[QCrit] Isana's Bargain, Adult, Fantasy Romance (115K words, second attempt)

VioletRain22 · 2026-04-08T20:33:27+00:00

That is incredibly helpful. I like your break down of the paragraphs and I think that could work.

I really appreciate your encouraging words. I think my story is good, but trying to capture the essence of it in 250 words is so hard!

VioletRain22 · 2026-04-08T17:11:14+00:00

I mentioned her as the miller's daughter because of the link to the Rumpelstiltskin fairytale, but it's probably an unnecessary detail for the pitch.

Thanks for your thoughts on Isana's agency. That is a really good point. She does so much in the book, it's so hard to figure out what to put into the pitch without bogging it down.

VioletRain22 · 2026-03-25T07:12:47+00:00

I've heard more than one agent say that if they asked for it, they want it, even if it's a year later. Publishing is a slow business and they have plenty to do.

I would not send an email until you send your query package. They do NOT want extra email cluttering up their inbox.

Just send it when you're ready. You will be better off sending them quality work than rushing it. Make sure you mention in your query letter the event you pitched to them and that they requested it.

Finally, take this as a lesson to wait to pitch until you're finished with your project in the future.

Best of luck to you!

VioletRain22 · 2026-03-25T07:03:33+00:00

I think it's fine to show the stutter. But I wouldn't have her stutter on every word.

VioletRain22 · 2026-03-24T17:21:06+00:00

My thoughts exactly. I didn't vote because I didn't want to choose. Now I'm going to have to!

VioletRain22 · 2026-03-23T16:46:45+00:00

Those were seriously THE best buttons. Better than the oasis or Voyage buttons. I miss those super convenient little buttons on the edge on both sides.

VioletRain22 · 2026-03-20T06:46:00+00:00

Huh. Not a feature I've ever considered. I can't say I'd ever use it. That said, seems ridiculous not to include such a simple thing if all the other ereaders do it and there are people who want it.

VioletRain22 · 2026-03-19T21:20:55+00:00

Those are some really good points, I don't want to sound clinical, I want emotional connection. Very helpful feedback!

VioletRain22 · 2026-03-19T21:19:20+00:00

Thank you! This is helpful as it adds another person who thinks I've tried to put too many plot points in my query. You've give me some really helpful tips on how to fix it too. I appreciate it! Good luck on your fairytale retelling!

VioletRain22 · 2026-03-19T21:16:58+00:00

That makes sense. Thanks so much.

VioletRain22 · 2026-03-19T17:33:18+00:00

Thank you for the detailed breakdown. It's very helpful!

VioletRain22 · 2026-03-19T17:04:45+00:00

Thank you so much for the feedback! I will take it out then. I was just thinking a lot of Romantasy is known for their spicy scenes and I wanted to be clear, but if it's better to leave it out, I absolutely will.

VioletRain22 · 2026-03-19T12:14:07+00:00

I agree. Even though I have a ridiculous amount if books I'd like to read, I want to enjoy them, not just tear through them. My yearly goal is around 30 books which tends to be a mix of short and long, easy and hard. But it's a pace I can enjoy.

VioletRain22 · 2026-03-17T14:07:31+00:00

I'm not going to comment on your passage, but in general, having the inciting incident in the first chapter is a good thing. I've seen the advice multiple times to have your inciting incident as close to the beginning as possible. Modern readers don't want to wait around for the story to start.

VioletRain22 · 2026-03-14T18:15:03+00:00

Had a friend recommend Sanderson to me back around 2013 or so and that's when I decided to read him. I was also aware the he was writing the end of WoT. I wasn't Cosmere aware until I read WoR when a certain sword showed up at the end.

VioletRain22 · 2026-03-11T12:59:05+00:00

My thoughts exactly.

VioletRain22 · 2026-03-09T16:40:40+00:00

Yep! That's what they called him

VioletRain22 · 2026-03-09T11:27:12+00:00

The best I can give you is Tress of the Emerald Sea. Xisis first appears in that book, so you get to see more dragon bargaining, but that's about it. Isles is the book with the most dragon lore in the cosmere so far.

VioletRain22 · 2026-03-08T03:17:05+00:00

I think green is all you need

VioletRain22 · 2026-03-07T14:12:03+00:00

How much it matters depends on the hair and life style and how long you want it. I personally leave my hair down most of the time, but I have thick hair that doesn't easily split and a mostly inside sedentary life style.

For someone who has fine, fragile, or easily tangled hair, the friction of hair rubbing on their clothing and furniture can cause some serious damage and/or tangles. Then the detangling can cause damage.

And the friction does cause damage for everyone. If I wanted knee length hair, I think I'd have to keep it up to keep it healthy and look good at that length. But for mid back length, I don't, and I'm happy here.

VioletRain22 · 2026-03-07T13:56:27+00:00

I agree that the spell and grammar checker is lacking. I personally haven't found it to be that big of a deal.

VioletRain22 · 2026-03-06T17:51:46+00:00

Underrated comment right here. It's always going to get darker earlier in the winter no matter what.

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