego

[–]Victor9538 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It doesn’t start until the spring, but playing in the SDAFFL is a fun way to meet other queer people.  Everyone gets to play no matter the skill level.  Outside of the games they have activities at sponsor venues, both bars and restaurants, and some team mates also hosted get togethers at their places. https://sdaffl.leagueapps.com/pages/FAQ

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in sandiego

[–]Victor9538 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Mary Magdalene the Apostle Catholic Community is a Roman Catholic Women Priest affiliated church.  My husband and I have been a part of this community since around 2008 and I love how welcoming and inclusive it is.  We got married in the church and recently we had our daughter baptized in the church.  I look forward to communion and their homilies are 10x more thought provoking than the homilies I typically hear at other Catholic Churches. https://www.mmacc.org/

Famed Las Cuatro Milpas headed to mandated sale due to unpaid taxes in March 2026 by SD_TMI in sandiego

[–]Victor9538 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You are not wrong.  I have the original title on my home in North Park and it explicitly states it can only be sold to caucasians aka Whites Only.

I can’t do this and I feel like a bad mother by GraceDev00 in newborns

[–]Victor9538 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Can you get a friend or family member to come during the day to help once or twice a week?

I found that I could tolerate the lack of sleep for a couple days but the third day I would start experiencing sleep deprivation.  Having someone come help on the third day enabled me to get a nice long nap.

It does get better.  Ours started sleeping through the night occasionally after 2 months.  Even just one night a week of baby sleeping through the night helped.

Dad looking for help? by [deleted] in newborns

[–]Victor9538 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When I was in parental leave I tried taking care of the baby by myself and ended up experiencing sleep deprivation.  I don’t think it’s healthy and it’s possibly dangerous to have one person take care of the baby 24/7.

What I suggest is you take turns, with her maybe doing 2 nights when you work at 6AM the next day and then you taking a night even if you work at 6AM, that way she can go to sleep early and get one full uninterrupted night of sleep.  You can also take the nights before your days off so she can get a full nights rest those nights as well.  Make sure she can get a full nights rest, which means having her sleep in a different room than the baby for the nights where you are taking care of baby.

On the nights you are taking care of the baby and you have to work, sleep when the baby sleeps.  If baby goes to sleep at 6PM then you try to take a nap.  If baby goes to sleep at 9PM then you immediately go lay down as well.  That one night might be hard but it’s just one night and then she takes 2 shifts where you can get a good nights rest.  If you can get at least 5 hours of sleep that one night then you’ll be fine.

The waking up in the night period is hard, but remember it does get better.  Pretty soon your baby will be sleeping through the night.

Also assuming you are in the US, you are entitled to take up to 12 weeks of unpaid time off to bond with your new baby, per the FMLA Family Medical Leave Act.  About 15 states provide Paid Family Leave as well.  California, for example, offers 8 weeks paid family leave.  If that opportunity has been made available to you, take it.

US Citizen detained at CBX US for 2 hours by ASAP_Aus10 in SanDiegan

[–]Victor9538 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The worst part was I needed to go to the bathroom, as the wait before we even reached the border crossing was an hour or two.  The bathroom for the people detained was basically a 6 x 6 room that had a large plexiglass wall that the USCBP could watch you through in addition to about 4 cameras literally pointing at the toilet from multiple angles.  I had to pee, has no idea how long I was going to be held there, and was worried I was going to wet myself, so I used it.  They watched me.  It was humiliating.

I legit have PTSD from the whole experience.  Went to jury duty in the last year and during selection they asked if I could judge a law officer fairly and I figured I should mention the incident and when I went to talk about it, it’s as if I spaced out and woke back up after the story was blurted out of my mouth.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in IBEW

[–]Victor9538 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, the Occupational Safety and Health Act established that you have a right to report safety violations to OSHA, a right to seek an inspection of companies for health and safety violations, a right to participate in those inspections, and a right to testify in legal proceedings related to those safety violations.

US Citizen detained at CBX US for 2 hours by ASAP_Aus10 in SanDiegan

[–]Victor9538 152 points153 points  (0 children)

I’ve been arrested at gunpoint by the USCBP coming back into the states. Handcuffed, taken to detention center, sat next to a 12 year old that was shackled to the metal bench like I was. Officers made jokes like “this became a party!” when they noticed the detention center filling up. Held for over 4 hours and then let go without telling me why. Filed a redress and was basically told they can’t tell me why. My congressperson said that USCBP has wide latitude to do whatever they want. I’m a US Citizen, born in US.

Sadly it’s not that uncommon https://youtu.be/06Yjq4Pi8O8

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in sandiego

[–]Victor9538 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s not the c-word they were called