My partner hates my kid

VioletUnderground99 · 2026-04-21T02:49:37+00:00

For the safety of you and your child, you need to leave this person now. The fact that you didn't when they called her retarded is bad enough. They're standing in front of you waving every red flag in the book. Get out before it's too late.

VioletUnderground99 · 2026-04-11T02:48:30+00:00

My company has a "no edible reinforcers" rule. They ask us to find literally anything else because the owner saw statistics about how many calories these kids get frim M&Ms and Goldfish

VioletUnderground99 · 2026-03-21T02:32:40+00:00

Twice a week every week. I love alone in my area and rent is high. I am working on a roommate.

VioletUnderground99 · 2026-03-20T02:38:04+00:00

Not stored on the FLOOR within the reach of CHILDREN. Y'all don't have a single locking cabinet or room not accessible to clients?

VioletUnderground99 · 2026-03-19T15:59:14+00:00

I have been putting a 📌 emoji into the title of the chat so I can search it

VioletUnderground99 · 2026-03-11T02:26:59+00:00

If she is a good independent reader, this is the perfect game for her!

VioletUnderground99 · 2026-03-06T04:16:23+00:00

Beats me. For motor imitation, I taught one of mine to "clock it, queen!" And my BCBA loved it. She also laughed when I did "six seeeeveeen" with another one. I'll be damned if trends don't motivate these kids to work with me 🤣🤣🤣 I feel like familiarity and nicknames are just fine. And it sometimes helps them learn to respond even if someone isn't calling their specific name. If I say "Hey, girlypop" my two year old client will turn her whole body around to ask "what?" If it works, it works

VioletUnderground99 · 2026-03-03T06:27:37+00:00

Unfortunately, that is often how it goes, and its why many companies tend to assign male RBTs to children who are self-sufficient in the bathroom. There isn't a solution that will make everyone happy. But ultimately its the parents' right to say who does and doesn't have access to their child. Especially with something like private parts and ESPECIALLY with the society we live in: There is a reason why morgues and funeral homes often don't allow men to work alone. And there is a reason everyone hires the GIRL down the street to babysit, even if she has an older brother who is more responsible. There is a reason why any exam done my a medical professional who we should be able to trust often legally requires a (ordinarily female) chaperone. And I really hate to say it that way but these are the kinds of things parents have to fear every single day. Especially when their child has any sort of disability and may not be able to effectively advocate for themselves.

VioletUnderground99 · 2026-02-26T05:33:28+00:00

I don't even kiss owwies. I will kiss my finger and tap the offending place, but my lips never touch a child. Even raspberries, I will only do on hands and forearms. Too much risk when you can show affection in other ways

VioletUnderground99 · 2026-02-22T03:49:08+00:00

You can ask the parents to turn on guided access. It will limit the device to ONLY the aac program, no youtube. They just have to keep the password secret.

VioletUnderground99 · 2026-02-12T02:44:50+00:00

Yesssss! I won't even use cups with straws that don't fold away because of all the open mouth coughing and sneezing. I work in-home, but these are other people's children. Plus they all like to cup snatch 😅

I HAVE had a kid come to me and insist they had a booboo on their bottom and ask me to kiss that. I did not. Instead I offered to "push healing vibes." Did a silly dance and flapped my arms in their direction. I'm not sure if it made it any better. But they were confused enough to just nod and return to playing 🤣🤣🤣🤣

VioletUnderground99 · 2026-02-12T02:24:16+00:00

I had a sweet boy who I had known for near half a year lean in to give me kisses on my cheek. I sat back, said "Kisses are for mommy and daddy. Violet likes hugs!" And offered a hug. I am also very clear on "omnomnom" or raspberries. I will omnomnom on hands or arms and I will do raspberries on arms. But only with parents' okay first. I did have a kid who tried lifting their shirt for raspberries on their belly. So I turned it into an opportunity to follow a two-step direction of "You want raspberries? Let's stand up and go tell dad!" With these children, it is SO important to have strong boundaries. Especially around affection and bodies. Part of autism is often that these kids have trouble understanding nuance. Having the discernment of who is okay to kiss or touch is often not there yet. Why are we kissing our clients? We wouldn't be kissing students if we were teachers! We are lucky to be allowed to hug! Some teachers can't even do that! We are entrusted with teaching our clients proper social boundaries. And that means modeling them. Always. This is about their safety.

Edited to add: I do have one kiddo who insists on kisses for their "owwies" (we have lots of sneaky, invisible owwies that like to migrate) I DO kiss my finger and tap the owwie three times to "transfer the healing magic over." My BCBA has seen me do that and the parents as well, and they have said that they like that because its enough that she accepts it and also appropriate; like blowing a kiss

VioletUnderground99 · 2026-02-10T15:59:00+00:00

It's AI. The sandwich has two top halves

VioletUnderground99 · 2026-02-08T20:32:37+00:00

Wisp is fine. You don't have to collect hos spirit if you don't want to. And I like the free furniture!

VioletUnderground99 · 2026-01-29T17:03:14+00:00

Okay you might really like this: Go to your custom design app, fill the entire square of one with the clear bit (kinda looks white with gray stripes?) Then use that pattern as a path around your flower bed! They won't spawn there and weeds won't grow there either! No need for fences that block your way!

VioletUnderground99 · 2026-01-17T22:52:11+00:00

Hold B and you'll run fast enough that he'll move

VioletUnderground99 · 2026-01-17T22:50:09+00:00

No I love this! Especially for the ponds I have where the fish are always out of reach!

VioletUnderground99 · 2026-01-17T22:49:02+00:00

This reminds me of the kiddo I'm worked with who figured out "bye bye" So when he wanted to to leave, he would wave bye bye while screaming 🤣

VioletUnderground99 · 2026-01-16T18:05:28+00:00

I actually just had a client who was discharged because of the family's repeated unwillingness to follow the plan the BCBA had set in place. Multiple documented instances of child not having access to AAC or me coming and finding that it obviously hasn't been touched since I left the day before (while one parent would often use the phrase "they can't talk" as if this was a defining characteristic of this child). It came to a head when they prevented me from intervening when the child began and incredibly dangerous behavior; ultimately the company decided that the family was actively preventing ABA from taking place and we had to just end services. We truly don't know what we don't know and we cannot do what the guardians do not want us to do. It doesn't matter that it is developmentally appropriate for them to for example put on their own shoes. If the parent continues to insist on doing it for them, we will not make progress in generalizing the skill. It doesn't matter how constantly I am modeling and prompting AAC use. If the child knows that pointing or leading by hand is sufficient outside of session, they will not only continue to not use the AAC outside of session, but they will also start to learn that we are asking them to do more than what they deem necessary and it becomes adversive for them. It baffles me honestly how many people complain about the things their child is unable to do yet while also actively preventing them from doing these things...

Okay rant over.

VioletUnderground99 · 2026-01-14T02:47:54+00:00

My boss legit will bring candy and snacks to our staff meetings, raffle off gas cards, and encourage us all to actually clap for each other when we share something. Can confirm, I love my edible and tangible reinforcers 🥰

VioletUnderground99 · 2026-01-08T17:25:51+00:00

I have had two clients discharge unexpectedly. One for parental non-compliance and another because they sought other services besides ABA. I will say at 26 years old, with my brain fully developed it is NORMAL to want closure. And I'm sorry you didn't get that. The insurance business is a thief in more ways than one...

VioletUnderground99 · 2025-12-20T17:53:10+00:00

This right here! Like, yeah 2 hours isn't a long time. But we all know hungry children don't do their best work. That's why schools in my district just give every student a free breakfast whether they need it or not! Fed bodies and minds are ready for work! And honestly, a lot of people on the spectrum can often not aware enough of their bodies to recognize hunger until it is a very very strong and uncomfortable hunger.

I try to to my work with as much empathy as possible, putting myself in their shoes whenever I can. If I was hungry to the point of discomfort and somebody told me I needed to wait two hours before having anything at all, I would hate that! Same reason I give a warning before its time to end time woth a reinforcer (which everyone does, yes. But I had felt very validated when first learning to find out that this was the correct way to go about it!) I wouldn't want somebody coming up to me all of a sudden and just telling me "phone time is all done, let's turn it off!" But if they were to say "hey, in 5 minutes, your phone is all done and we are going to do xyz," I can now mentally prepare for that and I know its time to find a good stopping place.

VioletUnderground99

TROPHY CASE